Self-isolation being a bit of a cunt, earlier today the wife and I decided to venture out for a little walk, which Government advice states is permissible. Common sense told us to limit the walk to half an hour, and not take the car to venture further afield. In effect, this led us to take a stroll around the local park, strictly observing ‘social distancing’ etiquette in the process, of course. Naturally enough, plenty of other locals had been thinking along similar lines, so it was a case of more people, equals more dog-walkers, equals more dog shit lying about the place.
However, the odd, even slightly bizarre factor in this, was that almost all of the crap left about had been put into little black bags by the pooch owners. So far, so good, but these bags of shit hadn’t then been disposed of responsibly – they’d just been left scattered about the park in their dozens; on the grass, on the paths, hanging like macabre decorations from bushes and railings, even in the fenced-off toddlers play area.
Now a pooch may well be a most amiable companion, but his social skill set is basically limited to guzzling, chasing sticks, sniffing other dogs’ arses, trying to hump any available leg and…shitting. He can’t pick up his own crap, even if his muttish mind could possibly conceive the need to, so it’s up to his/her owner to observe the niceties. Sadly, it seems that while many owners feel guilty enough these days to bag up their dog’s crap, their conscience and sense of responsibility does not extend to taking it away with them, even simply as far as the nearest bin.
You might think that as we are gripped by the greatest public health crisis most of us have ever experienced, people would display a heightened sense of awareness about matters of hygiene. Apparently not, and large numbers of dog owners continue to display the same sense of selfishness and lack of consideration for others that they’ve always done. They own the dogs, but not the mess. It’s left lying about in those ubiquitous little bags, festering away. It’s somebody else’s problem.
Anti-social dog owners are oafish cunts; thanks for what is literally a sack of shit.
Nominated by Ron Knee
I’d like to give a cunting to this accent. It fucks me off as it is now permeating many facets of life; adverts, radio (always BBC) DJs, in a few years the Labour Party (if it’s still around – hopefully as a fringe party to be laughed at). It annoys me because it has replaced cockney, it annoys me because it’s rapid ascendency just shows what a cunt Blair and his fucking multicultural vision has done to this country, it annoys me because the word ‘community’ has been altered to ‘koo-moon-it-E’, it annoys me because now the youth have a propensity to pepper their sentences with the word ‘like’, which has been altered to ‘laak’. It annoys me because grime “artists” are now given the time of day and producers of tv and radio now give them airtime, instead of saying “You sound like a stabby cunt who should be euthanised”. It annoys me because it is lazy (words are now meaning several things, suggesting it is for the indolent and thick). And it really fucks me off because it spawned that infernal word “innit”. It also annoys me because it reminds me of London, a foul hole filled with cunts who speak MLE in their various Koomoonities, which I think is London speak for drug dealing, knife wielding cunts who get uppity if you call them that and accuse you of being ‘waycist, blud’ and all voted for Corbyn.
If you want to sound like one of those cunts here is a video of how to do it from that Uber cunt Stormsie (Stormzy in MLE)
Nominated by Fortress Cuntimus