So I’m in the queue to buy fags in Sainsbury’s and there’s always some cunt in front of me ( always a bloke by the way) who wants to buy a “set for life ticket for tomorrow”. What the fuck is this “set for life” bollocks?

So I looked it up and, apparently, you get ten grand a month for thirty years. That’s nice but that ten grand is going to depreciate year on year and what happens when you snuff it? And I hardly think that the likes of Hewitt and Sparkletits are going to notice ten grand going into their bank account.

Bread and circuses my friends, that’s all it is. Absolute bollocks.

National Lottery

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog

Not only is it almost impossible to have an ordinary old-school, face to face chat with your mates/wife/whatever down the local coffee shop/boozer or restaurant thanks to the arrival of mobile phones and screaming bleedin’ kids, but another problem about having a debate with someone is that you run the risk of being “cancelled” should you wander out too far from your interlocutor’s viewpoint!

You only have to inadvertently broach touchy-feely subjects that are close to woke hearts – such as all the usual “isms”, Brexit, the environment, immigration, the NHS and now of course Israel/Palestine, and you can find yourself in a world of shite!

Suddenly, the friends that you’ve known for years become rather more animated and vocal if you go down any of those dark and twisty roads. Everything has become politicised, and if you’re not on the same side then you’re seen as part of the problem, friend or not!

This is even more apparent/dangerous in work environments. I’m self employed and therefore don’t have to put up with the usual 9-5 scenario of working for someone else. But I have been to customer sites and office workers have often asked me my views on certain subjects. But I have always made an excuse and diverted attention away from such things because I know it will all kick off if I hold the wrong opinion.

We’re all aware of politicians and celebrities ending up being cancelled for similar reasons; but now it seems us mere mortals may face a similar fate, especially if it’s splashed around on a so-called friend’s social media page. All of a sudden you’re name is mud and people just don’t want to know you any more.

Society is becoming ever more fragmented right down to friend & family level..It’s come to a point where even suggesting to a friend about having a Full English breakfast can lead to an outbreak of war just because you like bacon and sausage!

“Good morning!”
“Fuck off and die you animal-murdering fascist!”

Nominated by Technocunt.

Let’s have a bipartisan cunting for Republicunt / Uniparty, Senator Lindsey Graham and Demonrat / Squad Member Rashida Tlaib of the US House.

Long known as a Uniparty Hack, Graham’s disgraceful outburst against a Newsmax reporter who had the audacity to ask a relevant question at a news conference shows just how despicable this self promoting Cunt really is.

David Cohen is an Israeli reporter with dual US citizenship working for Newsmax. He and his family live in Israel and he showed up to the farcical, bipartisan dog and pony show by a delegation of US Senators.

After listening to the obligatory Hamas bad / Palestinians good remarks by the assembled clown show, he had the audacity to ask why no one is willing to condemn US Representative Rashida Tlaib for her hateful diatribes and her constant spewing of propaganda in support of the Palestinians.

As you can see from the clip that really twisted Lindsey’s panties and he demanded the reporter be removed, much to the delight of the “Bipartisan” Demonrat Senators Dick Blumenthal and Ben Cardin who were on either side of the Senator with the twisted panties:

NewsMax

After regaining his composure the disgraceful senator justified his remarks by saying (and I’m paraphrasing) that he was just so upset over the whole situation in Israel that he didn’t have time for anyone spoiling his carefully orchestrated Kumbaya moment by asking relevant questions.

For the record Rashida Tlaib is a Plaestinian member of the US House of Representatives who has been spewing Hamas talking points by claiming Israel is bombing hospitals and targeting the innocent children of the brave Palestinian Freedom fighters.

She led an insurrection in the US Capital building with protesters masquerading as Jews for the liberation of Palestine. (But fear not there will be no Jan. 6 style committee to railroad her or her followers):

Fox News

There can be no greater demonstration of the Uniparty corruption that plagues my nation’s capital than a self proclaimed “conservative’ Senator refusing to address
the the propaganda and antisemitic remarks made by a self proclaimed Squad member at a fucking tress conference to show support for Israel.

Once again, we are through the looking class cunters.

Lindsey Graham and Rashida Tlaib …a match spawned in Hell.

I hope they can spend eternity there together…soon.

Fucking cunts!

Zeus save us!

Nominated by: General Cuntster

Based on an extremely limited sampling of the product, I’ve come to the conclusion that Viagra can be a cunt, and I offer IsAC followers a health warning.

So what’s the story? Well, it started last Saturday, after I met my pal Big Al for a refreshment. ‘Here Ron’, says he, ‘have you ever tried Viagra?’. ‘No’, says I, ‘why are you asking? Have you then?’.

‘Yeah’ says he. ‘Got some from the chemist. Honestly it’s fucking brill. Makes you like a baseball bat. Listen, I’ve brought you a few. Go on, try it’. ‘Well, I don’t know’, says I doubtfully. ‘I don’t think I need it, and I wouldn’t feel confident about using it unless on a doctor’s advice’. ‘You don’t need a bloody prescription’, he persists. ‘You’ll feel like you’re eighteen again, straight up *phnarr phnarr*. The wife’ll love it’.

So I took them, and tried one the following evening. I can indeed report that it was like being eighteen again, and my knob did indeed feel like a baseball bat. Sadly the trouble started a couple of nights later, when I took another one. After a bit of fooling about with the wife, my knob didn’t feel so much like a baseball bat but a telegraph poll, and a bastard aching one at that.

Well I waited for things to slacken off a bit, but they didn’t, and the pain got worse. After an hour, I was starting to sweat cobblestones. ‘This is that twat Al’s fault’ says I, groaning. ‘You can’t blame Alan’, says the wife. ‘He didn’t twist your arm. I’ll have a look on the internet’.

After the checking came the verdict. ‘If it lasts longer than four hours, get advice from the NHS line or go to A and E’. ‘Oh ffs’ says I, ‘can you imagine going to A and E like this?’.

So began an agonising wait. An hour passes. An hour and a half. I discover that an ice pack is no help. Finally, as the two hour mark passes, the pain starts to ease, and my steel boner begins to subside, much to my relief.

Now I’m sure that over the years, Viagra’s helped many a punter keep his hopes up, but it’ll be a long day before I go near the stuff again, and if I need to, only on medical advice. I’m not trying to put the wind up anybody; all I’m saying is ‘gae canny’ with this stuff. You don’t want to end up pole-vaulting through the window.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

The arse-crawling over their new album ‘Hackney Diamonds’ has been horrible to witness.

Yes, they once were great. But 1978’s ‘Some Girls’ was their last really great album.

Of course, everything they have put out since then gets the knee-jerk accolade ‘Their best since Some Girls’.

Only thing is, it isn’t. Hackney Diamonds is mostly crap. But cunts are falling over themselves for it. Some – hipsters and millennial cunts – are doing it to appear ‘cool’ and to make out they have a knowledge of real rock ‘n’roll. Others are praising it out of sentimental sympathy, because of the death of Charlie Watts. All that crap,’Awww! Isn’t it great that they are still together?’

Well, no, it isn’t. It’s very sad and almost pathetic to see Mick and Keef still doddering around hoovering up the moolah with the Rolling Stones ‘brand’ when all the other members are either long since departed or dead.

This is a band that really was great and who put the fear of God into the press and the authorities in the 1960s. A reminder of what they once were…

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Norman