James Corden [7]


You can’t let that fat cunt Corden get away without an RV sized cunting after the Grammys last week.

He’s got more chins than a Chinese telephone book, strains the strength of the cotton holding on his shirt buttons to the limit and proves that, even if you’ve got no talent, there’s space for you on the TV (Although you need a giant screen for this porker)

It’s a fucking mystery to me how they haven’t given him the chop like they did with that other arsehole Morgan ( but at least Morgan is smart). The only reason I can think of is that he’s got some very valuable videos, in a secure safe, of the big shots ordering their assistants ( male or female) to give them a blow job.

On the positive side he gives hope to all the bingo callers at the Saturday Night Legion shows. Truly a mistake in the cosmos of things

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker

Hosted by James Cordon (non-US citizen, like John Oliver, Travor Noah, Samantha Bee, Lorne Michaels…) somehow bestowed with permanent green card, welcomed to prosper in the U.S., having been ignored in his own country (where he could not make a penny) due to his own lack of talent.

Being preach to by Bono about Dreamers (criminal trespassers) in a country he is not a citizen of.

Why the CDC allows The Edge to enter since the 80’s I’ll never understand. This morning the self absorbed delusion is always forever. Lowest rating ever? Nah…Not in James’ mind

Nominated by Grammys top cunt

Brexit 2, the sequel


Have you noticed recently in the news talk of a second referendum? Not an in/out one like before but our gracious masters might allow the plebs to vote on the terms of the Brexit deal.

So here is the stitch up isn’t it. We all know the establishment, big business and the EU don’t want the UK to leave and give up the gravy train so what a prime opportunity to go back to the people and ramp up project fear mark 2.

So Maybot and here clowns in cahoots with the EU deliberately negotiate a total clusterfuck of a deal, or better still for them no deal at all, and announce a vote on it. There is no way a mutually beneficial deal will be reached as the spicks, wops, bubbles and flatheads will all be up in arms given all the shit they have had to swallow from Brussels. When will the flatheads learn anyway? After escaping a communist dictatorship then proceed to readily sign up to another, fucking morons.

So there we have it, project fear 2. And guess what, all the remoaning cunts, media, government swing into action telling us that we will face a nuclear winter that will last decades the UK beset by economic woes sending the towns and cities into chaos full of jobless emaciated people living on piles of rubble and having to queue up at soup kitchens as there is no food left. A future that will make Bartertown look like a Cotswold village fete.

Oh, and of course, summarise with all the really important things that really matter to people like your foreign holiday will cost a little more and you might have to queue at passport control in EU land for half an hour once or twice a year, you know the things that really matter to the common folk.

No mention of the possibilities for the UK to flourish outside of the EU straitjacket, of course not, it is not in their plan to tell us how good it could be.

I can see it coming, I never thought the UK will be allowed to leave and this second referendum is the perfect way to get project fear right and ensure a no vote to the deal and the UK stays in after all. Doubt if I would even get odds from Ladbrokes on the UK not leaving the EU, its a dead cert in my book.

Fucking cunts.

Nominated by Dick Byrne

If it was a choice between
1. Bad Deal.
2. No Deal (WTO).
I believe No Deal (WTO) would win by a mile. And the establishment wouldn’t risk that. Once bitten, twice shy.

Of course they’d like the ballot paper to read:
1. Bad Deal.
2. Remain.
But the Brexiteers would never let them get away with that. If they did, we’d deserve to go to hell anyway.

Nominated by Shitcake Baker

So – surprise surprise – we need a second Brexit referendum.

Not really a surprise as the Fourth Reich used this tactic in Norway and Sturgeon is trying it in Jockland. All referenda are reversible and can be subject to a further referendum unless you get the answer you want, in which can it’s irreversible.

Simples…

Nominated by Jean Claude Drunker

Nigel Farage (2)


In all this crazy world let us not forget the strange Twilight Zone vanishing of Nigel Farage. Not so long ago he was smirking to camera and proclaiming that he was not going anywhere and would remain in politics to ensure Brexit means Brexit. Well it’s gone dahn the khazi and UKIP are playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun yet still not a tweet or a squeak from the cunt. Will continue as a member of the EU Parliament to draw his massive pay and perks and maximise his enormous pension but lead a new charge against the Remainers as promised? Nah, can’t be arsed.

Don’t suppose the condition in his T&Cs re withdrawal of pension rights if he is judged to have brought the EU into disrepute (ie calling them cunts and tossers) has anything to do with Farage going stumm at this time orf crisis?

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

Twitter [4]

Twitter deserves a massive cunting. Just went on it to see who Katie Hopkins has outraged/upset/offended etc today and, on the right of the screen, Twitter has suggested I follow these cunts:

Alan Carr
James Corden
Jack Whitehall

It’s not often James Corden is the least headbuttable person in any list.

Fucking Twitter.

Nominated by Galted Asas

Elton John (6)


The fat glutinous baroque cunt has just received “an award for raising awareness of human rights issues at the World Economic Forum (WEF) in Davos.”

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/davos-2018-elton-john-blasts-disgraceful-inequalty-as-he-picks-up-crystal-award-for-human-rights-a3746871.html

“John urged delegates at Davos to work on improving the state of the world. He said: “The world needs to be changed – the inequality in the world is, to be honest, disgraceful.”

The musician, who is believed to be worth almost £300m, said he became a philanthropist because he had “lost who he had become” and “wanted to be a decent person”.”

Well good for you, Elton. Philanthropy, now. You gave £26.8M to charity last year: your annual income being not too distant from $200M US. Most of your donation went to your own HIV/AIDS charity, which, worthy as its objectives are, is nothing to do with general economic inequality. Economic inequality consists of a few people having £300M in the bank and a cheque to bearer every time they open their mouths, while large numbers of people have fuck-all, mitigated if they are lucky by their tiny share of your donation, less exes.

Davos doesn’t change this. Being at Davos doesn’t change this. Davos is 100% about making sure that the position remains unchanged, in fact. Nobody poor is allowed in. Predatory capitalism is the unchallenged ethic, and its perpetuation the only reason for the attendance of the world’s corrupt leaders, overpaid CEOs and crooked moneymen. Fuck off, Elton. You’ve just validated the system you’re bleating about.

And even if you hadn’t, you’d still be a cunt. Fucking stupid glasses, earrings, and – what the fuck is this? An RAF tie? You weren’t in the mob, Elton. What would your dad, Stanley, ex-RAF flight-lieutenant, have to say about that? He didn’t like your music, either. Walt (er Mitty) cunt, or cunt with daddy issues?

More would be superfluous (see previous cuntings). I rest my case. For now. Cunt.

Nominates by Komodo