Why is it that every time I go for a piss these days I lose a pube? Is it age?
I never used to shed them.
It’s a phenomenon that sickens me in the same way that turning around and checking the health of the turd I just logged out doesn’t.

But every single time a coconut, there’s a hair on the bog-roll and it makes me want to barf.
I’m not particularly old I have to say here. As in, no spring chicken but not yet a Cougar.
Why the fuck do I have to deal with random shit changing on me?
One heartening thing is that young people lose pubes too. I know this from cleaning all six bogs in our over-sized house. 14 year old uses one of the bogs and I’m forever finding hairs in this one.
Back story: Francis asked in the fly post “Why six bogs”. Here’s the list for clarification:
Master. En-suite. Huge bathroom with the loo in one corner. his and hers vanities and a tub and shower that would comfortably fit three. I wish.

2 Guests with en-suites. Bogs and showers.

Boys bathroom with large tiled shower as I have a family of mostly large lads and they can piss on the toilet seat in peace or leave the seat up all day and I won’t give a fuck.

One more bathroom opposite my daughters bedroom. Shower over bath and loo. Seat is mostly always down though oldest does like to yellow up the water of a night, but there is never any skids.

My conclusion: Some cunt has a voodoo doll on me and pulls out a pube at random the next time I go for a tinkle I get the joy of finding I’ve lost a hair. Now, I’m no stranger to a Brazilian wax but I might have to make it a regular or get it all off permanently.
At least it’s not fucking gray. (Or Grey for you British types.
So at least there I can count my blessings.
Fucking pubes. I hate ’em; hate my own and I hate wiping my son’s from the various bowls. I’ve got four boys and as far as I can tell at least one’s got pubes so I’ve got a long road ahead of me cleaning pubes from bogs.
I don’t mind skids. And I’m Lynda Carter at plunging blocked loos. There was one time the system backed up and it all came up the boys shower and ran down the hallway and I was fucking Wonder Women at dealing with that river of shit.
But finding a pube is a real stomach turner. Why did we grow them in the first place? Fuckers. They were a novelty in the changing sheds at the age of twelve but they’re fucking ever-present and a curse at this stage of life.

Nominated by CaliAngel

Fuck me sideways if it isn’t the same old tripe this day every year, where the media and mothers (same thing?) go into a frenzy about their precious little darlings results. Nobody bloody well cares you bunch of cunts! And they are cunts.. open up the BBC article and every image has either a girl or mother in it, usually with one or two diverse individuals, with nary a boy of any colour to be found. Nothing but a blatent visual representation of the cynical alliance between the corporate state and feminism. The New Cunt Order.

Now I’ll admit I’m biased and bitter, A-Level day was shite for me, but as a male it curdles my urine to see endless smiling girls and mothers, the latter no doubt spoon feeding, tutoring and even cheating for their sprogs benefit, while boys fall further behind because quite frankly no one gives a fuck about men, of any age, unless you’re top dollar/tax earner bastardo.

To top it off there’s this obsession with ever greater pass rates. The media, mums, school headmasters, they all fucking love this bullshit. Look, we aren’t all magically getting smarter, ok? Maybe a bit, but you’d think every school had just produced half a dozen Newtons and Einsteins by the wankstorm media frenzy going on! If we’re so bloody smart then why is this country and culture seemingly swirling the drain?

Bah! Let’s see their faces in 5 years when they can’t find a job, realize they will never retire and probably never own a home.

Nominated by The Big Chunky Cunty

A cyber cunting to companies that employ Teleworkers
Who the fuck would take a job like this? Like fucking battery chickens, you get an amount of space worked out by an industrial psychologist to be the minimum needed to stop you from going insane.
Next criterion taken into account by the cunts who create these jobs ( Amazon, The Banks, Public Utilities, Mobile Phone service providers etc ) is to analyse where to locate the centres.
No sense in putting them where there’s a minimum wage or competition by way of proper jobs.. put them where the populations only have a two choices;
1. Being knee deep in animal shit and garbage all day long or
2. Being in a place where there’s running water and a roof over your head.

You know that if you satisfy the second choice that there will be an endless queue of applicants who don’t care what the fuck they have to do to get through each shift, or what the wages are.
When you then get away with as many offshore workers as you can before the politicians get angry at you, you start setting up at home in places where there’s only fucking morons left to hire.Leeds, Birmingham, Bradford etc , where they’re desperate and have nothing to do all day.They’re knee deep in a different kind of garbage; drugs and diversity.
Remember how they did that with the Car factories?
Now they’re predicting that a lot of the teleworker jobs will be taken over by robo callers, just like robots gutted the labour forces of that same car industry.
So what the fuck is there left to do once you stop making things and become a country that just fills orders?
Well they don’t need you on the farms, they don’t need you in the factories, they only need you to stack shelves or pull product from warehouses and you sure as fuck ain’t gonna become a doctor.
Back in the 70’s they crowed about the new age being the age of leisure but they didn’t realize that when people sit around all day with fuck all to do , they start to cause trouble.
It’s no wonder that despots bubble to the surface every generation or so, they’re needed to put control back in society whether the control is good or bad doesn’t seem to matter.
Hopefully the next despot puts an end to fucking telework!

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker