Online busking is a cunt, isn’t it.

It’s tedious enough having to suffer these wailing ghouls when attempting to enter Sainsbury’s, carefully giving them a wide berth while they mewl renditions of hoary old turd tunes. Now these talentless greebo crows are begging on-line.

The Chînk virus has wiped own towns clean of these beggars but now you can still torture yourself without leaving your gaff. Marvellous. Even more dire versions of Wonderwall, Torn, Maroon bloody 5, and Bob fucking Marley. Even more African drumming. Nobody in their right mind wants to hear ethnic tribal drumming. I’d pay NOT to hear it.

Buskers should be taxed or better still, like Living Statues, Fire-breathers, and jugglers, they should be banned. All buskers. That includes the grinning tramp doing political rubbish, the whiny lesbô caterwauling Alanis Morisette tat, stripey blanket-wearing Chilean pipe-players, Yewtree ukulele cunts, or ràpey Jamaicans banging away on dustbins. All banned, all cunts.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Fella at work invaded my personal space yesterday. No problem to me. Thing is, he started going on about “social distancing” (cunt, I didn’t invite him over!) even though he was wearing a mask. Why is he even wearing a mask? And why does the mask sometimes dangle round his neck, or sit on top of his head like a party hat? If you think I’m riddled with the pox, stay away pillock.

He’s a fucking covidiot, is why. Yes, I’m re-purposing that term. It now refers to idiots like him who are quite content to chew the cud while the media and Bojo tell him what to think.

The WHO (cunts) guidelines recommend 1 metre, not 2. So that’s pretty much your normal personal space. No need for all the queuing. No need to shut everything down. No need to practically cross the road to get away from the postman, you cunts. No need to let your elderly mother go months without a visit, which is what’s happened to my mother in law because her other daughters are too thick to pop round and take precautions. If *we* were closer, it would be a different story.

Supposedly, I’m not supposed to have been visiting my mum or aunties. But it’s perfectly OK for me to visit OTHER PEOPLES mums and aunties, as their postman.

How am I supposed to take any of these “rules” seriously when they are so fucking stupid? The fact is, if you take appropriate precautions you can go anywhere and visit anyone.

The latest thing I’ve heard is that from Monday (not Sunday though!!) we can gather in groups of 6. And then presumably go off and join a different group of 6, and so on. So why not groups of 36, or 72 or whatever? What’s the farking point?

I’m sure that a lot of people are keeping their distance because they don’t know that that other people also think it’s bullshit. I’m going to start wearing a badge that says “hug me”. If you are scared of the virus, wear a mask and feel safe. If you are not scared, wear the badge instead. If we are ever going to get back to normal, WE have to be the ones to do it.

Nominated by Paul McCuntley

I have no idea of the rights and wrongs of the case of George Floyd but from the early pictures I have seen the instigators of the riots appear to be white. I have no doubt some oppressed black people will have joined in. Probably for a bit of late night shopping but why are young white fuckers kicking things off? Could it be an excuse for organised, anti Trump bullshit? If so these cunts are far more insidious and destructive than any ghetto inhabitants.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

The Minneapolis Police Department are CUNTS.

Now, I will be the first to admit, that I don’t know all the ins & outs of the George Floyd incident.

I don’t know if he did buy cigarettes with a fake $20 at 20.01

I don’t know if he ‘resisted arrest’ at 20.14

I don’t know why a police officer felt in necessary to draw his handgun, while accompanied by 3 other police officers, whilst detaining one un-armed man suspected of a relatively minor, un-violent crime. – (I know that I would find it strange in the UK, if a team of armed response police officers were needed to arrest someone of passing one note of counterfeit money in a newsagents).

I don’t know why 4 armed police officers felt that one unarmed man, handcuffed, lying face down in the street, represented such a threat to them.

I do know, that people nearby, filmed the police officers conduct, and drew attention to the fact that Mr Floyd was having difficulty breathing.

I do know that officer Derek Chauvin knelt on Mr Floyds neck for 6 minutes, and after being told Mr Floyd was not moving, and another police officer checked Floyd for a pulse & failed to find one, that officer Chauvin knelt on Mr Floyds neck for a further and a half minutes. Officer Chauvin removed his knee at 20.27

I do know that George Floyd, a 46 yr old man, who had buying cigarettes at 8pm, was pronounced Dead, just 90 mintues later.

I do know that The Minneapolis Police Department released a statement regarding Mr Floyds arest, that detailed him being detained, expressing his difficulty breathing, officers calling for medical assistance and Mr Floyd later dying in hospital – no mention of a 20 stone police officer kneeling on his neck for 9 minutes.

I do know that the legitamate peacefull protests, subsequent looting and eventual violent riots, have cost substantially more than $20.

Nominated by Lord of the Rings

Luvvies please stand in front of your makeup mirrors – the ones with the lights all round them – to cheer that hoity-toity-upper-class-twit-of-the-year- pansy , your fellow thespian, Hugh Mavis Grant

Hughie-duckie obviously has designs to follow fellow nancy Eddie Izzard into the oh-so-super world of politics, by sharing his thoughts, such as they are, on the Coronavirus epidemic. I agree not every action the government has taken would have been what I would have suggested, but they are there to govern. Grant is merely there to prove what an arsehole he is.

He might be a minimally talented actor laddie, but I am sure his fellow nob-polishers will assure him “darling, you were wonderful” (years ago perhaps). Now he just looks like Kweer Charmer’s slightly raddled sister.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

apologies to our esteemed contributors for the technical error which was temporarily missed due to a fine Sunday dinner with five bottles of red. Thanks must go to the rightly esteemed honourable member, SIR D.Fiddler, for pointing out this atrocious lapse in administerial duty. The sixth bottle shall be toasted to your wonderful hounds good sir.

Please carry on Cunting, good sirs.