The gift that keeps on giving.
I’m sure you’ll all be delighted to hear that Danielle has split up with her jailbird fiance, or should that be spelled financer?
But before you all rush forward, thinking your in with a chance, she’s got a new, rich boyfriend.
Whose presumably almost totally blind, 87, with a heart condition.
Good grief, even Frankenstien would call your surgeon a butcher, sweetheart.
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
Wild fires are great aren’t they?
Dead easy to do, spectacular results and keep you warm.
Cheap lighter and a rag,
Your away.????
Now, the woke media are blaming climate change!!
But the fires in Rhodes were started by arson.
Gas bottles.
Now Corfu is on fire
Saying Crete might go up too?
Serbia has a fire
Tunisia has one
It’s like a new fashion?
But it isn’t climate change.
It’s arson.
It’s man made climate change insofar as some dozy cunts BBQ was left to get out of control.
Anyway fuck em.
No fires here.
Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt
The Mayor,
Town Hall,
Tunbridge Wells,
Kent.
Dear Mr Mayor,
I have just received a £70 penalty notice for driving in Mount Pleasant Road. This was entirely due to the confusing signs which would appear to be a deliberate and outrageous policy of the Council to catch out and fine motorists.
As Chairman of the Royal Tunbridge Wells Golf Club, Chairman of the Tunbridge Wells Conservative Association, a Senior Rotarian and Justice of the Peace, will you please confirm that this fine will be dropped and we’ll say nothing more about it?
Yours sincerely,
Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells
PS See you at the next Lodge meeting?
Nominated by : Geordie Twatt
It appears that scores of viewers have abandoned EastEnders. This is because they are pig sick of being lectured every time it’s on. It has been described as ‘unbearably woke’ and ‘virtue signaling’, and examples were given. Greta the Mong mentioned several times, episodes based around veganism, gay pride (again), right wing white ‘Nazis’ planning to bomb a mosque (since fucking when?), climate change and – naturally – Brexit. With that peroxide upright cow Sharon Watts/Mitchell/God Knows comparing Brexit (a referendum result) to Covid (thousands of people dead worldwide). It’s a soap, not a fucking soap box.
But people are really sick of it. From 30 million viewers in the Den and Angie years to a piddling 1 million in 2023. Fucking hell, repeats of Dad’s Army and Steptoe & Son get more viewers than that. Them again, they were good shows.
The latest NeverEnders barrel scraping trick is to bring yet another officially pronounced dead character errr back from the dead. How bloody desperate are they? Cindy and Ian fucking Beale?! Their ludicrous and obscenely woke storylines will hopefully be the beginning of the end for this pathetic woke dogshit.
Nominated by Norman.
Congratulations to George W Bamboo who correctly predicted the demise of BBC Newsreader and foreign correspondent George Alagiah who died today aged 67 following a 9 year battle with bowel cancer.
On to Dead Pool 294
The rules:
1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses nominations from the previous pool.No duplicates allowed.
2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.
3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.
4)No swapping picks mid pool unless already taken by someone else.
5)Hits are awarded based on the chronology of death reporting not necessarily in chronology of death.
