Chick flicks need cunting.

Now don’t get me wrong…..

When cuddling up with her on a morning, I’m hardly gonna put on rambo:first blood or rape,kill,bludgeon 4…
But why does every chick flick have to have the same fucking story again and again and again…? And again….

Bird isn’t happy with her cuck soy boy boyfriend.
Fragile but rich, handsome and funny guy shows up.
Fragile rich guy acts all flustered and shy.
She is the same.
She leaves beta cuck.
Rich handsome guy asks her out in a really shy way.
She says yes.
He does something that hurts her and she wants revenge.
They get back together.
Her revenge thing happens and she hurts him.
They get back together.
I get a shag.

Now I like the ‘I get a shag’ part but why the fuck do I have to go through the exact same fucking script week in week out? Can’t these chick flick people come up with a different story for a few of these films?

Can’t someone just do something exciting?
It’s a film for fucks sake. Where are the car chases? Where are the terrorists getting splattered? Don’t they realise that men have to watch this shite too?

In fact, during the writing of this cunting I’ve realised that I’m complaining about nothing and in fact maybe these films are designed to keep women in the mood while I spend a while recovering and then moving in for the next one…
Fuck it. This cunting has been a total waste of time.
Chick flicks serve a purpose. A very important one.
But they’re still cunts coz the story is ALWAYS the same.

Nominated by Deploy the Sausage

Virtue signalling irrelevant celeb cunts who are starring in ‘The One World: Together At Home show will see more than 100 artists including the Rolling Stones and Billie Eilish play live from their homes’

I have no fucking idea who Eilish is and I presume the Stones will be performing in their care home. But wait, Lady Gaga is also starring, so virtue is assured.
Proceeds are going to the WHO, so no problems with corruption then. They only need raise a billion or so to make up the shortfall the Donald has imposed on the WHO.

What a thoroughly pointless exercise in fucking stupidity that will benefit a bunch of me me me cunts and fuck all else.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

A cunting for the Lady Gaga Globohomo One world cuntfest.
You can imagine the sort of dipshit who will tune in; the sort of cunt who enjoys Ed Sheeran and George Ezra, as well Dinosaurs like Sir Elton and Sir Macca.
Dippy glasto cunts called Amelia and Toby.

The BBC has decided to broadcast this shite, with geniuses like Dermot o’Leary and the zombie Claudia Winkleman saying how ah-maaaaing it all is, forgetting that one of the recipients of the money raised will be the WHO. Fuck that. I’m not a Chinese communist party sympathiser and dont think mych of international organisations covering up their fuck-upss, cose the Director is an Ethiopian Marxist cunt.

You can see the Epsilons rocking and gibbering in front of the TV or PC monitor to Macca wheezing through Hey Jude…
‘Take a sad song, and make it better’
Make it better Sir Paul. Take the virus away from us. The beautiful, talented celebrities will heal us. Heal the planet. Raise money for the WHO.
WHO goooood.. Trump… baaaaddd.. baaaaaa….

Basic bastard globalist Greta and Gaga-worshipping cunts.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

I’d like to nominate ageing rockers and others,who can’t accept that they are now well past it. If they can still belt out a tune, then good for them, but if not, then they should just hang up their microphone because they are just embarrassing themselves and swindling their fans, although they must be cunts themselves to pay good money to see someone croaking out of tune.
It’s ok though I suppose for the likes of old grandma Jagger who couldn’t give a toss how bad he now sounds, as long as he trousers a fat fee.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

I would like a Lemon Curd coloured cunting for Tessa Wong, a journo who ‘contributes’ to the Leftie News Propagandists, specifically for this piece:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-51456056

Despite them having released a virus that has fucked the entire world over both medically & economically, told dangerous fucking lies about it (“not human-to-human transmissable”) & then created vast smoke screens to hide behind, we are now not allowed to be nasty to our moon-faced custard coloured cousins.
It is racist apparently to ‘joke’ that the Chinese will eat anything. Well, as I said to ‘er-indoors last night as we tucked into roasted civet cat & deep-fried locust, with bat-wing ice cream for dessert, “you just can’t beat a good chinky.” No, that didn’t happen, obviously, we had pasta – which has not yet mutated to give me the raging chinese syphilitic bat shitting disease or anything approaching it.

So listen up Tessa, the initial outbreak of SARS in 03/04 was proved to come from catching weird shit & eating it, so it isn’t waycist to accuse the fuckers of doing it, or joke about it.

The questions over how this virus jumped species are yet to be answered, mainly because Fu Manchu is sitting on the evidence, due in my opinion to the fact that if it did break out due to an accident in the Wuhan Centre for Disease Control, as some are claiming, then Comrade Xi & his merry band of commie cunts will be looking at a large fucking bill with ‘Rest Of The World’ as the payee, or down the wrong end of Orange Don’s metaphorical AR16 if they don’t comply.

If this pandemic spirals &, as some of the stuff I’m reading is saying, our food supplies start dwindling, there is going to be blood on the fucking streets in short order. So a few ‘No.23 & No.47 with egg fried rice’ jokes aint gonna count for fuck-all.

Nominated by The Stained Gusset

ASDA are cunts.

Apparently these fuckers do not have any available online order slots until July. I know things are bad at the moment, but that is taking the absolute piss. And their helping the vulnerable bit is bollocks and all. I have a mate who is high risk and can’t leave his house and he has the paperwork to prove it. But can he get a booking on the ASDA site? Can he fuck. I know for a fact that ASDA cater for their ‘peaceful’ clientele and go out of their way to treat them with kid gloves. They even sack their own employees in order to appease them. So do not be fooled by ASDA’s ‘Feeding The Nation’ bullshit. Feeding their own coffers and their favourites more like. The cunts….

Nominated by Norman

Millenials are by and large cunts. Here in East London the fuckers have decided that they are not going to die so have given up isolation. Presumably they think with an economic crash they will be able to afford to buy a house. They have no memory of the early 1990s when interest rates were at 15% and not many people could afford to pay. These entitled cunts moan about how they are the first generation to confront global catastrophe (made up) forgetting entirely mutual assured nuclear armageddon (real). They have invented nothing but pronouns and their shitty world will be Chinese because they have neither the courage or mental capacity to make sure it isnt. They will almost certainly be euthanising those who disagree with their intolerant bollocks as soon as the fuckers wield power. Cunts.

Nominated by Smug cunt