Robert Llewellyn

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With a heavy heart, I hereby nominate Robert “Kryten” Llewellyn as a cunt.

Liked him in Red Dwarf (although Chris Barrie was the real talent) and liked him in Scrapheap Challenge (although Lisa Roger’s arse was nicer to look at), and thought he was a genuine nice bloke. However during an appearance on Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff last year, when the phone in discussion moved onto the subject of Big Government vs Small Government, he showed the TV audience his true cuntish colours.

When a caller was expressing his concern over the growing intrusiveness of The State and the growth of surveillance, this cunt wrinkled up his nose like someone had farted under it and, in a sneering faux posh tone replied “I suppose you’d rather live in Small Government Somalia”. Concerned caller then gets quickly cut off, in true Matthew Shite fashion.

Well, Robert old son, for your information I don’t want to live in Somalia, but neither do I wish to live in a Stasi controlled State either. And a well thought out compromise between the two seems to be beyond the capabilities of our Lords and Masters and other clever people like yourselves to create, so fuck you…

Nominated by: Mr Bastard

Polly Toynbee (3)

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Polly Toynbee. Cunt of the Century.

Deluded, arrogant, patronising, sneering at everyone who isn’t Hampstead-orientated or “clever” enough to “see through” the “lies” peddled by “demagogues” such as Nigel Farage et al…
Toynbee is the biggest bloody demagogue of the lot, with gleet where anyone else would have a brain.

She even had the gall to quote that stupid twat Emmanuel Macron.
She is a rancid handbag attendant of the very worst sort.

Nominated by:HBelindaHubbard

Peter Kay

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Peter Kay is a cunt…

The money for old rope king has done it again… Not only has he cornered the ‘Putting out the same old crap every Xmas, but add on an extra few minutes and sell it as a new DVD’ market… But this unfunny as fuck cunt has now got a whole new series commissioned by the BBC… And it consists of clips from all Kay’s previous series, including the ones he did for Channel 4… Licence payers money spent on a whole series of Peter Kay’s old shows and outtakes… They’ve gone from Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Steptoe & Son, and Hancock’s Half Hour to the recycling of Phoenix Nights and Max & Paddy…. It’s like they are scavenging the bins of other TV channels… But, of course, Kay has no problem with it… A cunt getting easy money from a load of other cunts…

And he was never funny anyway… My dad had an aversion to cheesecake and garlic bread, but I didn’t piss myself laughing at it or make a career out of it…

Nominated by: Norman

American history

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According to Tom Hanks of Saving Ryan’s Privates fame, “There were only the Americans at Normandy” Of course they were AFTER so many got bloody massacred including my great great uncle. The Wanks arrived After the massacre to plop their flag in the sand fucking bellends.

When americunts get involved in a war they automatically get all the thanks and rewards even though they fuck everything up. Americunts are braggy little cunts claiming they did all the work when in reality they had a small part,they exaggerate like madmen.

Nominated by: TitSlapper

Ever read “Made in America” by Bill Bryson? Debunks every fucking claim the Americans ever made about their history and how great they are.

Classic example : Went to Boston where Paul Revere made his famous ride. Only he didn’t because he made it about a mile before being caught and his two companions did the actual ride. They weren’t rich and influential. Guess who got the credit.

When the Brits were sighted they raised two brass lanterns in the tower of the old North Church. I actually saw one of them in a museum. Shame the tower they were hauled up in wasn’t built until two years later.

Yep, the Yanks are full of bullshit and fond of blowing their own trumpet. The Ministry of Truth is alive and well and living in Washington DC. Bunch of overstuffed cunts!

Nominated by: Dioclese

The British film industry

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The British film industry should be cunted.

A film is being made about Dunkirk. That event early on in World War Two where we dragged defeat from the jaws of annihilation. Yes, it was a triumph of sorts, managing to get most of the B.E.F back to Blighty, minus all our equipment. But, it was a humiliating defeat for the British, no question. Why can’t we make a film about where we get it right, for instance, the events at Pegasus bridge, where lightly armed paratroopers took and held bridges vital to the success of the d day invasion, landing a few feet from their objectives in gliders, a feat which has been described as the greatest display of airmanship in WW2. The true events have everything, drama, humour, lots of action and a happy ending.

So what is missing? Oh, probably the whole war is hell, pointless murder and soul searching hippy crap. How can we have a pop at the yanks for films like Saving Private Ryan, which portrayed events that happened on an American beach, when we don’t blow our own trumpet, and show what we did to end the war.

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye