James O’Brien (5)

Our fuzzy faced faux-friend of the people, James O’Blarney has excelled himself in maths post-budget.

Continuing his long running radio show, with a daily dose of Brexit bashing, he was left a bit confused how right-wing (doublespeak for ‘fascist’) press (aka Daily Fail, Torygraph etc) have forgiven the Chancellor Phil Hand-me-down for a past litany of political land mines. All because he set aside 3 billion squids for a Brexit ‘no deal’.

James doesn’t understand why this is a cause for celebration and said the following which I quote:

“What did Philip Hammond do yesterday to get right-wing newspapers onside?         Answer – he put aside £3bn for the possibility of a no deal Brexit, something upon which everybody with an informed opinion agrees is going to be a disaster.” 

He then went on to say…

You could today be forgiven for thinking that you’ve woken up in a parallel universe, £3bn.”

…and this further gem…

“You can stick this on a t-shirt if you want or even the side of a bus, why can’t we take the money that we’re spending on Brexit, and give it all to the NHS?”

Whoa …..hold yer horses Einstein O’Brien.  A £3 billion contingency cost plus WTO tariff rules if no deal is reached. According to the head of WTO is a 5 billion cost to UK exporters and 9 billion charged to importers. Net 4 billion ‘profit’ for the Treasury. Ignore the 9 billion since the Treasury will probably pay it back to consumers anyway. So that’s a cost of 3 billion contingency plus 5 billion to the exporters. A total cost of 8 billion to the Government. That sounds like a bargain  even if it ends up costing a few billion more than that. Better than the 40 to 100 billion the EU is currently demanding with menaces.

O’Blarney must have been in the retard (sorry..remedial) maths class at his private school if he thinks 40 billion plus pounds is a preferable option. Remember cunters, J.O.B is the one with an “informed opinion”.  However, contrary to his grandiose self belief, his nous is looking a bit tatty around the edges, in fact,  it looks positively threadbare like his barnet these days…all that head scratching post-Brexit maybe? Plebs, thickos, racists….voted leave….how?… why? …

He should be doing a little Oirish jig, since the country he claims to love, will be saved from any further rack and ruin by the Dick Turpins of the EU –  if Mavis May does not fold like a cheap suit – to their highway robbery.

Everyday, post-referendum has been an opportunity for him to pollute the airwaves, bitching like a two bob whore who got short-changed by a punter. In his ideological world, he’s still in his student days at the LSE debating society where if he repeated himself often enough he got to be have his way. He has honed that skill since those days to always having the last snidey word on the radio. All ‘”ifs” and “buts” interjected like rapid machine gun fire to cut down all dissenting callers voices. A smug, holier than thou, know it all.

On Brexit, the economic price is irrelevant to him, just so long as we stay a prize hostage to the bandits of the corrupt EU. As for living in a parallel universe, he is firmly stuck in a Noel Edmond’s-esque world where any ‘Deal’ is better than ‘No deal’, even if the box Britain gets handed by the EU bankers at the end is as empty as Junker the drunker’s wine cellar after he has pulled an all nighter.

O’Blarney’s   ‘informed opinion’ …fuck it….who needs it?

Nominated by Mike Oxard.

Silly job titles

Silly job titles are due a good cunting.

For instance, “Customer Service Executives” are not rich old executive codgers in a corner office doing themselves in the arse all day with a fountain pen. They are of course the minimum wage plebs who ensure we receive the universally rotten standards of customer service that we have become accustomed to.

Noninated by Junior Emergency Cunting Operative

Royal Wedding Cuntery

An emergency pre-emptive cunting for all the inevitable media coverage of the impending Royal Wedding bullshit – the endless fucking documentaries about the pair of them, the endless tabloid headlines gormlessly incorporating the phrase “A Right Royal”, the endless “What would Diana have thought?” opinion pieces by professional Royal rentagobs, and the endless quantities of wedding-themed tat which looks like it’s been designed specifically to adorn pikey caravans. How about a commemorative gold coin too? Yours for £99.99 and legal tender in Guernsey (worth a fiver). And wall-to-wall Nicholas Fucking Witchell too, intoning his pompous commentaries – “Invited they were, and come they did” – as though it’s the fucking death of Churchill and not simply the spare heir getting hitched to some yankee actress. The only people to benefit from this announcement are Theresa May and her shit show of cunts fucking up Brexit as the media lens won’t now be focused on their excruciating cuntitude on an hourly basis. I’m struggling to think of any positives about this – possibly the opportunity to see that hefty porcine daughter of Prince Andrew making “A Right Royal” cunt of herself in another of those daft hats?

Nominated by Fred West

Clareynce Arse has just announced that Prince Hairy is to marry Miss Marple-Merkel.

What a pair of twats. Months of arse-licking ahead from Al-Beeb’s specially-trained squadron of royal obsequials… Projectile vomiting seriously on the cards (and the ceiling, walls, and carpet…).

Victoria Derbyshire going stupidly gooey over the no-news this morning. Stlly cunt.

Sarah Lancashire is much,much hotter…

Nominated by HBelindaHubbard

I’m indifferent to the royals but what boils my piss is the news and the media wanking furiously over such things. ITV have just had an emergency news bulletin to confirm the Clarence House announcement.

A disgusting use of the news, imo. What the fuck is so urgently newsworthy about a ginger marrying a mulatto that warrants such a bulletin?

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

I nominate the engagement of that talentless Spam social climber Meghan fucking Markle and The Ginger Spawn of Hewitt (alleged ;)) for a cunting of Imperial magnitude. In fact, while we’re on topic here, can we also tar, feather and cunt the puppet mainstream media, for their sycophantic, relentless coverage of said ‘news’? If I have to endure one more gratuitous, simpering mention of this none event by simple Twatter mongs, the sheeple or grinning idiot, fuckwit presenters my TV is getting booted in! The force feeding has saturated the internet and snowflake media like the colossal load of ejaculate it actually is. There is no escape.

The favourable publicity brainwashing drive of The Establishment is in full force. Idiots getting all wild eyed, over stimulated and sentimental over the aristocracy and celebs, who in reality wouldn’t piss on these ‘plebs’ if they were on fire. This is after all, yet another exclusive event by and for the elitist ‘haves’, which will be paid for by their ‘have not’ subjects. The way the bovine, OK magazine addicted, bottom feeding morons were slavering about how ‘Diana would be sooo proud and approve’ is galling and sickening. These unthinking, Royal and celeb cunt struck, bum felchers were going on as if they were going to get invites as members of the family. Fucks sake, they HATE you all and think you are contemptible, tax paying, Civil List topping up CUNTS! Fucking wake up, realise this is of no benefit to the working or middle class and ask the real question: How much is this going to cost?

That smug silver spooned, entitled bastard, Media Whore Markle and their inbred posh cunt toadies are literally laughing all the way to the bank. Needless to say, this cunt will be booking a trip to darkest Peru ?? on the lead up to and actual, inevitable wedding. It’s the only way to escape the shitstorm.

Nominated by See You Next Tuesday

Christmas adverts on TV

Christmas adverts on TV. Simply cannot cope with them. Non stop.

The usual suspects.

Shit plastic toys, all from as little as £59.99 (batteries not included). In order to appeal to everyone, the kids in the adverts must include a white, black and Asian model. No peacefuls yet but only a matter of time.
French nonsense perfumes/aftershave ads (all with accompanying stupid French accent and models depicting the perception of the high life).
Budget sofas (what is it obout the obsession with cheap fucking sofas and bank holidays), if you order now delivery guaranteed before Christmas, plus interest free credit and nothing to pay for 6 months.
Supermarket adverts with everyone grinning like imbeciles and wearing stupid hats.
Argos shitfest (whoever buys any of their stuff in Argos)?
Cadbury’s (total cunts for completely destroying many years of UK chocolate tradition and turning it into “new improved recipe” US fun sized different shaped crap but at same price) Milk Tray
The “highlight” being the rather predictable pathetic overhyped and usually disappointing John Lewis Christmas offering.

Have probably missed a few these are the ones that piss me off the most.

Have never understood why advertisers feel that any adverts on tv at Christmas (or any other time come to think of it) seriously influence the watching audience, Can honestly say than in my 58 years on this planet I have never once been tempted to purchase any products advertised on the tv. Figures will probably prove me wrong and that many gullible twats who are taken in by commercial will think of nothing better than to buy loads of stuff on credit that they do not need. I feel Christmas adverts as nothing more than a major irritant and deserve to be cunted.

Nominated by Willie Stroker

What about that fucking Park advert, eh? Save now for Christmas 2018. 2018 FFS! It’s November 2017 and we haven’t even had this years retail fest yet.

Park are cunts. And don’t get me started on fucking Black Friday.

Black Friday’? Isn’t that racist?

Nominated by Dioclese

I know this comes up every year but for fucks sake. Christmas adverts, There has been a definate upping of the pace this week and it’s only fucking early November just fuck off with your cliche’d ‘perfect Christmas’. It just can’t live up to the hype, it’s bound to be an anti-climax especially after they’ve been banging on about it for nearly 2 fuckin munfs. Do something useful in Parliament, Introduce a new law , no Christmas adverts before December 1st

Nominated by Richard1

Jon Venables

Jon Venables, one of two boys convicted of the murder of toddler James Bulger, has been returned to prison again after he was caught with kiddy porn for a SECOND time. I don’t know why they don’t just hang the cunt and save the taxpayer some cash.

 

Nominated by Fred West.