‘This is one of the things I do stay awake at night about, think about and fear
….the far-right deciding and determining…..a nostalgic vision of Britain that never really existed. It’ll be that warm ale, a black Labrador by your feet in a pub…..a Britain that we don’t want to have and never really existed.’
– Jenny Riddell-Carpenter MP
Minister for Nature, a job that never really existed

Well I have some good news for the porcine 10-pinter. Following your wise comments Jennifer, Councillor Burnham says that the Government will not stand idly by in the face of threats and intimidation by far-right fascist labradors and warm ale.

So black labs, which never really existed, will now be classified as dangerous dogs and the breed banned. There will be a national cull of existing black labs, which don’t exist, and the prisons are being emptied to make way for those owners who refuse to comply.
All CAMRA members, who don’t exist, will be placed on the terrorist watchlist and subjected to daily surveillance.
Furthermore, HMG has now classified the sound of church bells and leather on willow, which never really existed, as far-right and a threat to national security. Churches, village greens and cricket squares henceforth will, by Government edict, resonate to the sound of Call to Prayer 5 times a day in honour of the multicultural utopia they desire.

No one more so than Jenny Riddell-Carpenter, ever since she did her MA in Islamic History. Or does she not really exist?

eadt news

reaction.life

Nominated by Geordie Twatt, additional Link by Sam Beau.

is a cunt.

The refusal to grant bail to Danno Tommo is wrong ; the decision to do so will come back to bite the judiciary and the politicians who engineered this disgraceful decision.
Doubtless, ‘our betters’ were hoping that he would plead guilty when in front of the beak so that he could be given a token sentence.
It has just occurred to me that Danny could use the Colston defence and get set free by a reasonable jury. However, this won’t pay him compensation for five months on remand in jail.

bbcnews

Nominated by Guzziguy Link by Unkle Terry.

Are useful cunts. Maybe C.A.

Spiders, and how to keep them outdoors.

Short answer, you can’t, and why would you if they’re going to eat these infuriating fruit flies that are driving me insane!

The females live indoors mostly, you just don’t see them, while the males do macho stuff outdoors, like hang gliding and abseiling, and probably barbecueing, for all I know.

I was bitterly disappointed by the non-invasion of flying ants. Not a bloody one! I bought insect spray guaranteed to kill anything with wings.
Ha! The fruit flies haven’t got the memo.

Anyway, as you know, I have an aversion to insects, except butterflies and dragonflies.
I don’t even like caterpillars ( yes, I know. It’s like hating babies but quite liking small , well-behaved children ).

I once watched a woolybear, must have been six inches long, hump it way up my drive, the drive is a good car length, the wooly did it in about 3.8 seconds and quite frankly terrified me.

Enjoy your winter guests folks, though there’s one currently taking refuge under my two sofas and frightening the crap out of me when I catch it moving to and fro with the corner of my eye.

aol

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

I refuse to give the hook-nosed old cunt his titles. Arsehole he was, and always has been.

Khan has always denied that London had gtooming gangs,which they plainly had – and have. He was asked by a reporter for a comment, and an apology. That last word was probably too much for the old shitstain, and he refused to comment because he had “no time to spare”. This happened a coiuple of times, but the silly old bastard was so busy,he had tie to talk to the alcoholic dodgy dossier writer, Alistair Campbell. I hope his alcoholic breath made the little brown turd drunk:

aol

Nominated by W C Boggs.

 

Maybe She/he is Trans.C.A.

Call me a cynical, ungrateful cunt, but the ‘heroic’ Whelford farmer deserves a good old ‘look at me’ cunting.
The unknown (at the time of writing) woman has been lauded as a hero in some quarters for calling old bill when she spotted some shifty blokes and their transit vans in the dead of night, outside the perimeter of RAF Fairford.
Well done, you might think.
But it would appear that isn’t enough for our one woman agricultural anti terrorist squad.
She’s also claiming she ‘foiled’ the whole plot.
She’s obviously got herself down as a sort of Bruce Willis in a Barbour jacket and wellies.
At the end of the day, there’s nothing much heroic about seeing someone up to no good and calling the police.
Even a fucking child could do that.
What’s she after, I wonder?
The George Medal? A slot on Celebrity Masterchef?
I’ve seen people develop an ego after years of being told how great they are, but she’s only been in the news 4 hours.
What a self aggrandising old mare!

the sun

Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery.