Clap for Nicola (no, seriously)

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“Clap for Nicola”
As The Iron Lady once said, “rejoice! rejoice!”, for July 19th will be a landmark in the history of our proud island. Yes, on that blesséd day, Nicola Sturgeon, SNP leader, First Minister of Scotland and Mother of the Nation, will reach her 50th birthday. Rejoice indeed!
In honour of this momentous occasion, one Siobhan McCann, presumably one of the Beloved Leader’s ardent devotees, has launched a “clap for Nicola” campaign. Yes, at 8pm on the 19th, Ms McCann expects a show of appreciation for Wee Jimmy, which she no doubt believes is owed by all True and Proper Scots. McCann gushes like a true sychophant “our First Minister has done an exceptional job throughout what’s been a strange year so far, to say the least. Let’s have ‘the full regalia’ on Sunday… Get the pipes and pots out for Oor Nicola, and make sure that Westminster hears!”.
Now I think that anyone with half a brain cell can see what’s actually going on here; the twee reference to “Oor Nicola” and the clunky “make sure that Westminster hears” reveal this to be just another cheapo attempt by the SNP to score a political point against the UK government.
Having said that, I’d add that there is something deeply cringeworthy, not to say a bit sinister, a bit North Korean, about the SNP cult of The Leader that’s developing around Wee Jimmy across the border. Did I say “cult”? Actually you could replace the letter “l” with an “n” and it would be equally appropriate.

Nominated by Ron Knee

67 thoughts on “Clap for Nicola (no, seriously)”

  1. Just checked and it’s stated that wee Jimmy has no children.
    At least the gene pool has been spared from that travesty.

    • Dont think wee Nicola likes to toss the caber,
      Think she likes to lick the haggis maybe stick her fingers in a young girls bagpipes.

  2. Siobhan McCann has a tongue of a dark hue I think. Why anybody would waste their time and energy on her suggestion must be off their head. The only thing these deluded people will get out of the EEC is the sea will turn into a marine desert.

  3. Who the fuck is this Siobhan McCann arselicking idiot? I hope she’s not a lezza and has unnatural feelings for Wee Jimmy. I’ve just had my breakfast and have no desire to see it again. 🤮

  4. Clap?

    The sort that needs antibiotic treatment I assume.

    Nah. Tha anti-English racist. She can go whistle.

    • I suspect that I’m not the first person to think that after an initial glance at the ‘Clap for Nicola’ headline to the story.

      • “Clap for Nicola Sturgeon”

        She should’ve padded-up before dining with that last tartan tranny on deep-fried chlamydía.

  6. I took my young daughter to see wee Jimmy and her then partner Alex Salmond when they were in a summer season end of pier show. We clapped her then as she was funny in a music hall sort of fashion. I think they later split up over artistic differences and his dalliances with show girls (allegedly).

    I could not possibly clap for her now

    as dictator of scotchland though as wee Jimmy has become drunk not on iron bru but with power.

    The poor wee lassie.

    • You could be on to something Ed, calling someone a racistist would leave leftie snowflakes not knowing who to agree with.

  9. I’ve taken a massive crap in her honour. Several hours early but that’s the best you’re deserving of ya scootish cunt!

  10. There are rumours abound that Wee Jimmy likes a wee munch on the bean as opposed to running her tongue up the jumbo sausage. It has been said that she bought a house in the Bridge of Allan to share with her French girlfriend.

    Ooh la la!

    • Morning FaceMasky. Is “Bridge of Allan” a lezza euphemism of the gooch?

      “Before munching on her tranny lover’s rug, Nicola gave the bridge of Allan a good tongueing like she was guzzling an IrnBru .”

    • Can’t imagine it would be reciprocated, when you’ve got a quim that resembles a cross between haggis and roadkill. Even whiskey goggles can’t hide you from that.

  11. Did anyone know that Nicola Sturgeon is an anagram of Carolin tongues? Definitely a tuppence licker. I rest my case.

  12. What a shit show devolved governments are.
    They’d be running their countries from a garden shed if the British taxpayer wasn’t funding it all royally.
    Shut the expensive disaster down and shoot any moaning cunts left over.

    • And maybe wee Jimmy can be fisted into an embolism by that french cunt she’s got tucked away.

