When scanning the newspaper sites earlier, I came across (no pun intended) a video of a tightly track suited Carol Vorderman, enjoying a ‘sweaty session’ with her personal trainer.

As I was watching it for the second time, the wife heard the sound and peered over my shoulder to see what I was looking at.

‘Bloody Nora’ says she, ‘look at her flaunting herself, the old tart. And YOU, you’ve got a hard on, haven’t you?’ Tch!’.

Shamefacedly, I admitted that I did.

I hereby cunt myself.

News Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee

This Sunday (3 Oct) my road is going to be closed from 8am to 7pm because of the London Marathon.

This means I can’t drive locally and it’s bloody difficult to even cross the road thanks to crowds of people filling the streets.

I would not have a problem with the London Marathon if the course covered a different part of London and my local roads weren’t blocked to accommodate a bunch of virtue-signalling twats running and walking around in ridiculous costumes.

Also, it’s about the only sporting event the BBC covers these days; in other words, proper sports channels couldn’t give a toss.

Nominated by: Hard Brexit Cunt

This is a buy one, get two free cunting for the one, the only Patricia “Choppers” Dean, NHS waste and her retarded son who have recently been in court for offences including firearms and assisting a violent offender.

Turns out old keyboard teeth was provided with a car by the cash strapped NHS ( a fucking photocopier salesman Mercedes Sport GTi cuntwagon) and because she already owned another car, her half-wit son took to driving it around and committing crimes with a shotgun…yes that’s right, an NHS car and someone was using it to commit gun crime against a love rival.

Now I know people will crow salary sacrifice, lease costs met by the employee but why are the NHS fucking around with all the admin, costs and no doubt expensive managers to do this? MY NI has just gone up so people like Shergar here and her dim-wit son can drive around in a Mercedes GTi…the world is truly fucked.

They are due to be “sentenced” in October but as she is part of the NHS cult I suspect she will get a suspended sentence and the blood splattered shit mobile will probably be returned…maybe she will even get an upgrade to a Rolls Royce?

News Link

Nominated by: Spanky Mc Spank

The media – yet again.

If you want links do a google search for Trump. 9 months into Bidens presidency that media MSNBC, CNN and the usual cohorts are still full of stories about Trump.

For example:

CNN Trump

Hold on CNN, Trump isn’t president anymore, what about the current presidents mental decline?

Biden’s Mental Illness

Ok there is the odd mention of it but he’s obviously not at the peak of his mental capacity and where are the editorials from the big media hitters in the US? He is the president, he’s the one requiring the most scrutiny right now. Why the fixation on the continued character assassination of the orange one?

Why are they so busy with Trump hit pieces?

News Link

Maybe it’s because Biden is so shit that voters are regretting voting for him, even the dead voters I suspect.

The media are campaigning for the sitting president with very little coverage of the total catastrophe the Biden administration is bringing upon Americans and us by extension.

If Biden was a massive improvement on Trump I’d not really give a fuck but from what we’ve seen so far Biden is a bigger threat domestically and internationally, this makes the MSM complicit in our impending doom.

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit

The Met office used to call their weather reports ‘The Weather’ – but now its in transition and been rebranded ‘The Weather AND CLIMATE CHANGE’

Met Office Link

I filled in the survey, hey it takes about 5minutes so you know bathroom, waiting, hole that needs to be filled, well drained or emptied.

So I was asked ‘how they could improve their site’ – big mistake. Please feel free to add, edit or share your own opinions. Just how much do they know about eccentricity? [not running around naked throwing your life savings into the street] – but how circular or egg shaped the earth goes round the sun? – precession and other essential terms converging on a typical 30 000 year cycle. Most like a big fat zero. Climate since records began? What since T-rex was out of diapers in the cretaceous period (I don’t think), just around the time the titanic was being built getting ready to sink due to perpetual global cooling.

Anyhoo my response was polite and I was thanked:

Not calling yourself climate change, it is a fallacy and more to boot meteorologists are not qualified to make such claims. For example geologists, environmental scientists and geographers are all examples of who are qualified to make such claims. Along with physicists.

Meteorologists read data from computer scientists who make models. These models are generally 95% unreliable after 72hrs. Further to this signing reputable scientists on fake journal articles not conducted by them is fraud. Any self respecting journal would immediately strike an authors name from a journal, that’s how science works.

You however, have an agenda to push so use these ‘questionable sources to push narrative onto the non-understanding’. Please explain why 500yr hot water upwellings sliced off the western antarctic ice shelf prior to industrialisation? Oh sorry did I put urea on your chips and make them unpalatable? Behave yourself.

And please please please do us all a favour stop using bright scorching red for 18C when you used to use yellow at most. Even orange was never used much. We see through your lies and attempts for a new tax.

Thus endeth the labial curtailment

Nominated by: Climatewhat?