Ian Hislop (3)

Posted on August 4, 2017 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Hislop Baby

Hislop and ‘The Wipers Times’

Settled doine in front orf telly with a nice single malt to pay me respects to the memory orf the fallen in the battle with the greatest carnage count in WW1. Indeed Passchendaele remains unsurpassed to this day. Then up pops the slap head cunt Hislop to do a promo on his crappy play ‘The Wipers Times’ (for those cunters ignorent “Wipers” was what British troops called Ypres). Amidst the mud and gas our brave lads took to publishing a newspaper to generally take the piss and boost morale. According to Hislop it was very funny in an anarchic British way, a sort orf ISAC for the trenches. Some orf it was then staged in front orf Ypres Town Hall for assembled dignitaries and public. Went doine like a lead balloon or indeed like shrapnel in the groin before the watching millions ont telly.

The bint doing the commentary went orn to mark our cards with further plugs for Hislop’s shite with the warning that it would shortly be touring to a theatre near you. If Hislop believes himself to be a writer orf dramatic worth then sadly he is delusional. No help to him that a section of the infinitely superior ‘War Horse’ was also performed but to great acclaim. Perhaps Mr Hislop should consider a modification orf his title to the ‘Wipe Arse Times’. Then his poor public will be better prepared.

From Our Drama Critic, Sir Limply Stoke

The Queen (2)

Posted on August 3, 2017 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Queen Elizabeth the Second needs a Cunting.

The lazy old trout is, apparently, planning on taking on far less “Official Duties”. At the age of 91, courtiers believe that she has done her share,and it’s time for the younger royals to step up…. What utter bollocks. I’ve little doubt that I could work into my nineties if all my work consisted of was being ferried around in a Rolls Royce, cutting the odd ribbon, nibbling on a cucumber sandwich and then being whisked off to the races.

She is also responsible for breeding the most dysfunctional family since the Sawney Bean clan were in their pomp. Charles is a selfish arrogant fool. Edward a queer, Andrew a bumptious oaf. Anne,however,is O.K.

Her grandchild William already takes after his father…too stupid to realise that people have had enough of the inbred spongers. I won’t mention that dolt, Harry, because she isn’t related to the half-a-brain waster. Fuck me, even those weird looking great-grandchildren are already showing the Windsor traits of over-indulged,self-important arrogance that Her Majesty has bred through her offspring.

No doubt when the old Kraut finally does the decent thing and gives the taxpayer a bit of relief from having to support her and her indolent tribe,the nation will be expected to go into some grief-fest about the old bag…Not me, although I will raise a glass a woman who managed to con an entire nation into believing that she was some benevolent force who only wanted what was best for the country…She only ever wanted the best for herself and her sponging family.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler.

Joanna Rowling (6)

Posted on August 2, 2017 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Rent-a-gob celebrity has been all the rage for some time. Recently, it has become derigeur amongst the millionaire class of Hollywood and the arts world, collectively aligned against the Tango Man.

Over the past few days J Kunt Growling has waded into another Twatter spat against him.

She accused him of ignoring a three year old disabled boy called Monty at an event. She stated on Twatter he could not “bring himself to shake the hand of a small boy who only wanted to touch the President.” She wrote the display was “stunning” and “horrible,” calling the president a “monster of narcissism” in a series of seven tweets. She spewed forward a tirade of abuse against him.

Here is the rub. It turned out she was WRONG and The Donald had in fact interacted with Monty.

So after facing a Twatter and social meejah backlash she apologised to Monty and his family. Good you may think. However, she did NOT apologise to the Tango Man. She only deleted the tweets after the storm of condemnation.

This sanctimonious storyteller does not have the manners and decency to apologise to the subject of her criticism and abuse. She cannot bring herself to undertake a simple act of contrition. Her tweets of lies and abuse were re-tweeted 75,000 times by her followers.

I wonder what ‘Jack’ ( or whatever he/she is called this week) Monroe thinks of gobby Growling’s behaviour? After all ‘Jack’ sued Katie Hopkins for a mistaken tweet meant for someone else. Here we have J Kunt defaming the President of the US of A, without any justification and still has (and does) not apologise to him.

This is what we have come to expect from a woman who holds the warmongering and crooked Killary Kiloton in such high esteem. She is also a Barry Obummer groupie. Additionally, her great wisdom of all things political is shown by her sycophantic love of the EU.

She applies to geopolitics her simplistic knowledge of who and what she THINKS are good and evil from her childish books. She should stick to writing mind-numbing fairytales and leave politics and real world issues to the grown-ups. Living in a world of fantasy and fiction, so it would seem, she doesn’t need to let facts get in the way of a (fake) story.

I have just one question for J Kunt. Who is the narcissist in this true life story? I recommend she looks in the mirror for the answer.

Nominated by Mike Oxard.

Philip Hammond (4)

Posted on August 1, 2017 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

I think Philip Hammond -(tiny) Organ must be cunted urgently. I can’t stand Treesa, but if this dodgy wide-boy (and nb the quiff) makes a bid for No. 10, I hope he gets it hard in the nuts, a la Heseltine