Chris Moyles [3]

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Chris Moyles is [alledgedly] an thieving lying criminal cunt who has been paid £millions by the evil beast PC shit at the BBC.

Moyles [alledgedly] enrolled in a tax scam (Working Wheels) that [alledgedly] criminally fabricated fees and losses to avoid paying tax. [If this is true] then the dirty evil filth pig cunt, Chris Moyles, knows full well that he was committing a criminal offence and thieving from the poor with tax evasion.

Meanwhile, cripples who do not turn up for appointments at the DWP (because they cannot afford taxis) are sanctioned 3 months benefit (£71.70 a week).

IMHO we should all pray for Chris Moyles to die of cancer.

Nominated by: BBC Syph

(With added caveats because we don’t like being sued! Ed.)

Football ranking

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The FIFA/Coca-Cola World Ranking Table. WTF? Spain is number one and Germany, two – fair enough, but Argentina three and Portugal four?

Wait a minute, England is 15 and USA is 13?

Ha! I take it all back!

FIFA is god! Omnipotent and omniscient!

Nominated by: Cuddling Aquarians

Internet pedantry

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Internet pedants are a breed who pounce on the slightest typographical error, any slip in grammar and a misplaced comma.

These pedantic cunts are so obsessed with berating others over the minutiae of the language, that they fail to see that their own comments and arguments are merely worthless intellectual masturbation with no valid content.

Nominated by: Toadspanker

Piers Morgan [6]

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I think it’s also worth taking a moment to gloat at Piers Morgan’s recent sacking from the US talk show he hosted. Morgan’s screen presence and interview technique makes Jeremy Kyle look like David Frost. The former tabloid cunt has been boasting for months of his lavish lifestyle, trousering small fortunes for brown-nosing the rich and famous. And now it’s all come crashing down.

Morgan Le Cunt has been trying to spin his departure as being related to his stance on US gun laws, but this is fooling no one. The Americans might be race of obese fucktards, but even they can recognise a smug British Uber Cunt when they see one and they’ve sent him packing pretty sharpish. So Morgan has now received TWO high profile sackings: one from the Daily Mirror (for faking front page photos) and another from CNN (for being a smug and hated cunt).

Let’s hope this odious, talentless, unemployed and unemployable abortion makes it a hat trick by topping the Dead Pool sometime soon.

Nominated by: Fred West

Juries

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Juries are cunts. DLT gets off on a majority verdict because apparently some jurors were concerned by the “lack of forensic evidence and corroborating witnesses”. Er, excuse me but do ANY sexual assaults take place in front of corroborating witnesses?

They seem to forget that the women who came forward were credible professional women (one was a school Head Teacher); they were not floozies looking to sell stories to the tabloids as DLT alleged (nice try, Dave, but you’re not that famous any more, you deluded cunt), they simply wanted to see justice done.

By the standards required of the 12 Cunts on this jury, Chief Nonce Savile would have been acquitted too for lack of forensic evidence (what the fuck do you expect after so many years?) and absence of corroborating witnesses. Fucking CUNTS.

Nominated by: Fred West

( I prefer the South African system. Sod the jury – just get a hanging judge. Ed. )