Jehovah Witnesses


Jehovah Witnesses are the “tight wads” of Christianity. Cunts think nowt of doffing 10% tithe to their church but when Xmas bowls round the kids get fuck all!

I wouldn’t care, I have no idea where the money goes because every Jehovah church I’ve ever seen (admittedly only 6 or so – but dotted around the country) literally have been like extended wooden shacks or a couple of porta-kabins stuck together!

If then spend more than £50 quid a year on their upkeep I’d be amazed! There’s a rabbit off somewhere in that set-up! Even the watchtower only has a 2 amp energy saver bulb in it these days!

—-

“Dad?”

“Yes Johnny.”

“If Jesus was here now, as a child, what do you think he’d be doing today, on Christmas day?”

“Well Johnny, I imagine he’d spend it spreading good will to all men, helping the poor and passing on much needed words of peace and happiness to all. Is that what you think too son?”

“Well I don’t know about that Dad, but I reckon he’d be playing the fuck out of Black Ops on his new PS4 like Charlie is next door!”

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

One Love Manchester “Zleb Fest”

I’m fucking dreading this concert thing tonight in aid of the Manchester victims.

I reckon it’ll even surpass Diana’s funeral for mawkish sentimentality. A load of ignorant pop stars wailing away to a VIP section of minor soap stars, reality tv show actors, assorted right-on social commentators and a bunch of vote-hungry politicians. They’ll all be at the front,with extra security, while the “ordinary” folk can hold their mobile phones up at the back.

Of course,there’ll be no mention of the Elephant in the Room, just endless cant about “Standing United” and “Love conquers Hate.” Nobody’ll dare utter the dreaded “Muslim terrorist” phrase, instead we’ll get tales of how the muslim “Community” helped the victims, and how “shocked” they all are. Presumably not so shocked that they bothered to do anything about the terrorists who they hid,and continue to hide, in their “peaceful community.”

Saints Bono and Bob’ll probably put in an appearance,along with whichever “star” Simon Cowell is currently plugging…is it a dancing dog this year? The over-the-top grief signalling will be unstoppable. Even “Self-Pity City”, Liverpool won’t be able to hold a tear-doused tea-candle to it.

All the weeping and wailing won’t change a fucking thing. Unless this country wises up, and fucking quickly, this muslim terrorism will increase and spread.

Nominated by dick fiddler.

Ticketmaster put aside 14,200 free passes for those people who attended the original concert. They received 25,000 applications from those people claiming to be there that fateful Monday. So, over 10,000 false claims.

Good to see the human spirit of honesty and compassion is burning strong.

The thieving, lying scum that will stoop so low, so as to get a free ticket on the back of other people’s suffering and misery.

Contemptible, miserable fuckwits. I despair.

Nominated by Mike Oxard.

The Messiah myth

handel-messiah-1334753405-article-0

The Jesus story predates erm Jesus and a similar story can be found in many other religions. In the world of theology now dominated by three major religions the view of Jesus vary widely. Religion v.1.0 believes Jesus to be a false messiah currently burning in a pit of excrement. Religion v.2.0 believe Jesus is our salvation and the only path to God. Religion v3.0 believe Jesus to be a prophet but denies his divinity and places him below the merchant, warrior with a fondness for the much much younger woman.

People who have made a life long study of esoteric mythology believe that Jesus represents the Sun of God and is indeed Sun worship, the Catholic Church stems from moon worshippers and Islam is worship of Saturn or indeed SATAN interesting stuff.

The only truth universal to all religions is that your God will help you if you help yourself and the more you help yourself the more your god will help you.

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit

Religion [2]

Prayer

I’d like to nominate religion for an almighty cunting.

When a secular person looks up in the sky, what do they see? Zillions of fucking stars, some of which died billions of years before their dad lost his mess in their mum’s cunt. What does this make them think? “Fuck me, I’m a right insignificant cunt. I’m a tiny speck in a universe that (for all intents and purposes) is infinite. All I can do is the best for those few cunts I meet. Even if I’m the best cunt who ever lived, I’ll soon be forgotten anyway. Still, the universe will go on for billions of years without me, just as it did for billions of years before my dad shot his load.”

When a religious person looks up in the sky, what do they see? Zillions of fucking stars, some of which died billions of years before their dad lost his mess in their mum’s cunt. What does this make them think? “Fuck me, I’m a right important cunt. God created all this just for me. If I have wank, Jupiter will wobble in its orbit. If I vote to let gaylords get married, God will destroy New Orleans. If I let my female relations show their hair, God will fuck me up. Best if I fuck up everything and everyone just to show God I’m on his side.”

I have zero respect for your religion and don’t care what your imaginary friend is going to do to me. This is an equal opportunities cunting and applies to all imaginary friends – Zeus, Thor, Quetzalcoatl, Allah, you are all cunts.

Nominated by: Cunt’s Mate Cunt

Catholicism

120203043041-soko-catholic-contraception-story-top

Catholicism is a evil religion and the worst form/sect of christianity who through the ages have brought genocide, torture, death, pain, confusion and misery.

I have never said anything good about the Church of England and catholicism in general isn’t even christianity per se. It’s actually a paganized form of it, where in the pope acts as a god who does no wrong infallible ie “incapable of failure or error”.

It also makes it’s own rules and laws which also wants to bring other religions together which is the opposite of christs teaching. The pope is apologetic to islam, has kissed the koran and promotes refugees/migrants and even said extremists have a right to kill if you offend them(this was after the charlie heb’ado attacks).

Paedophilia is a sad state of affairs in catholicism and the church is unapologetic.

Nominated by: Titslapper