  13. Her childish attempts at looking clever by holding press conferences on the ‘rona before the U.K. government could make their announcements made her look a cunt to all but her retarded followers. I’m surprised she didn’t enforce the 2.1 metre social distancing rule, therefore giving Scottish cunts an extra 100mm of protection from the nasty virus.
    This is just an observation, not a critique, but why do a lot of lesbians have an appearance that would appeal to so few men their sexuality has saved them from massive disappointment?

  14. Hero worship of politicians you say? Now what 1930s government does that remind me of?

  15. I detest this scheming attention seeking woman. People say she did well in the covid crisis, well thats onley because Boris financialy supported scotland. No offence to the good people of scotland, but i wish Boris would remind her of this.

    Its about time Sturgeon was put on a desert Island with Meg sparkle. I am sure they would both get on fine.

    • To be fair wee Nicola probably has more bottle than Boris and slept with as many women.
      Boris couldnt find his arse with both hands,
      Hes a corona zombie.
      But wee Nicks a bullshitter to match him.
      Both useless cunts.

  16. The Scottish Nazi Party are the result of Labour turning into the Islington Liberation Front and being unelectable outside of darkest Wokedom. It’s a good thing for the UK that Plaid Cymru are such a bunch of misfits and weirdos that Labour clings on in South Wales, or you might get this cult of personality shite there that the Jocks have descended to. Although there never has been a Plaid politician with a personality come to think of it.
    A dose of clap for wee Krankie.

    • It’s funny how ‘personality cult’ leaders have a way of ‘disappearing’ when they fall out of favour with the regime. Alex ‘Big Boy’ Salmond has been airbrushed from SNP history after his recent travails. I’m really looking forward to reading his ‘spill the beans’ memoir on the SNP, who he reckons stitched him up. Could be really entertaining.

  18. Wee Jimmy has done a great job (don’t mention Scottish care homes)

    I will clap when Scotland finally fucks off…

    No more Scottish cunts in Parliament
    No more seeing shit weather forecasts for Scotland, depressing fucking place.
    No more listening to this ginger cunt, the only thing to beat that would be fucking suckdick dangling by is balls over the Thames (with a banner saying diversity is our strength)

  20. You cunts seen the photo of Krankie with her mother? Mother looks like Elton John. Totally weird……

  21. Let’s have joint rendition of ‘are you looking at me, Jimmy’? Along with the head wobble and finally delivering a ‘Glasgow kiss’ headbutt on your nearest neighbour.
    It’s what oor Nicola would want bless her.

  22. I can’t wait for the Movie to be released . . . . . . .
    LEGOHEAD – The lurid life of a Lesbian Louche.

  23. Perhaps all she needs is a jolly good old fashioned rogering with some Anglo Saxon sausage. Have to say I’m not the man for the job though, any volunteers?

  24. What a snivelling little brown nosing cunt.

    I predict others will have the daggers out for her now. Nobody likes an arse kisser.

    • Defund Scotland – Sturgeon and the rest of the fishy lot at the Scottish N*zi Party would be out on their ear very quickly after the inevitable cuts and tax rises.
      Which the SNP would of course immediately blame on the auld enemy.
      We are entering a period of economic turmoil unlike any in our lives, and we need to seriously reconsider giving blank cheques to “home” Nations who will not pay their way.

  25. And before I go further…yes I would, and have said so many times on this site.
    I have several perversions, and Scotlands First Minister is one of them.
    If wee Nikki is to receive the clap on Thursday of this week, then unfortunately it will not be by me. I have a family room booked for a special Dinner. (That date being the end of my Section Order )

    • Sturgeon looks like her head is inflated and painted every morning, but to my shame she has a very fine little arse and I would (best view of her, and as you can probably tell the busty blonde at my local Home Bargains is having none! 😄)

      • Takes all sorts guys. Of the female politicos, Marine Le Pen gives me the horn like nobody’s business.

  26. Don’t forget folks, only an hour and a half left til “Crap for Nicola” I’ve been consuming baked beans and castor oil all day in preparation. Hoping I can produce a great big steaming cable of a turd as a mark of respect for this fine politician.

  27. Everyone should come outside and shout Fandabbydozy just to mug the poison dwarf off

  29. The SNP really does worry me.

    Nationalist and socialist.
    Bleating on about the horrendous racism and whiteness of public office while in Parliament (i was genuinely disturbed by that).

    Now this.

    Kim Jong Un and North Korea should not be examples,!

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