A 62yr old woman from Scarborough,
Susan Johnson attended her local hospital for a routine scan.

On booking in Susan was told much to her consternation that she was in fact,…dead.

This came as some shock to Susan,
And she thought maybe it’d be best to seek a second opinion.

She contacted her GP who on looking into the matter and using state of the art medical science concluded that Susan wasn’t dead.

When it came to convincing the benefits department who had stopped her benefits she struggled to prove she was alive.

But now it appears to just have been a admin error and Susan is much happier to have her benefits reinstated and to know shes alive.

Poor Susan.
Bet she couldn’t sleep wondering if she was dead?

There should be a helpline you can phone to ask if your dead.

I’ve still got my doubts about Susan R.I.P

bbcnews

Nominated by Miserable northern cunt.

and some ugly bitch who I think is trying for a pay day.

One of my major moans. I don’t drive, but I sit in cars, and by all the Holy, pun intended, maybe they’ll make a road out of this fucking ploughed field soon.

In Sheffield, it was announced that they had x £m pounds to spend, not only to fix the roads, but the footpaths too.

I’ll ask OC, potholes fixed?
Other Sheffield folk? Bob Frapples, I think you’re one of the elite on here?

Now, here’s Mark, bless his cotton socks, trying to make a difference.

GB news

Can I just add, that if Rebecca Salisbury hadn’t been strolling, with her airpods in and glued to TikShit, she might have noticed the damaged footpath, and avoided it.
Also, she says she just wanted to get some money back for taxis? If they’d have given you £10, it would be admitting liability. Sue them. See how that works.

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

(Wearing shades, trying to look cool-with-da-kids, innit – Day Admin)

UB40 are cunts, aren’t they!

I’ve just heard these talentless turds are making a comeback to inflict more dreary bum gravy for our ears.

What could be worse than a bunch of dreadlock’d Hash Brownies playing that dull, bass-heavy chukka chukka reggae? That’s right: Hònkeys doing it.

Whether it’s doing shitty covers of classics (Falling in Love with You, Red Red Wine, Many Rivers To Cross), whining about being unemployed or shouting about”old Faatcher”, these lumpy Brummie shitbiscuits took the piss with how dire they were. Repeating “Der’s a ra’ in me kitchin wot am ah gonna doo” in a pretend Jamaican accent should have been enough to put them in prison.

It’s amazing to think there are TWO breath-taking cunts called Al/Ali Campbell in the world. One’s the Remoaner who gave Blair stress-relieving hand jobs and the other’s the zombie who sings like an amputee for these tedious drab cabbages.

Reggae is for cunts. However, this monotonous dirge is even worse. It’s not even for wîggers. It’s music for people who loathe music.

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

is a cunt.

I think the link speaks for itself. Terry’s oven is required for all who were involved in this heinous brutality. The fact that shit like this is STILL being allowed to happen, however, is a national disgrace.

Everyone talks about BLM but nobody EVER mentions the challenges, abuse and discrimination that many disabled people face on a daily basis. As I’ve mentioned on here before my brother has severe autism, and he’s been treated like a second class citizen in his own country at various points – including by his school when he was there. As horrific as the Whitefield abuse is there will be many other cases out there which we don’t know about.

bbcnews

Nominated by Opinionated Cunt.

I’ve always liked long flowing hair on birds.
Jane Seymour ?
Kate Bush?

It’s attractive.

Nowadays some women have short hair, like lads.
It’s okay if it’s for medical reasons or if your a fish supper,
But it’s not really attractive.

More alarming is birds shaving their nut bald!!
Sinead O’Connor started this but she was a bit mental.

Nowadays a lot of black birds are doing it,
The Hot Chocolate look.

Modern day saint Doreen Lawrence is one to rock the Malteser look.

She was going bald anyway to be fair
Like a well worn fuzzy felt.

But why don’t they just wear a woolly hat?
Or a Beatles wig like Di Abbott?
They’re giving in too easily.

I don’t like perms either.

Sort yourselves out women you look a right fuckin mess.

You sexy thang!!

Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt