The French

kermit and miss piggy in paris

The French are complete cunts, and so are the migrant scum that inhabit the so-called Calais Jungle… The fact is that every single inhabitant of the Calais Jungle has passed through several safe countries…. None of them should ever be allowed into the UK…..

And as for those garlic chewing surrender monkey frog fuckers, trying to blackmail Blighty into staying in the EU by saying ‘Stay in the EU, or we’ll flood the UK with migrants…’
Well. fuck the French cunts… Let’s just bomb the bastards and take Calais with it… As old Henry V would say, ‘Lets’ get the smelly frog cunts!’

Nominated by: Norman

The M4

37588063_m4_245575c

The M4 is a cunt,

If you live in Bristol and London or travel between the two or for whatever reason you use the M4 it is a boring fucking journey, especially when you have driven it a thousand times like me. They are always up to some fucking crap like adding an extra lane here or there, or closing two lanes and slowing you down to 50mph when there is no cunt working. Then there are those massive digital signs on the road side telling you to go 50, 40, or even 30mph!

Then they say ‘Congestion’, well of course there is you stupid cunts, if you slow every cunt down there will be congestion. They always seem to be doing ‘works’ on certain sections overtime Im driving on it. By the time they finish all this work the road will need re surfacing and they will be closing lanes down again. The cunts.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Simon Schama

simon schama

Having suffered the obsequious twat, Simon Schama, on Question Time flapping around like a twatting windmill and getting really pissed off it’s high time this nutter got cunted.

His idea of history is incredulous and he always speaks as though he’s just come out of the dentist. And the fucker earns his living in the states so how come he feels it’s his jehovah given right to pontificate on British history. He needs a real good trashing.

And to top it all the Beeb has the audacity to give the twat a series on civilisation with the aptly named Mary Beard and some other git.

Nominated by: Arsebiscuit

Kate Smurthwaite [2]

Kate Smurthwaite, Nick Cohen

Kate Smurthwaite is a unfunny feminist cunt who has a sense of huge entitlement and is the archetypal rude aggressive dismissive patronising BBC liberal elitist harpy who gives feminists the labels they get. But of course that is mens fault for not wanting to tolerate being walked over by women!

Anyhow I had the misfortune of reading an article she put in a near Trotskyite magazine called the new Internationalist entitled “Doing grief properly”. First of all the assertion that there is a right way for someone to grieve is entirely subjective therefore indicating this article is not going to be based on logic. Well guess what? It isn`t. She basically complains about having to stop during her aerobics class for a minutes silence in the wake of the Paris attacks. Look most of the country participated out of common decency and really is taking one minute out of your day to acknowledge a dark moment in the continents history really so cataclysmic or taxing?

Well, according to her, it is hypocritical and symptomatic of a media “whitewash” which means that as a society we put more emphasis on what happened in France than we would if it was in Africa! Well no shit Sherlock. If a tragedy happens nearer to you especially when you are acutely aware that you are at the same level of risk it is going to affect you more. If say you live on a street and someone the other side whom you do not know gets shot dead it is tragic yes but if there is no threat of you being similarly targeted you will pay less attention to the event.

If, however, your next door neighbour who you knew for some time was shot dead by a group threatening your family also it would be big news to you! But no it is this theory that we value people purely on race and ethnicity .Well what about the Muslim police officer who got shot during the Charlie Hebdo attacks? Are you saying that we weren`t doing the minute silence for him last time there was a minute`s silence in January.

And were all the victims of the Paris November attacks white – because I highly doubt it? Because that is what she is suggesting.

I will finish this rant by a quote about what we should do instead of observing silence for the victims of terrorism according to this harpie cunt:

Instead let`s tear the “defence” industry down brick by brick.Let`s chase down every hypocritical politician and demand they answer our questions and face the truth.Let`s chain ourselves to every set of railings,blockade every weapons convoy,disrupt every arms fair.And demand every innocent family fleeing war and violence is welcomed with open-human-arms and treated with respect

She also described the minutes silence as indicative of something “being pathologically wrong with you” if you only do that and not follow her advice as stated above.

What a sanctimonious delusional cunt. Let us grieve for victims of terrorism by getting rid of our defences and allowing anyone into this country some of whom may well be terrorists causing more innocent civilian deaths on our street. Fucking hell. Where her parents brother and sister???

I think we can all agree that she is one of the biggest cunts with a media profile. She claims people don`t find her funny because she is a woman. No dear it is because you are as funny as a burst colostomy bag on a 24 hour flight not because you have a vagina.

Nominated by: Shaun of the Dead 69

Dead Pool [32]

Martin Crowe, former New Zealand cricketer

After one of the longest running Dead Pools I can remember, now we have one of the shortest – running only since 22nd February…

Congratulations to Richard Debo Debson who bags his third Dead Pool title by bagging former New Zealand cricketer, Martin Crowe who lost his battle with cancer. Tears no doubt being shed in the Flaxen Saxon household this morning seeing as how Flaxen is such a huge cricket fan!

Well done, Debo. That’s three out of the last five and another one towards the target of five held by Dioclese (me). Clearly I going to have to pull my socks up.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 32.

A reminder of the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.