Monthly Archives: May 2014

James Corden [2]

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“Ooo! Love that footwork, David!”

This fat fuck has the face and grace of a pig. Yet the cunt is so far up his own arse he can chew rubber at johnnies that fell off his dad’s knob, and then got pushed right up his colon by his mum with a milk bottle.

Corden has no talent whatever but seems to get work as a token fat bastard. He can’t sing and instead makes high-pitches mewing noises like a cat straining to shit hair-balls. His jokes are unfunny insults about victims who are defenseless (as if he is pissing on a sleeping tramp), catering for IQ56 Jimmy Savile fans (who it seems are now his fans). His acting is that of a desperate fat bastard haranguing a disjointed sequence of onomatopoeias at a terrified child he has tied to chair with barbed wire.

The sad shit is that he taking over from the ultra-lame cunt (and professional token black) Lenny Henry, as a charity show presenter. Even though everybody hates the cunt Corden, the fuck-pigs at the BBC, Sky, and ITV will still keep putting the lame loathsome cunt on the box to present charity shite (maybe he is good at extorting money from the poor so TV producers can go to Africa for free to sodomise babies to death and shove sticks up women’s arse-holes).

Nominated by: Fatty Arbuckle II

Ed Miliband [9]

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It’s funny how Miliband’s recent trip to Israel has suddenly washed away the atheist he’s claimed to be for years and jump started his Jewish faith. As Dioclese points out in his blog, he’s shown his ignorance by announcing that he wants to be the first Jewish PM. He’s a bit late for that, since Benjamin Disraeli has beaten him to it by about 150 years.

One of his best comments was his claim he was an atheist who had faith in God. Which to me at least shows what a dumb shit Miliband is, since the whole concept of atheism is that you have faith in the fact that God doesn’t exist. His claim was a classic example of the word ‘OXYMORON’. With the emphasis on MORON.

The best picture from his trip to his spiritual Motherland, was the one of him playing football with a Palestinian child. This was no doubt supposed to make him look like an ordinary, caring, man of the people, statesman. The look on his face though makes it clear that, along with beer, Ed also doesn’t do football.

To be perfectly honest, I’d rather see Bob the Builder as Prime Minister than this geeky, buck toothed, weird voiced, twat who looks like an axe murderer. The worst thing though, is if Labour win the next general election, we’ll get that evil, arrogant, egomentalist Ed Testicles as Chancellor. A man who makes Gordon Brown look electable.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Maroon 5

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maroon5wiz

Maroon 5 are utter cunts!

Every Saturday our local has a bit of a disco near chucking out time… Some cunt always plays that “Moves Like Jagger” bollocks… The words are shit, the tune is shit, the video is shit, and the singer is a wanker.

Why not just play a Stones dancefloor filler? Get Off Of My Cloud, The Last Time, Brown Sugar, Miss You, Satisfaction etc.

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Headphone users

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A cunt wearing headphones...

Best picture I could find of a cunt wearing headphones…

Nowt wrong with using the things in your own home. But when I see these cunts outside with them… I don’t mean small, or even the old Walkman type of headphones, I mean those cunts who parade around with those ridiculous things on that are bigger than Mickey Mouse’s ears (and are usually in ridiculous colours Dayglo orange or silver!).

Is someone really so thick as to wear a big and expensive item on their stupid heads in a city centre in broad daylight? Obviously they are. Don’t these pillocks realize that they won’t be able to hear anyone creep up behind them to nick their status symbol rich kid Disney ears?! Anyone who goes around with these stupid things on might as well have a sign on their backs saying “I’m a tosser! Mug me!”

Nothing screams “I’m a twat” more than going around a busy town with a pair of giant 300 quid, light-up headphones on your bonce…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Len Goodman

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Len Goodman – the simpering old cockney barrow boy done good who pollutes Saturday night prime time on Strictly Come Dancing.

He is the BBC’s answer to Simon Cowell,

Len is fucking cunt of the highest order. You only have to see him mince about on SCDITT like he is the nations sweetheart and not many people know, his catchphrase “SEVEEEEEN” actually relates to the age of boys he likes to teach to tango.

Inane, vapid, vacuous, cretinous, imbecilic cunt that he is!

Nominated by: Jabba the Slut

( Apparently his new wife reckons he’s shit hot in bed. She probably needs to get out more. Ed. )