Current day comedians are cunts. Almost without exception.

PC, woke, lefty and above all unfunny. Watch (if you don’t want to laugh) Live at the Apollo. Dykes, Brexit-baiters, Effniks, Woke Wimmin, Pansies. Laugh? I thought I’d never start. And I didn’t. Yet the audience (snowflake/millennials) go wild, after a short pause to stare at each other to check “hey hope it’s ok to giggle at this joke”. In Norfolk we have a saying “they’d laugh to see a pudding crawl”. Sums the fuckwits up nicely.

Back in the day I was a bit contemptuous of the likes of Cannon and Ball and Little and Large (RIP) but they seem like comedy giants compared to this lot. They didn’t try to make political points, just to make people laugh. And how we could do with that now. Humour got us through the war but I don’t think many of this lot are even on our side. They are vapid piss-takers.

Nish Kumar, Russell “bossed eyed” Howard, Dara O’nobrain, Sarah “foul-mouth” Millican, The Effnik bloke who does ranganation and the frog-eyed gimp who is hanging about with him now. Can’t be bothered to look up their names. Need I go on?

I do have some regard for Lee Mack. I enjoy his sitcom and Hugh Dennis when he’s on it but not when he does Fuck the Week. The improvisations are embarrassing.

Comedy is in a state of terminal decline killed by utter cunts.

I thank you.

Nominated by Lord Helpuss

Attention cunters. 

As many of you may have noticed, the site has grown quite a lot over the last year or so with several new faces joining. Whilst this is, of course, brilliant, it does mean that there are now not enough admins to cover the sheer volume of nominations coming in on a weekly basis. As such, we are looking for more cunters to put their names forward to volunteer and help share the workload. If you have the time to spare and are interested simply send an email to the head admin on the contact form. Thank you and carry on cunting. 

Overly Prescriptive Cunts

One side effect of these challenging times(TM) is that silly bastards are posting even more rubbish on social media along the lines of “THIS is how you make a cup of tea”.

No, it’s how you like it. If I like mine differently it doesn’t make me inferior. It means we don’t like the same tea.

Bacon sandwiches seem to attract extreme levels of this nonsense, be it the “correct” nomenclature – butty, sarnie etc -, or the “right” sauce, which always seems to be brown, not “red”. Because “tomato” is such an absurdly long word. Do they call mayonnaise “white sauce”?

There will normally be some parochial North / South, Yorkshire / Lancashire, village A / village B bollocks as well.

Just grow up you stupid cunts.

Nominated by Guardian Hater

Both myself and the mrs have noticed that certain pharmacies in our area are not using/ignoring barcodes on products. They are suddenly putting 70s style sticky labels on things like Anadin and Lemsip with ‘prices’ written in biro. For example: one box of co codamol tablets (RRP: £2.90 in Boots or £2.50 in Tescos) was £4.00 in one chemist and £5.00 in another. The fact that these fuckers are using and abusing this virus crisis to chuck out the RRP and extort people (especially OAPs) is sickening. Some shops were rightly slagged off for upping the cost of bog roll and hand gel, but these chemists are just as guilty and they are raking it in. Who the fuck uses written on labels these days? Cunts like these who want to screw the British public, that’s who.

Nominated by Norman