Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Nightclubs.

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Nightclubs.

I’m not sure how many esteemed fellow cunters used to/currently go to Nightclubs on a regular basis, but I would imagine all of us at one time can recall just how fucking shite they were, and indeed still are by all accounts. My raving days encompassed the mid-90s to the 00s; The last time I ever set foot in one of these rotten fucking meat-markets was January 2009. Thank fuck. You are basically sold the premise of some drug-fuelled, lust-utopia fuckfest out of a Lars Von Trier film. The harsh reality is far, far less fucking appetising.

In modern times, you basically pay between £10 and £20 to enter some flea-ridden, barely-lit, unwanted piece of commerical real estate under a fucking bridge or something. You proceed to get treated like utter fucking shite from start to finish by everyone from the cloak-room cunt to the barstaff to the big bolshy shitcunt bouncers. You then pay a fucking premium on lukewarm Coronas, and settle in to watch a handful of people pull amongst the sweating, heaving dancefloor, under the illusion that you are somehow missing out.

Meanwhile, the half-cast Asian on the wheels of steel spins out yet another biscuit-tin beat shit-cut at tinitis-inducing overpowering volume, and you begin to wonder why the fuck you do this to yourself week in and week out, as your innards pulse the half-digested korma and bottled piss-lager down your intestinal tract thanks to the ground-shaking fucking bass.

Piss-soaked carpets of stairs between levels are festooned with cunts out of their skull, probably driven in equal parts by peer pressure and a subliminal desperation to escape the fucking nightmare of the nightclub experience, and fat slags squeezed into ill-fitting Primark one-pieces cackle otherworldly on their office night out.

The mercy of closing time finally arrives, and the harsh lights reveal just how fucking disgusting everything is, with everyone herded out like fucking lobotomy outpatients and sent off into the freezing cold to negotiate the fallen scumcunts on the pavement, and the legion of unlicensed, non-English speaking shades of excrement hollering at you “you vant taxi take taxi please”.

Nightclubs were always fucking shite, and I’m frankly delighted that I don’t need to pretend that I love going to them anymore. They are closing <i>en masse</i> these days, due to less interest from millenials who prefer to take photos of themselves all night. Well, just like even human shite has a useful by-product as fertiliser, so too apparently do millenial anti-social tendencies – fuck the nightclubs and everything about them. Each and every one of them can go bust as far as I’m concerned.

Nominated by. The Empire Cunts Back.

John Prescott [7]

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I had the misfortune last night of watching a programme where John (Oh look what a fat working class cunt I am) presscunt travels around Yorkshire acting like an annoying cunt and “getting in touch” with the working class people of yorkshire.
He travels from factory to factory, looking at how the poor cunts that he fucked over just a few years ago live, and then patronizes them by telling them how fantastic and important they are.
They weren’t very important when you had them sacked and replaced with poles you backstabbing two faced cunt though were they.
I find this cunt not only sickening but also infuriating and how this prick has the arrogance to show his fat face on the telly after all he’s done is beyond me.
It’s like he’s totally forgotten what new labour did to the working class.
Has he forgotten about the total balls up that they made of the economy or the entire communities that were wiped out by mass immigration or EU redistribution of wealth and jobs?

He’s not just useless at being a politician though.

He buggered up practically everything that he tried to do (except the eating part of course).
Even something simple like when asked to put sausages into packets, he completely fucked it up.
Then the coup de grâce. The real challenge.
Put the round chocolates into the part of the tray designed for round ones and put the square chocolates into the part of the tray designed for square ones.

“This is really hard to do.”

No John.

It’s a minimum wage job. It’s a minimum wage job because IT’S FUCKING EASY AND ANYONE COULD DO IT.
Apart from you so it seems.
Stupid fat cunt can’t even use a pallet truck.

I think he was putting on some of the stupidity in a vain attempt to endear himself to the public, a bit like when some girls try to play dumb to seem cute but just come across as cunts.
Or perhaps he’s just lazy and doing the bloke thing (you know how we fuck up the hoovering and washing up so we don’t get asked to do it .. sorry .. *aherm* coz we’re just *aherm* coz we’re just not as good at it as you darling *aherm*) …
None the less …
How did these retarded cunts manage to run an entire country?
Well I guess they didn’t did they.

