Dosser shite

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The Good Lord ordains that what marketh man is his shite. Animal shite – unless it’s bear or pig – is generally cope able with. The human kind, orf which yours truly has vast experience orf is orf a different order orf foulness. Indian shite and particularly that that fouls the streets orf Calcutta is beyond the pale. In the Western Desert (8th Army, Rommel, that show) a good soldier learned to identify his enemy by his waste – Iti, Kraut, Wog, Yank (lots orf Yank but never near any danger) all distinctive. Hippy shite stands oit from from me days in the 60s in the Producer dodge organising festivals, particularly when mixed, as it so orften was, with mud and psychotic substances. In short I know me shite.

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Orf a different order orf magnitude is dosser shite as increasingly evidenced in London, Manchester and many a South Coast toine. A veritable tsunami orf the stuff is deluging our once great nation. Glossy, brown and bloated, the sticky mucous coated crap is stuffed full orf parasites and drug resistant viruses. Indeed consider where it has been and what has produced it. Now try and get it orf your shoes without getting it smeared all over your hands and clothes.

The feral cunts squeezing their arses oit over shopping centres, public streets and people’s front gardens think they have the right to borrow a rat arsed dog with sad soulful eyes (I always offer to put the fucker doine) or hire a fake sand sculpture and beg for my money. Must declare me interest here. Do a spot orf lay preaching at me local church and have regular occasion to shovel dosser shite (see photos) oit orf our front garden. Call the Council? Fuck orf. No other cunt will touch it.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Yodel [2]

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Yodel are cunts, once ordered some paint online, dispatched by Yodel.

Sat in all day waiting, heard the cunt pull in to our close (a cul-de-sac with one road in/out).
Looked out of window, saw it was Yodel, put my shoes on and walked to the front door, cunt was then pulling away!

Rang Yodel up to complain, was told the driver had attempted delivery and left a card, tore the bitch a new one calling her a lying cunt and explained what happened. She put me on hold and rang the driver, he came back 2 hours later and actually delivered the paint, he was not fucking happy!

He obvious drove to my address so his tacometer/gps showed he did his route but didnt even get out of the van, cunt.

Then a couple of years later ordered a new 28″ monitor for the PC, again it was Yodel (ffs)
tracking said dispatched, never turned up, eventually after ringing Yodel and complaining it was delivered 2 days later, unboxed to find the LCD panel broken!

Had to fuck about for another 3 days getting them to come pick it up and be returned.

FUCKING USELESS CUNTS

Nominated by: Boaby

Barack Obama [13]

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Apparently America’s most useless president in history is to stop off in the UK to tell everyone to vote to stay in the EU.

Apart from having no business in doing so, what the fuck does this fucking Yank cunt know about Europe? Answer, fuck all.

How would he think his people would react to that cunt Cameron going over there and telling everyone how to vote ? Not very well I suspect.

So fuck right off Obummer, we don’t want you here.

Nominated by: Captain Cunteye

Steph McGovern [2]

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I would like to cunt Stephanie McGovern, the business presenter on BBC Breakfast. Simply because she confuses me, in that I can’t decide whether I want her to sex me or her appearance disgusts me to the pit of my stomach.

Masculine, moody, deep voiced, north-eastern, square-jawed, sexually bewitching cunt.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto

Richard Keys

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Richard Keys is a cunt…

Old hairy hands, and ex-Sky Sports presenter Keys is so full of shit… Here are his views on that dour cunt, Andy Murray: ‘Fantastic achievement by Andy Murray – whatever happens in the final… This guy has to be our greatest ever sportsman….’

Greatest ever British sportsman? Ever heard of Roger Bannister, Bobby Moore, Ian Botham, Bobby Charlton, Fred Perry, George Best, Lester Piggott, Jacky Stewart. Tom Finney etc?

Fuck off, Keys, you gobshite arselicking cunt…..

Nominated by: Norman