Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Julian Assange [3]

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Julian Assange is a 100 megaton trolling cunt. For weeks the tall pale spaz has been saying that he will be releasing evidence that will put Killary Kiloton behind bars. Last night he had the perfect opportunity while appearing in a video link to commemorate the 10th anniversary of Wikileaks.

And did he drop the bomb? Did he fuck! He mumbled almost incoherently at very great length but finished up saying fuck all. And what he did say sounded like he was speaking from a very big karzi at the bottom of a very deep well. You would have thought he would have a decent microphone, wouldn’t you?

It’s obvious the evil one has got to him, offered him a pardon and a chance to get his life back if he shuts the fuck up. Do you really think you can trust the evil old witch, Julian? If you do you must be a bigger plank than you look. Cunt.

Nominated by: Skidmark Eggfart

Bradley Wiggins

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May I humbly suggest we cunt Bradley Wiggins.

Turns out the cunt has taken drugs ‘for a medical condition. ‘ The condition is known as ‘pedallus slowus’ and the cunt is protesting like mad about his innocence, despite a doctor saying he has no idea why he took the drug.

Will the cunt be stripped of his ridiculous knighthood and worse heavily cunted on here together with the cunt who suggested knighting the cunt?

Plus he looks and talks like a cunt.

Nominated by: Trouserbulge

The Gastro Pub

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The Gastro Pub is a cunt.

A pub is where I want to drink and a restaurant is where I want to eat. Obviously you expect a pie etc to be sold on a pub for cunts to soak up the alcohol and drinks to be sold in restaurants so cunts can match the wine with their food. What pisses me off is the ‘Foodie’ pubs where a fucking burger costs £16, because it’s hand made with meat from a cow called cunt who loved a mile away and is local. I support animal welfare and prefer quality well looked after meat but don’t rip people off.

How many of your beers are local you cunts and aren’t flown or shipped in, and how many of the cunts working there are local? We’ll have milk for a tenner a pint because some celebrity bitch sucked it out of the cow herself. The cunts.

Nominated by: Black and White cunt

Kate Smurthwaite [3]

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I would like to nominate Kate Smurthwaite for a cunting.

Yet another snowflake, SJW cunt banging on about letting in every cunt under the sun in whether they look like a child or not.

But don’t take my word for it here’s her bullshit from the ‘This Morning’ programme:

She was the only cunt there who thought the fogie in the picture was a child. Eamon Holmes and Nick Ferrari are both sat their shaking their heads (in a “what the fuck is this one taking in her camomile tea?” manner) knowing that Stevie Wonder, David Blunkett and Lenny Peters could all see that this cunt is in his 40’s at least.

Here a few points you may wish to mull over Kate:

1. He’s late 30’s at the very least. You claim this is because of his “hard paper round” (to get here) which apparently ages people. (please see 3 below).

2. None of the cunts – “children” or otherwise – coming from the Calais Jungle are refugees, they are economic migrants. As soon as a refugee leaves the first safe country they destinated as a refugee – in order to better their lot – they become an economic migrant, FACT! Greece is safe, Turkey is safe, Italy is safe and France is safe. So why the need to come all the way to the UK then?

3. At one point you state that you are 40. Well if a “hard paper round” ages people then the reverse must be true. I had you down as late 20’s/early 30’s. Ordinarily that would be a huge compliment but – based on your own ageing principle – it merely means that you’ve never struck a bat or done an honest day’s work in your life.

4. Your bio states that you are a stand up comedian, political activist and radical feminist which is basically snowflake speak for professional bullshitter. Luckily – until today – I’d never heard of you.

5. You did have a real job working for the greedy banking establishment, which is probably how you’re minted now and are able to piss your time away on causes which do not concern you, or your privileged life. (please note that this does not contradict 3 above as I stated “honest day’s work”).

6. If they all come over here you know full well they won’t be coming to an ivory tower near you any time soon, and if they did you’d probably sign the eviction petition run by your neighbours (just so long as they don’t mention you by name).

7. You are a cunt!

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

Recruitment agencies

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I am going to cunt recruitment agencies

Firstly when you go on any job search you will find loads of adverts for jobs that don’t actually exist they are “non existent, we are hoping to have a suitable candidate in our portfolio should a client approach us with a job position that needs filling”

Annoyingly they are also allowed to advertise these “non existent” jobs in the pits of misery we refer too as “job centres”. I had the misfortune to “qualify” for “job club” once, a place where you are herded into a classroom and spoken down too by some space cadet.

Our space cadet unfortunately bit off a it more than she could chew after lecturing us on the “wealth” of jobs they had to offer and the fact we were not trying. Unfortunately one of the other chaps on detention with me was the former husband of the local Reeds recruitment agency, he put the space cadet right in here place and explained portfolios of agency’s and the fact that as a good 80% of the jobs offered in the centre did not exist, which is actually rather annoying

Now my second part, I like to believe in internal progression in a business, it encourages staff and gives them hopes and aspirations thinking that one day that they too may get the company car and a decent wage.

And then comes along the Agency with the perfect qualifications, snips the job and you then start to discover that despite being very affable they are totally unprepared, untrained and actually have very little idea what they are supposed to be doing.

A manager is their to get people to do their job, not do it for them but the minimum qualification is that they know what the employee should be doing and steer them in the right direction…………….Not try and do it their way and fuck up the whole system!

Nominated by: Lord Benny