Coronabonds – If the situation wasn’t so serious, you’d piss yourselves laughing. Oh what the heck, go on; have a good laugh anyway at the absurdity of the ‘all for one, one for all’ European Union.

After much back-biting and in-fighting, the EU has finally agreed on a £430 billion rescue package to give aid to member states devastated by the appalling Coronavirus pandemic. The arguments rage on though, and there’s clearly still an awful lot of bitterness and resentment rattling around in the Union of Brotherly Love, most of it, it appears, being levelled at the poor old Netherlands. Yes the unfortunate Dutch are being vilified for blocking demands from (amongst others) Spain, France, and in particular Italy, for so-called ‘Coronabonds’, whereby debt would be ‘mutualised’ (ie; shared, or pooled) between the nations of the EU.

The flak is fairly flying in the direction of Amsterdam. Portugal’s PM Antonio ‘Cheeky Cunt’ Costa has even had the gall to question the future role of the Dutch in the EU. He stated ‘there is at least one country in the Eurozone that resists understanding that a shared common currency implies a common effort. Naturally I’m referring to The Netherlands’. Dutch Finance Minister Wopke Hoekstra is standing firm however, and insisting that ‘The Netherlands is and will remain opposed to (Corona)bonds’.

Well can you really blame the Dutch? Coronabonds; now there’s a fucking brilliant idea if ever I heard one, an idea whose time most definitely has not come. Profligate countries could go on a spending spree and run up ever greater mountains of debt, and then saddle the fiscally prudent with the responsibility of repaying huge chunks of what’s owed by the spendthrifts. Great idea if you’re Portuguese, Spanish, Polish, Greek or Italian; an absolute fucking nightmare if you’re Dutch or German.

All for one and one for all, huh? What a joke. For the most part, it’s much more a case of ‘what’s yours is mine, what’s mine’s my own’. Watching this shambles unfold, I cannot for the life of me understand why so many in the UK remain so utterly devoted to the idea of scrambling back aboard the Eurotanic, as it’s starting to display all the signs of being holed below the waterline. I’m just grateful for the fact that we’ve gotten out by the skin of our teeth. Things are going to get pretty bad for us here in the UK, but at least we won’t have those cunts in Brussels thinking that they’re free to dip their sticky fingers into our coffers anymore.

And in closing, I’d say this to the amiable, industrious and prudent Dutch; when this Covid-19 horror is over, come and join us. Leave all those cunts in southern and eastern Europe standing there with their begging bowls extended, and in the meantime, keep telling them to stick their Coronabonds up their arses.

Nominated by Ron Knee

KEIR’S QWEERS:

Let’s hear it please with jazz hands and a rousing rendition of “If I Ruled The World” for the complete shadow cabinet of Duchess arounf town Kweer Charmer. I popped into that bastion of wishful thinking and camp self importance Labour List, the other day, and there in black and white (and red) is the full list of the has-beens and never were’s of the Labour party post Anthony:

https://labourlist.org/2020/04/shadow-ministers-appointed-as-starmer-completes-frontbench/

Notice, in addition to the amount of Parking Stanley’s and dark keys in minor roles, the number of fruity gentleman that populate the list: the ridiculous Russell-Moyle (“I’ve got the virus duckie and I am going to scream about it”), Kyle from the other bastion of buggery in Brighton (he’s doing “youth victims”, ooh get you dear!) Streeting, a few lesbian ladies, some of them closetted,

There are a few favours repaid – nods to old fuckers who constituted the class of 97 – Neil’s son, for example, little Stephen, who will be occupied with Asia. The notorious failures – Pat McFadden and Ed Miliband. Retreads like Rachel Reeves, Toby Perkins, and Kerry McCarthy (she has Green transport and aviation. If she is that green she shouldn’t be flying and I assume she thinks Green transport is the Green Line mummy used to take her on when she was a girl). Falconer is still embalmed in the HOL. A dreary list of mincers, benders, placemen and total crawlers , the effette would-be sons of toil with names like Toby, Fabian and Tulip.

As BSM Williams would have said “I have never seen a more blatant display of poofery in my life”

It will be noted that every appointee is a firm remainer/people’s choice agitator.

Every cloud has a silver lining and I suppose we should give a half-hearted round of applause for the omission of the dreadful Dawn Butler creature, Yvette Cooper and Hilary Mary-Ann Benn .

Just one thought: where is former BBC iron Ben Bradshaw? – perhaps he is in charge of the paperclips and butt plugs.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

JESS PHILLIPS M.P.:-

We had the Blair babes many years ago, the cocksucking wimmin who worshipped the lavatory pan St Anthony shat on. Now for his Blair Mark 2 act Dame Kweer presents Starmer’s Skanks, illiterate trollops who can barely string a sentence together, men hating harridans, and the brummie bitch has been elevated along with fellow skanks like Angela Rayner:

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/labour-mp-jess-phillips-promotion-keir-starmer-a4411871.html

Now all they need is Eddie Izzard in fairy godmother mode.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs