Vive La France!
Let’s face it; one way or another, 2022 has been a bit of a cunt. Like any other year really. As we approach the festive season, we could all do with a bit of light relief, and who better to provide it than a Frenchman acting the cunt and making an arse of himself?
An unnamed Froggie senior citizen was recently admitted to hospital with (get this) a vintage WW1 shell measuring about 8″ by 2″ stuck up his arse. That’s right; not a butt plug, or a carrot, or a bottle, but a fucking shell.
Needless to say, this set off a major safety incident, with the potential incendiary having to be declared ‘safe’ before some brave medics took it upon themselves to play Russian roulette and remove it.
‘It is believed that the patient inserted it for the purpose of sexual pleasure’, a hospital spokesperson commented. No fucking shit Sherlock. Makes you wonder how many times he’d diced with death doing the same thing over the years.
Perhaps the silly old cunt was just yearning for that truly explosive orgasm we all crave. Could have rectum and left him prostate mind you… **
**I’ll get me coat…
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Nominated by : Ron Knee
** However, from a different perspective there’s these fine ladies,
Happy New Year! – The Admin Team **
I bet the dirty fucker was wanking away when the doctor was pulling it out of his shitty old arse.
Mind, I bet the froggy doctor was as well.
7
The old cunt probably had BUPA, and got a nurse with big tits and a tight little arse to do it for him, with his insurer ‘shelling’ out.
5
Haha indeed CB.
the cunts
3
I know someone who works in an A and E department and this sort of ‘practise’ is not unusual. She’s known people come in with all sorts of stuff that they’ve inserted in their shitboxes: A walking stick, bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup, even a pair of slippers. A certain well-known south of England TV presenter was admitted with an electric toothbrush lodged inside… apparently he accidentally sat on it!
6
What I don’t understand is why people don’t just go to a sex shop or onto Amazon and buy devices that are made to do the job and are as safe to use as they can be.
They come in all sizes so there’s something for everyone.
11
Any product recommendations, Ron?
10
The Terminator 2000.
Black, high density rubber, 30 different attachments,
Spare 24hr battery and guaranteed for 10yrs.
We got one to spice things up,
But mainly use it to get rust off my van chassis or mix mortar.
10
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Vibrator-Vibrations-Vibrating-Silicone-Toys4couples/dp/B0BJZYMDPS/ref=sr_1_37?keywords=Sex+Toys%3B+anal+plugs&qid=1672577128&s=drugstore&sr=1-37
Any number, but these off Amazon are sensational. The wife and I have both got a set.
She’s offered to buy some urethral sounders, but I’m still trying to pluck up the courage.
8
Ron….I dont mind the tip of my wifes finger gently inserted in the tip of my japs eye, but sounding……fuck me, thats brave stuff. Us bloke have enough problems with a weak bladder as we get older…let alone reaming your piss tube out even wider with a lump of iron!
6
😮😯😮😲!!!!
4
Thing is Chuff, the wife’s got what I can only refer to politely as a bit of a dark side.
I think as much as anything, she wants to try them on herself.
5
Never quite understood the thing about shoving things up your pooper the mechanism is for expulsion not insertion
It’s quite enough for me just to get some germaloid cream inside me with my finger when the haemorrhoids play me up.. let alone anything else surely you are just asking for trouble sticking anything else up there?
Baffled by people’s strange habits
Happy new year by the way
5
As a fellow ‘roid rage’ sufferer, I thank the good Lord that I am not a gay.
Trying to shove anything up my, at times, grape filled hoop, would sound like a clown was making balloon animals.
8
I sympathize Cunty the over indulging at Christmas and rich food intake has set my poor butthole into overdrive so the best present I have received from my dear wife was a big tube of germaloid cream
No more painful evacuation and no I don’t relish the thought of anything hard going up there it’s bad enough having a stiff crap!
Lactulose and germaloids a winning combo there
Buddy👍
4
You sound just like my wifes defence….particularly when she’s after money to get her hair done!
2
It’s normal behaviour for europeans and why I don’t see them as human, they use the main sewage pipe of the human body as a playground.
2
Saw a prossie with the end of a leper’s penis stuck up her bumhole. She said to him “Thanks for leaving a tip”
8
Ouch!
4
Guess how much those girls in the picture above weigh.
Absolutely nothing at all. Enjoy.
1
Inert 2 pounder. Most likely a French inter war tank round.
The French are known for rather taking it up the arse than loading it into a breech in the face of the enemy.
3
We’ll have to change our slogan for the next war. “They do like it up ’em”.
6
He’s working his way up gradually…The Eiffel Tower is probably next on his list.
1
while we’re on the subject of men abusing their arseholes I’m very suspicious of these so-called “men” visiting 100% straight female prostitutes aiming to get bummed with a strap-on (“I believe that the term for this aberration is ‘pegging’ M’lud)
Who the fuck are these deviants kidding? Do they think that because a woman involved it is not “gay”.
Man up (literally) you faggots! If you want to be buggered at least get a dirty fucking ‘omo to do it.
3
There was a bit of porn I saw not long ago (Pornhub I think it was) where there was a bloke getting pegged by another bloke who was wearing a strap on. Not quite sure what that was about.
4
It’s amazing what filth one can accidentally stumble across when innocently searching for “gaping milf solos”
3