The British film industry


The British film industry should be cunted.

A film is being made about Dunkirk. That event early on in World War Two where we dragged defeat from the jaws of annihilation. Yes, it was a triumph of sorts, managing to get most of the B.E.F back to Blighty, minus all our equipment. But, it was a humiliating defeat for the British, no question. Why can’t we make a film about where we get it right, for instance, the events at Pegasus bridge, where lightly armed paratroopers took and held bridges vital to the success of the d day invasion, landing a few feet from their objectives in gliders, a feat which has been described as the greatest display of airmanship in WW2. The true events have everything, drama, humour, lots of action and a happy ending.

So what is missing? Oh, probably the whole war is hell, pointless murder and soul searching hippy crap. How can we have a pop at the yanks for films like Saving Private Ryan, which portrayed events that happened on an American beach, when we don’t blow our own trumpet, and show what we did to end the war.

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye

22 thoughts on “The British film industry

  1. I much prefer “Shaving Ryans Privates” “Titty Slickers” was a a particularly descent bongo vid too…aghhh the good old video cassette “sighs”……..sorry what was the question again?

    • Shaving Ryans Privates? sounds like a gay porno flick mate, lol Titty slickers sounds more up my alley though especially if its a solo tit tease show

  2. The film version of Tinker Tailor was… Gary Oldman wasn’t bad, John Hurt is always good, Colin Firth was OK, but most of the others were laughable.

    The TV version…brilliant. I guess trying to do it as a film was, in itself, a challenge; personally, I wouldn’t have bothered… suppose I should just be bloody grateful Huge Grunt wasn’t in it.

    But then the BBC is excellent at fiction, just look at its news coverage…

  3. Film industry is shite now, they don’t make good fims anymore, its all lib agendas with trannies and star studded wank fests and with the twisting of historical accuracies?.

    Don’t get me started Its always based on a true story but how many half truths do you find or straight up lies in a based on a true story film? too many to count dear punters.
    The golden age of films is dead in my opinion, its rare to find a good film nowadays and usually when I do its some largely forgotten about film from the 50’s 70’s or 80’s.

  4. Filums are largely made by kids these days who know fuck all or by older directors pretending to be kids who should know better.

      • The Dunkirk film is being directed by Christopher Nolan of “Batman Begins” fame so no doubt Tom Hardy and/or Gary Oldman will be in it somewhere. There was a report that they paid £5m for a vintage Luftwaffe aircraft and are going to crash it for the movie. Wasteful cunts…

      • Too true King Cunt, too true and crash a vintage Luftwaffe? yeah that will show those nazis..

        Wait what why would they crash it thats mental there isn’t that many Geschwader fighter jets left let alone in that good of condition,wasteful indeed.

      • I’m pretty sure that story is bollocks. It would be like setting fire to the Mona Lisa for an Adam Sandler movie.

      • It was a Mail Online article, so indeed probably all bollocks. For the wartime scenes in “Hannibal Rising” they built a full size model Stuka and piled it into a tank then blew the whole lot up. I think the rumours about the plane started because unlike most modern filmmakers, Nolan likes to avoid CGI effects, because they are shit…

  5. do you nominate cunts?
    Cos I have to nominate YouTube car vloger
    Shmee 150 he’s a fucking fat tongue rich daddy’s boy cunt. He’s swaning round Europe driving and buying motors we couldn’t afford in our dreams while im having to do a day shift, see my dad’s not a millionaire.
    Take five minutes out of your day and look him up on YouTube.
    He needs proper cunting he’s got away with this shit far too long.

    • Thats exactly how you nominate a cunt start off with “blanktly blank blank is a cunt” and the rest of your rant/reasoning and if the admin/mods agrees with your cunting it could be there tomorrow.

      Or it will be put in the queue and you might not see it for a few days, weeks, months or even a years time. Make it short or long but short is usually best

      • Yep that is exactly how it works!
        And the less editting I have to do, the better. I like to be able to just find a picture and cut/paste the text if possible so correcting spelling and grammar tends to piss me off. If it’s topical then it goes to the front of the queue otherwise it gets scheduled according to my whim frankly! I tend to post in batches as my free time permits.

        Incidentally the weather here in Guernsey is a cunt. It’s been fog, mist and pissing down all day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better…

      • Seems I picked a tidy weekend to go to Jersey the other day. It’s pissed down pretty much since I got back. That cunt of a French minister said if we leave the EU, we will end up like Guernsey. Here’s hoping….

  6. I’ll tell you who’s a cunt, that slimy fish-hook mouthed spastic Douglas fucking Carswell.

    One man got us this referendum and that’s Nigel Farage and whether we leave or not, he deserves a knighthood (dog in hell’s chance, even though he is technically saving her majesties sovereignty) for awakening the public to what a stinking pile of socialist shite the E.U. is.

    Carswell on the other hand, has been trying desperately to shove the knife in good old Nige’s back since he defecated on UKIP – hoping to highjack his twenty years of hard graft to grab the glory for himself (typical Conservative). And while I’m at it, he’s probably sticking his tongue through the half of his mouth that functions in to that even bigger cunt Susan Evans.

    Now if there’s one thing you’ve got to give to Kippers, it’s that they say it how they see it, and the whole membership saw that Carswell’s a cunt and has treated him like one since.

    From now until doomsday, every textbook given to children about this referendum, for which I pray to the lord jebus we leave, should end with the footnote, “and Douglas Carswell was a treacherous back-stabbing judas cunt.”

  7. Do you really believe if we vote leave that the EU will stand for that? They will do what they did in Ireland, have another vote and rig it lol

    • I am in no doubt of it. That’s why I refuse to get excited about the Referendum. Although I will actually bother to get off me arse and vote “out” I seriously believe that we have as much chance of being allowed to leave the EU as I have of flapping my arms and flying to the moon…

  8. Am genuinely of the belief that it might shortly be necessary to declare a State of Emergency at some point. Firstly, get RN out to protect our fishing interests, then slowly let the military take over. At least they’d get the job done, Wetminster is just stuffed full of silly, ineffectual little cunts and pricks.
    Next step would be to d/w any out-of-control elements that threaten the Sovereign State. Need I say more??!

  9. Every British film now is either a cockney gangster guy ritchie inspired piece of monkey fuck, period drama bullshit spaz fuck funded by film four, or some kitchen sink council estate set load of chav bollocks. Fuck British films.

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