I’m starting to get a bit miffed by Premium Bonds. Something’s not quite right.

The wife and I bought an equal number of bonds a while ago. ERNIE, the electronic thingy that chooses the winning numbers, supposedly operates on the basis of purely random selection, meaning that each bond has a separate and equal chance of winning.

That being the case, perhaps NS&I could explain why in the last four months the wife has netted a not to be sneezed at £725 in winnings, whereas I’ve had to settle for a nice round sum; the thin end of the square root of fuck all to be precise.

As if the unfairness wasn’t bad enough in itself, I’ve also got to tolerate the wife’s barely contained glee as she tells me that I should be happy for her.

Of course I might win a grand next month or the month after. But until that happens, I’ll go with the notion that my head says it’s kosher, but my heart says it’s somehow a fix, and that some numbers have more chance than others for some reason.

Come on ERNIE you electronic cockhead; where the fuck’s my share?

Bah humbug. Life’s just so unfair sometimes.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(There will be calls that PBs are racist and homophobic etc. Day Admin)

The EEB (Ecology and Evolutionary Biology) Language Project is a cunt.
This is a collaboration of so called scientists from the US and Canada, where else but?

In the latest attempt to erase language and replace it with fuck-speak, this bunch of twats want to end the use of the words man and woman and refer to them as ‘sperm producing’ and ‘egg producing’.

Apparently this is urgently required, as the terms man and woman are not inclusive. They have also flagged up other words and phrases which they consider to be offensive, all detailed in the link below.

Do these cunts actually get paid for this?

GBNews

Nominated by mystic maven

Are cunts with their reporting of the murder of Brianna Ghey.

Initially reported as 16 year old girl found dead. Now, with the everyone’s favourite cat tray liner, and that comic for 7 year olds, The Sun, they cannot wait to inform us that this poor child was transgender.

But it’s so screamingly obvious that this is, initially, going to be a “homophobic” hate crime, which will result in all the usual weevils crawling out from under their rotting logs and adding twopenny worth of nonsense.

Could anyone, for one bloody moment, stop and think about this child’s family?

Daily Mail

Nominated by Jezzum Priest.

People who feel the need to film their lives so they can post it on social media are cunts,

There are a few of these types, this first type is like the fuckwit in the YouTube link below, who has set up a camera in a public park so she can spout off about her 5k run, hydrating and eating healthy.

Honestly who the fuck cares, also did she really run 5k with a camera and a tripod, I think not.

Anyway a guy comes and sits on a bench in the park, the tart wants our hero to get out of shot, luckily he isn’t in the mood for some bimbos bullshit and gives her a polite fuck off tablet to suck on…. Well done that man.

Next type of cunts are these cockwombles who feel the need to take photos of their meals before eating, make me feel like shouting OIU CUNT Not only is it some vegan shit masquerading as a fucking steak, its also going cold and people are hanging around trying not to be in your poxy picture.

Then of course there are the constant selfie takers, some even have a stick, so they can walk backwards out into traffic, whilst groping at their phones, or doing handstands on the edge of a cliff, natural selection has quite a good ratio of sorting these remm cunts out.

The final types are usually cyclists rigged up with some sort of camera, so they can send any footage they deem fit to plod to get the driver they have just cut up into trouble.

These fuckers edit out all of their bad behaviour before sending footage to the 5-0 or to YouTube. That or they try and make an issue out of a situation that didn’t even happen,,,, step forward Jeremy Vine, OK sit down ya cunt.

Cunts one and all

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

(Epic Selfie Fails here. Day Admin – Pinterest)

(The alleged offender: probably has mental ‘elf isshoos in his defence – Day Admin)

This gangly bell-end creeps around at night looking for a opportunity to spray paint structures.

Hold on maybe it will be a nice picture or mural?
Nope just 10 foot, in big letters.

Step aside Picasso there’s a new man in town.

He went on to brag about all the cities he had defaced and he had been to more places than Phileas Fogg.

So is either a trust fund wanker or a drug dealer. And he steals all the spray paint as well, most probably from small DIY outfits.

The costs to remove said graffiti were staggering and I imagine highly inflated.
100 million in London and a billion for the UK.

Hopefully when he is caught the authorities can use he’s face to scrub the surface clean..

The Sun

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt

And supported by: Supreme Commander Servalan

Britain’s biggest graffiti vandal is ’10 Foot’ UNMASKED

Daily Mail News Link

I nominate this middle class toss Pott.

Would love to spray paint his parents house,then his self-entitled little mush.

Twat.