Wasps
A few days of April sunshine and all of a sudden these buzzing stripy cunts appear out of nowhere. They’re like those Romanian windscreen cunts who hang around junctions with the lights on red so that they suddenly appear next to your car with an oily sponge and a bucket of dirty water splattered all over your windscreen and then expecting you to cough up a fiver for the privilege.
Wasps are cunts, and I don’t care what the ecologists or environmentalists may say about how important they are in the food chain etc. I couldn’t give two fucks quite frankly – they’re cunts, and aggressive little cunts at that. Especially when you have the windows wide open on a hot Spring day, and the cunts slip in unnoticed like a Booshka/Pikey about to raid your home!
Sometimes you can hear them buzzing around in your bedroom, but you can’t see them, but you know they’re there somewhere! And you can’t settle down until you know you’ve found it and either splattered it and/or turfed it back out of the window.
Wasps are the chavs of the insect world: they serve no purpose, always feed off the backs of others, are noisy, have no class, thick as shit and utter utter cunts!
Nominated by Technocunt
More psychopaths!
Chinese probably stir fry em as a tasty treat.
Bit like cyclists, yellow, and black stripes, always in the fuckin way,irritating little cunts.
I like bees, bees are level headed, but wasps are cunts!
Stung me a few times and every time it was unprovoked!
They need fuckin medication the puddled little nasty cunts.
Drop the attitude you antisocial sting first ask questions later fuckers.
16
Except for an African honey bee, which are mentally agressive, just like their semi-human continental compadres paddling over the channel in their dinghies.
19
Thomas@
Watched a show on tv last week called ‘venom Hunters’.
2 blokes, a yank and a Aussie travelling around getting bitten of venomous animals, spiders,fish,ants etc
Very funny!!
Love it when animals make yanks cry even if its a broken heart.😀
7
Was one of them called Coyote?
2
Dont think so CP, not sure but it was funny!
2
Their venom is a spiteful cunt too. If you get stung in the finger or thumb, there’s an enzyme in it that prevents it exiting your digit for as long as possible. I got stung last summer and my thumb was still hurting like fuck an hour later.
10
Where would I find said bees??
4
Couple of years ago I was beavering away in my back garden (not a euphemism) putting up decking, with a nice cold can of pepsi max on hand to swig from (other shitty chemical-laden substances for fatties to assuage their pizza-eating guilt are available).
Upon one of said swigs I very quickly realised a jasper had crawled into the can cos the little bastard stung me right on the fucking lip; and when I furiously gobbed him out he fell and stung me on the fucking thumb as well. Cunt. I looked like John Merrick for a fucking week
13
Happened to a fella i knew on a building site once. Knocking up a load of concrete by hand, boiling hot day, he takes a swig out of an orange juice carton, goes down like a sack of spuds holding his neck,eyes bulging,rolling round the floor like a nutter. I thought the cunt was having a fit, he couldn’t speak so no fucker knew.
Finally some other builder cunt put 2 and 2 together and called an ambulance, cunt had been stung by a wasp in the throat. Nasty cunts wasps.
5
I often catch wasps and put them in an old football sock. Shake it about to fucking rile them and then push my tadger in. Painfully at first, it soon swells up like a narrow…..sorry, wrong website….
23
That sounds like something Tinribs would do to Mr Snodworthy
7
Is that where the term “gives me the horn(et) comes from?
10
Jesus, I doubt if even B&WC would go that far. But on reflection……..
0
Try my best to encourage these flying cunts to nest in my garden , useful little fuckers when the neighbours are having BBQs in late summer with screaming brats , poke the nest with a big stick run indoors job done lol , split arses and screaming kids and spoiled BBQ fuckin class
23
Harry@
Get a few open jars of syrup, jam whatever,
In the garden, soon be crawling with wasps!
Or open glasses of cider,
Wasps can’t handle their drink, and start looking for a fight.
If they built a nest wait till the neighbours have a party and throw a brick at the nest, start filming it.
Everyone happy!👍
10
In Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis Miserable Gregor Samsa wakes up one morning to find himself transformed into a huge great insect. What do you think of that?
4
Been done before Miles Im not impressed.
Loads of insect people around!
ALL chinese are locusts=fact.
Ant and dec
Flea from the red hot chilli peppers,
The Beetles
PG woodlouse
The Scorpions
Dennis grassHopper
Worlds full of them!
Bugs me.
11
Miles, you should get a job writing Brodie’s Notes…
2
Miles, was he a wasp?
2
The insect is not stipulated. Daz. As in his other famous book The Trial K never finds out what he is charged with.
He has just changed into an insect. But the way it is done he is like feeling his way in his new body, getting used to the wings and the like.
The insect body peculiar to Gregor Samsa it is.
Very strange book.
2
Horrible little cunts. Not a fan, might get a salt gun.
8
Bees make honey
Wasps make marmite
8
One of those creatures I absolutely hate, along with mosquitoes, rats, and pi-kees. Not sure which is worse.
9
The travelling community is suffering more than most in this crises.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52556488
The BBC being very susceptible to blarney then publish the fairytale fiction as news.
Cunts
8
Locked down in a house that can move about???? I’ve fucking heard it all now.
6
I like thIs line, well I don’t actually…….
‘Some Irish Travellers asked to be anonymous because of fears about public abuse’
Jesus where to start on that, fucking priceless.
Firstly if you want to be anonymous become an ‘Oirish Traveller’.
Secondly, if you really want to know how to dish out violence and abuse become an ‘Oirish Traveller’
Just fuck off. What a fucking pile of cunt.
That’s got to be one of the most dishonest and disingenuous ‘quotes‘ I’ve ever read.
10
No power, no water, no taxes, no morals, no teeth.
9
Talking of annoying cunts I’ve just had my response from BBC complaint I made on the edited Trump on light and bleach
“Dear Mr Daz
Thank you for contacting us about our recent News coverage on President Trump’s press conference. We are sorry to hear you have concerns about the way this was reported.
We have reviewed the footage and we strongly reject the idea that President Trump was deliberately presented in a bad light or that the material was manipulated to give a misleading impression of what had happened.
The introduction to the report on the News Channel that afternoon made it clear that preliminary US government research suggested that coronavirus does die more quickly when exposed to sunlight and heat. This point was repeated in the report itself and it was made clear that President Trump’s comments were in response to these early findings. The report included Donald Trump’s comments and reflected accurately the response there had been from others, including manufacturers and the scientific community, to his remarks.
It is wrong to suggest that the BBC hid the research covered in the press conference and to which the President was responding. It is also wrong to say that the BBC reported the President urged people to drink bleach. Viewers heard Donald Trump speak for himself and were able to draw their own conclusions about his ideas and the reaction to them. The news reporting of what happened necessarily compressed a briefing overnight of almost an hour to a report of under three minutes and the BBC exercised its independent editorial judgement in deciding which points to include. It did not in any way alter the clips of the President it selected or give a misleading impression of what he said.
All BBC News reporting is required to be duly impartial and accurate by the BBC’s Editorial Guidelines and we are confident this was the case here”.
Kind regards,
BBC Complaints Team
http://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints
CUNTS!
8
I have read this 4 times and it reads like an app has written it ….or a chink with reasonable command of English. CUNTS!
8
Complain again to the BBC Daz, tell them you are wholly dissatisfied with their response which did not address the relevant issue – IE the BBC deliberately edited and manipulated a speech by the President of the United States for political reasons.
When you get the usual delayed, generic, bulls*it response take it to OFCOM, where former BBC employees will cast their, ahem, “impartial” eye over it and agree with the BBC.
But every complaint taken to OFCOM is another recorded nail in the coffin of the BBC.
I believe “cunts” sums up AL-BEEB quite well, change it or get rid.
10
Foxy,
Will do. Back in work tomorrow at 06:00 so will do it then…ok to call you Foxy or do you prefer Vernon…or Mr Fox?
2
Don’t really mind Daz – the good lady calls me a lot worse (face of an angel, mouth of a navvy she has!) 😁
2
Think on ISAC only me who calls you Foxy?
All the other lads use Vern.
2
Wasps are indeed cunts, I’ve always believed if they were big enough they’d eat you.
Aggressive little fuckers too, like a 20 year old peaceful, full of steroids and who’s not yet had the chance to sow his oats due to ‘religious reasons’ and the lack of vulnerable under age white girls.
I recommend a can of WD-40 and a lighter, burn the cunts, oh and a can of wasp killer for the wasps.
11
I can’t agree with this nom. It’s very waspist as they do more good than harm.
Wasps keep the number of crop and garden pests down by eating greenfly, caterpillars, flies etc. As we know, we don’t grow enough crops in the UK as it is. Without wasps, crops would be decimated.
There are even encouraging signs that their venom might be able to be used against cancers.
9
Really?
Funny enough that programme I mentioned was based on a book by some medical bloke who was researching venoms for use in medicine.
4
A few weeks ago it was suggested by the right hon Ron Knee that I gave birth to a new noun for a bunch of cunts…That being a Branson. Can I amend that to wasps. Them little fuckers go and get their mates, with this in mind can the noun be a branson of wasps….CUNTS.
8
Hahahaha…my neighbour heard me sniggering and looked over the barbed wire fence I recently erected…
2
Eh? Admin Mr sniggering? FFS. No wonder people are making up their own verbs and words to Mr muted and surreptitious expulsion of joy rather than overtly expressed at…….
2
Daz, its a racial slur within the word.
Try this! Sníggëring.
Little ball things above the consonant.
2
MCN – will do – i seem to spend more time sat outside the Headteachers office than in the play ground with the rest of you due to moderation….
1
…..nuke em!
4
I’m partial to splashing on a bit of eau de toilette, mainly Joop, when I go out – the little fuckers love that and it’s a game of ‘let’s see who can sting this cunt first’.
I don’t wear it in the summer now, it’s too fucking dangerous.
Hope we don’t get an influx of those nasty inch long Japanese Hornets – I’ll never come out the house again.
3
Maybe Trump could napalm China in Joop….
2
Haha!
Mosquitoes are the worst!
They fuckin love me, drive them wild with lust!
Must of lost 3 pints of blood in Greece.
The little vampire cunts.
Thought I was safe on a stag do in Amsterdam,
They got me there as well!
3
The very pronunciation of the word wasp puzzles me.
Those of a Northern persuasion may call it a “wasp” – rhyming with “grasp” and are summarily frowned upon. Yet “grasp” “clasp” “asp” “hasp” are all pronounced that way… Only “wasp” is pronounced “wosp” and fuck all else rhymes with it, so why are Northerners wrong ?
Obviously my requirement to procure a “life” draws ever more urgent with each passing second…
8
Northerners are wrong because we are of a geographical disposition….we come up with some sensible stuff until we open our mouths then we sound fucking stupid.
5
If in doubt go with Vespid.
2
I don’t see many around here. I went to countryside pub that had a few flying about. Me and a mate got a bit merry and spent a couple of hours pressing our thumbs on their heads, then lined up the bodies to scare the waitress.
2
I think the yanks call them ‘Yellowjackets’.
2
Detestable little f*ckers. They have a place in life and in the food chain, but I have never understood why they insist on harassing something a thousand times their size – this ain’t gonna end well wasp!
5
I treat the little Cunts with the greatest of respect. I once felled an old,half-rotten tree that,unknown to me, had a wasps nest in it….the mad little Cunts damn near did for me and the hounds….who’d have thought they could sting through full chainsaw safety-gear…the rotten Cunts were still attacking us as we beat a hasty retreat in the pickup. A couple of days later when the hounds and I had recovered from this unprovoked assault we went back with a few gallons of red diesel and found where the bastards were still coming and going from the dead stem…. soon put a stop to their nonsense.
11
Those tiddlywinks have also shared their giant hornet with us now.
I have seen these things while working in the middle east. They are huge (about 2″ long) and massively agressive.
They will chase you relentlessly and trying to twat them just draws in more of them.
Even diving into water won’t help. They will wait for you to surface.
A mate got stung by one while out riding his quad bike and spent two weeks in hospital. His arm came up like a marrow and the sting leaves a hole like a bullet wound.
They still chase me through my nightmares.
2
Some fucker imported European wasps to Oz, as if we don’t have enough venomous biting stinging fuckers here already.
On the tropical Asian wasps I’ve never seen lads disappear so fast when someone steps on a black bee nest. By the time I noticed I was alone the swarm was locked onto me. Only one sting luckily. My forearm swelled up like Popeyes
2
Rather a swarm of wasps than a plague of peacefuls.
2