Dead Pool [32]

Martin Crowe, former New Zealand cricketer

After one of the longest running Dead Pools I can remember, now we have one of the shortest – running only since 22nd February…

Congratulations to Richard Debo Debson who bags his third Dead Pool title by bagging former New Zealand cricketer, Martin Crowe who lost his battle with cancer. Tears no doubt being shed in the Flaxen Saxon household this morning seeing as how Flaxen is such a huge cricket fan!

Well done, Debo. That’s three out of the last five and another one towards the target of five held by Dioclese (me). Clearly I going to have to pull my socks up.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 32.

A reminder of the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Elton John [4]

Elton John Performs At The Kent Event Centre

Can we cunt that fucking old shit stabber Elton John (again) please?

If for no other reason than his latest crap song that’s doing the rounds at the moment namely ‘Blue Wonderful’. It must have taken the old cunt all of 2 minutes to write this shit but it took me considerably less to dislike it.

Hasn’t this cunt made enough money from singing shite not to be able to buy his own private island somewhere and take his bum chum with him? May I suggest the Sea Of Japan where that other massive cunt Dim Mong Ug can use it for target practice for his new toys.

Nominated by: Captain Cunteye

Donald Fagen

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Eagles – the LA equivalent of Steely Dan. Anybody who names their band after a strapon dildo is a bloody poof & a bellend. Steely Dan have a few good tracks but I just can’t get over that dildo reference.

Donald Fagen is a weird cunt. Ge’s also a wife beater! “On January 4, 2016 Fagen was arrested in his New York City home after allegedly pushing his wife into a marble window frame and injuring her arm. Fagen was charged with a misdemeanour assault charge, and released the next day without bail. He was additionally issued a restraining order to stay away from his wife, who confirmed her plans to divorce the musician after 23 years of marriage”

Look at the cunts face in photos he doesn’t look like a happy man. If the cunt does himself in don’t be surprised.

Nominated by: Titslapper

James Nesbitt

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James Nesbitt is a cunt…

Not only is he a crap actor (he’s the same in every fucking thing!) the lazy cunt always has his Paddy accent, no matter what the part is… I recall this expensive TV series about the last days of Jesus, and there’s Nesbitt, as Pontius Pilate, and he opens his gob (‘So… Ye tink ye’re der king o’ der jews, so ye do?’)… It’s like Michael Caine or Ray Winstone being a cockney in every film that they do… Can’t these overrated, lazy cunts even attempt to adapt? I’ve seen more range from a peashooter….

And Nesbitt is also the modern celebrity nu-footie fan cunt personified (lifelong Man United fan, my arse!)… And that ‘Irish Jig’ he wore at the Ballon d’Or cuntfest… What a prize knobhead…

Nominated by : Norman

Justin Bieber fans

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Grown adults who are buying Justin Bieber’s latest album; seemingly in their fucking droves.

The kind of retards who buy one album a year, and in their infinite wisdom decide upon the mewling of this dead-eyed, entitled, uppity little cunt.

These people can vote: utterly chilling (and probably explains a lot).

If you are older than 12, and not a girl, what the fuck are you doing buying this god-awful shite? Fucking grow up. Then kill yourself. Please. Cunt.

Nominated by: Artisan Beard