Seeing presscunt on tv last night made it glaringly obvious why this country got so fucked up when these mentally disabled, treasonous cretins were in charge. New Labour were without a doubt the worst thing to ever happen to this country and cunts like John Prescott were an integral part of the destruction of our country.

So you wanna make sausages John?
May I suggest that you throw B.liar, Straw, Brown, Mandelson, Campbell and all those other complete cunts into the mincer and make some sausages out of that.

Then throw yourself in after you cunt.

Does a mincer big enough for presscunt even exist?
One can live in hope.

… one day cunters, one day.

nominated by Deploy the sausage

Quora

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Quora: The site that has the answers to everything fucking retarded.

With tens millions of repetitive emotional squirter’s and their questions about gun laws, white guilt, privilege, and racism that literally sucks the will to live right out of any intelligent person’s soul.

“If I collected five black friends and two of them turned out to be white (something that actually happens in America) and one of them was an “acting white” and the other two weren’t actually born on the African continent but were born in Walla Walla Washington – Should I still feel white guilt over something that happened over 150 fucking years ago?”

My answer: Just suck their dicks snowflake and get on with life.

“Who’s adopted (purchased) more black children Madonna or Sandra Bullock?” (Bullock who has two black children and uses them as bookends)

My answer: Jesus H Christ blacks aren’t collectible items you fucking bowls of vaginal discharge!

Quora: The place where pretentious narcissistic societal hanger-ons go to dress up their meaningless existences and literally waste every free second that they have in echo chambers of their own opinions. And then ask,

(real questions)
“Why am I stupid?”

“What does it feel like to be stupid?”

I don’t know you tell me.

Quora: The poster site for stupid cunts who love to hear themselves talk. (and everyone else wants to get away from at parties)

Nominated by BluntCunt

Owen Jones double cunting (7 & 8)

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I’d like to nominate Owen Jones – the champagne socialist bumboy. Not content with being an aggressive, intolerant, sanctimonious little shit, the cunt has written a column in the Guardian attacking Andrew Neil for being right wing. Neil is the only journalist at the BBC who provides a bit of balance to the left wing SJW shit that’s stuffed down our throats every day. Maybe Owen is bitter about the time he made an appearance on This Week and was exposed by Neil for being a lying piece of shit.

Nominated by An Irish cunt

Then nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.

Owen Jones, shirtlifter-in-chief, Citizen Smith parody and screeching far-left cuntwomble, is in rarified air over at Graunland. He is possibly the biggest the cunt going at that paper and boy, does it take some considerable cuntitude to climb atop that particular Mount Olympus.

Even the most ardent Labour supporter cannot describe Jones’ pitiful attempts to ‘get Andrew Neil sacked’ as the petulant, intolerant side of the Momentum-tinged liberalism; basically demonising anyone at all who disagrees with them.

More disturbingly however, is that Citizen Jones the cunt is repeating his trick of shouting something loudly, getting mucho publicity and relying on ‘the people’ to follow his rhetoric without paying attention to facts. He did this by making a huge fuss of the BBC ‘editing’ a Newsnight image to show Corbyn in a Russian-style hat (it was authentic), and he is now doing it again, this time in an autistic hissyfit about the BBC being, unbelievably, biased towards the right.

Not even a cunt like Jones can for one second genuinely believe this. It is a sideshow. An attempt at good old Orwellian Truth Ministry correction. It goes being annoying and into really dangerous politicking that simply relies more on lies and fake news than actual truth. He can’t beat brillo in debate so instead attempts a Crucible-tier cry of brillo being a witch.

Jones is pure, liberal cancer.

The London Marathon

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Yes, it’s marathon day. Cunts in costumes running 26 miles on the road to nowhere.

Thousands of the cunts. Endless tedious BBC coverage with cunts spouting bollocks. The Beckham’s spawn has run it. Paula Radcliffe has won it. Prince Harry says it’s wonderful so it must be a cuntfest.

And it’s all in the name of charity – or money for feckless cunts and scroungers. The odd worthy cause maybe but mainly people doing it to make themselves look good.

Marathon? Cuntathon more like.

Apparently it’s going to be scorchio. Hope the cunts boil.

Nominated by Pedantic Cunt