I’m nominating the Royal Mail. In particular I’m nominating my new postman. Until two years ago, I had a great postman. He had Asperger Syndrome, but he was brilliant. He delivered the mail in good time every day, and it was in excellent condition. Then he was replaced by a female postie. She was pretty decent at the job. Not as good as her predecessor, but she did a good job.
Two weeks ago, she was replaced by a new postie. And he’s a cunt. Sometimes the mail arrives in the morning, sometimes it arrives at midday, sometimes in the early afternoon. Twice so far, it’s turned up at 6pm. After a recent downpour, I came home to find TWO letters, that were so wet, they fell apart when I tried to open them. I may have mentioned that I’m archer. On Monday, I ordered a piece of equipment called a bow square. It’s basically a ruler, and is used for various measurements. Anyway, my bow square arrived today. Shoved through the letterbox with such force, the dumb cunt bent it.
I collared the twat, only to be given a shrug of his apelike shoulders, and the mumbled words, ‘I’m just doing me job mate”. Well no, fuckwit, you’re not ‘just doing your job”, because you’re job is not simply to put letters and parcels through letterboxes, it’s also to ensure that the mail you deliver is the same GOOD FUCKING CONDITION that it was despatched in.
I went to this numbnuts’ sorting office and complained to the manager, who made it clear he couldn’t give a fuck. So now I’m taking it further. The Royal Mail is SHITE. I used to be against privatisation. Now I look forward to the day when we can choose which postal service we use. Because if the Royal Mail can’t even be bothered to look after the letters and parcels that we place in their ‘care’, then they don’t deserve a monopoly.
Incidentally, one of the two letters was regarding a hospital appointment, and the other contained my car insurance docs. I had to phone the fucking hospital to find out when my appointment was, and I’ve had to ask Aviva to send my copies of the documents. If this shite ‘service’ continues, I’m afraid I’m going to be punching this fucker’s lights out.
Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw
