Like everyone, due to the enforcement of quarantine (and now not having a fucking job), I’ve seen some truly dumb fuck comments on social media saying this moment is evidence of a coming new age of Communism. And, that ‘aren’t we lucky that this tragedy forced us into it, rather than having to rely on those pesky democratic votes to usher in the next great leap forward.’

To those insufferable morons I say this: right now we are experiencing an event of immense rare occurrence. It’s such a low frequency event that we have had to resort to extreme measures to fix it, i.e. a command economy bail out. IT’S. NOT. FUCKING. COMMUNISM. It’s effectively the government acting as an insurance company in case of an unforeseen cataclysmic event.

This mess and its TEMPORARY solution does not mean that Communism won the ideological argument. No, that argument was lost when over 100 million people were destroyed in the name of collectivism last century.

It does fucking mean that right now we are being visited by a threat so bad we’ve had to rely on the government to do it’s fucking job for a change and pay out our own taxes to keep private industries alive, so we can provide food and clothing for our young and keep the fucking lights on. It’s a stipend to keep us from falling into a neo dark age, you cretin.

And either way, now or in 18 months, whether we are still subsisting on the prexisting yet dwindling fruits of predominant Capitalism or not, when the Capitalism runs out we won’t be living in a Communist paradise. Oh no. We’ll be living in a Chinese, fucking wet market and your head will be on the chopping block, you ungrateful cunt It will be brutal, confusing, chaotic and downright horrific. People will not know what to do.

So, no. Stop indulging this weed induced student fantasy. Communism will never work and this isn’t Communism. We didn’t vote for it (unless Corona is now a casting vote) and you’ll have to go back to work when this is over. You fucking, fucking murderous ideology loving cunt.

Nominated by Jimmy The Cuntfinder General

‘At times such as these, I am reminded that our nation’s history has been forged by people and communities coming together to work as one’ – HM the Queen.

A stirring sentiment no doubt, in times of crisis, but sadly it seems, not shared by everyone on this sceptred isle. Take, for instance, the case of Britannia Hotels. This warm-hearted organisation wrote to staff at its Aviemore hotel stating:

‘On government advice, this letter is to confirm that from March 19th 2020, your employment has been terminated’. Staff were told to ‘vacate the hotel accommodation immediately, returning any company property’.

There you have it. Fired and chucked out of their accommodation, with no notice and no lay-off pay. Yes, at this awful time, the milk of human kindness overflows. This group’s hotels have a poor reputation for quality at the best of times, but its management really shot itself in both feet with this public relations disaster. Oh, naturally, it wasn’t THEIR fault; they were ‘acting on government advice’, the weaselling cunts. No room at the inn for the workers then, find yourselves a stable somewhere.

Of course, having generated a media shitstorm for themselves, the group issued a retraction. Now these letters must have been issued  as part of a management process; somebody somewhere gave the order. But apparently it was all a simple mistake,  apparently, a dastardly ‘administrative error’. That’s alright then, we all believe you, don’t we?

Nominated by Ron Knee

Women’s US football team…

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51835288

They want equal pay; they point to a number of things like revenue generated. They say that discrimination is plain sexism. Sorry girls, but sport is a meritocracy – a level playing field. The better you are, the more your potential earnings. You earn rewards by being better than others.

The US team won the World Cup, but got wasted by an under-15 boys team in a warm up game. I don’t see the boys grizzling for your fame, recognition or pay, but they are clearly better than you. Either beat every opponent, or shut up. Oh, and by the way, Trans women will fuck women’s sport up so much that you will wonder what you were moaning about in the first place

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

Let’s hear it for a – not so much Golden – (more turd brown) oldie, Gordon Brown, the jock with little support, who was one of our worst, though thankfully shortest reigning Prime ministers,who since retirement has reinvented himself into some sort of seedy elder statesman (the sort who stinks of piss and carries a bag of Wurthers Originals round in his dirty mac).

Wee Broon has decided to hold forth on the Coronavirus, and the response to it:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/mar/13/coronavirus-crisis-leaders-failing-gordon-brown

Our leaders are failing us – according to the man who sold our gold reserves at a giveaway price, and was such a fucking coward he sneaked in at the end of an EU meeting, hoping nobody would see him, to sign away more of our independence. Despite that he continues to be a self-righteous, self important, pious, smug crafty old cunt.

Blair’s fuck buddy was a useless PM and an even worse commentator on life today, and he wouldn’t be missed if he decided to fall into the arms of the Loch Ness Monster.

Broon – shut the McFuck up.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

The Wokeness of the Wombles!

The Wombles are making a come back, but the Cunts who control the rights to the brand (Craig Treharne) have decide that they need to reflect the diversity in society.

The ‘New’ Wombles will include a black one – I am not sure why because the Wombles were never white, they were never human, They Were fictional and looked like teddy bears, with teddy bear colour.

The son of Elizabeth Beresford, the creator of the Wombles, said it is an insult to his mother memory. The Wombles were fictional, none political and did not relate to any specific race or religion.

The question is why?

For fuck’s sake, just bring back the Robertson’s Golly and rename it as fucking ‘Rasta’, if the Wokes want more colour in fictional characters!

Nominated by Sick of it