(Fuck to using a Mathew Perry pic our Jennifer is far more appealing. C.A.)

(Goatfuck – originally a WWII US military term for operational chaos later morphed into a shorthand for journalists and photographers climbing over each other with ladders to get a story. We make no allegations of a porn type nature. The term references goats climbing over each other in sexual frenzy)

Started over the weekend, newsflashes with dramatic music showing helicopters revolving over a house being besieged by police patrol cars and over excited reporters.

Then the usual quotes, “Tributes pouring in”, “World’s Greatest Comic”, “Comedic star of Friends, tragic loss”, “Death in pool”, “Death in hot tub”, “Tsunami of Grief” then name attached “Matthew Perry dead at 54, Jennifer Aniston inconsolable”.

Sense of relief to get the name but also deeply puzzled. To me helicopters whirling over house = Cliff Richard, death in pool = Michael Barrymore, “Worlds Greatest Comic” = Bob Hope/Max Wall/Your Choice but definitely not Perry.

But Matthew Perry?? Who the F?, What the F? And so it continues, leading on Early Morning News soft shit shows “Tragic Soul”, “Battle with Drugs”, “Just out of Rehab”, “Police confirm death by drowning”.

So there you have it, another druggy minor showbiz cunt who can’t hack it. Why has that common event knocked all other news off the telly? Is it summertime silly season when there is not much news about and the media insert lots of trivia?

Forgive me but this is October so what about ethnic cleansing in Ukraine and other Rooskie shite, a certain kerfuffle in Israel, ongoing climate disasters in Argentina, India and a little local flooding and storms devastating Blighty? Storm Ciaran ba ba boom.

Perhaps I am missing something. I often do. Is Matthew Perry the Messiah in mufti , Is Jennifer Aniston actually pregnant, or is it a Virgin Birth and they are just Friends?. Boom boom.

Call me a cynical old cunt but I do have a little experience in such matters. American comedy shows are legendarily written by a team of gag writers. They put the funny lines in the mouths of the actors and the directors rehearse them for camera and position them and give then the all important timing without which nothing is funny (in a good way).

Bob Hope is a good example, humourless in life he was totally reliant on his teams of gag writers and cue cards who travelled with him around the world.

There was that wonderful moment (available on YouTube) when he was hosting a Miss World Contest live on TV and the fems invaded and stole his cue cards. Old Bawb was reduced to a shambling shell unable to think of anything to fill in.

Director had to pull the plugs until Bawb is rehearsed into a new script. The only thing that makes Bawb stand out against other comics is that he did not top himself and lived to 100.

I know. I had the cunt in the pool.

Bbc news

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

Here are the two non-phobias the fake ones made up to shut down discussion and enforced ruthlessly by the Plods and fascist-left going after soft targets who won’t riot or call them waaaayycist or “phobic”, while the real cunts get a free pass, unless it really cannot be swept under the carpet as it’s too visible.

To whit:-

A phobia is an IRRATIONAL fear, these two are clearly bogus.

1. Islamophobia, how is it “irrational” to fear being attacked, injured, raped, kidnapped, mutilated, blood-libelled and beheaded by these cunts.

Everything now revolves around not offending the cunts and abasing ourselves making apologies for hating everything about their perverted prophet and sick religion of death, demonstrated amply by the hordes of cock-suckers-for-Palestine terrorising all and sundry. Perhaps the word IslamoNAUSEA is more appropriate, we’re sick of it and the perverted psychopathic cunts who promote it.

2. Transphobia. The latest sacred cow of the deranged LGBTQWERTYPLUSVAT and their leftist, Islington middle-class camp followers.

No-one “fears” cunts like Eddie Izzsoft in his lippy and matching granny outfit. He’s a figure of self-imposed ridicule, who when you snigger at the old granny, accuses you of a “phobia”.

The fear is genuine when the Cult of Trans grooms and damages naïve and immature young children or mentally ill misogynistic men, accuse us of “phobias” when we object to these sick perverts invading spaces intended for real women. Worse still when the PlodCunts go after anyone who objects to cock-in-frock predators being indulged in their fantasies putting women and children in danger.

Right, those are the two FAKE “phobias, here is a REAL phobia, one that is completely irrational:

1 Judeophobia or Jewphobia. Also known as Israphobia and Ziophobia.

Jews pose no threat and never have. It’s all made up shit by ignorant cunts looking for a scapegoat for their own fucking failure, 3500 years worth of shit because Jews wouldn’t convert to their version of God bothering.

The demonstrations by cock-suckers-for-Palestine and sundry other cunts, threatening Jews and Israel for fucking defending themselves, after Hamas Nazis killed over 1400 civilians including babies, just for being Israeli and or Jews shows the cunts for what they are.

At least the fucking Nazis hid their crimes, the Hamas PaliCunts videoed and live-streamed to show how proud they were killing and raping for their fucking religion as written in their little book of death.

A POX on the lot of them.

Sorry Admin, if this is a bit long, have mercy and grant this sincere and well deserved cunting.(No worries, Mate. Good concise nom – Day Admin)

Youtube

Nominated by Sheikh Anvakh.

Apparently, this quote was attributed to Winston Churchill. I always think of this quote, and today was when it hit the hardest.

I was at a till, paying for some food, when a man pushed his hand past my back to get something. I pointed out that there was no need for that, and he responded with a torrent of abuse.

I quickly determined from his behaviour and appearance that he was probably a drug dealer, so I moved away. I was shaken by the fact he was probably a criminal, but more so disturbed by the fact he had his son with him.

These cunts are breeding. This cunt will turn his child into an extension of himself, and he will probably be a cunt too. No doubt he uses the poor boy to do things for him.

I have known this for a while and seen many other cases, but this one is one of the most stark and sobering.

What a terrible world we live in.

Nominated by: Angryman

Archyde.com

With a fascinating link supported by: Herman Jelmet

I have a real hate for daft cunts who can’t speak properly and use ridiculous made up words. There’s the horrible wigga twats spouting shite like ‘Wifey’ ‘Famz’ ‘Hollibobs’ and the like for a start.?

And now wankers are using the term the Metaverse. There is no such fucking thing and no such word. Some cunt has recently made it up. But now loads of mongs online are using it, just to appear clever. And that’s another thing: bellends who use words to make out they are smart when they aren’t.

That musical tree fairy Taylor Swift does it all the time. Thinks she can elevate a disposable and crap pop song into high art by cramming it with words like narcissism and altruism. Glaringly obvious it’s forced and a miserable attempt to look like a serious songwriter.

But ‘ordinary’ people are bad for it too. Some knob last week asked me if I thought the ‘new’ Beatles (apologies for mentioning them again) single was ‘canon’.

I pointed out that – first of all – the Beatles were a rock band. Not part of some sad cunt magnet cinematic universe, like Marvel or Star Wars.

I then said, do I think this new record is authentic and a genuine collaboration between all four members of the band? No, because two of them are long dead. They ceased to exist as a group in 1970.

The pillock replied,’That’s what I was trying to ask.’

But he didn’t ask properly. Canon…. For fuck’s sake…?

No link. Just me witnessing these pricks.?

Nominated by: Norman

(Gen Zed Word Up Shite – Day Admin)

Oh what a gay day!.. Time I think to offer duckie congratulations to the darling of the Champagne Socialists, and to Mr. Reinaldo Avila da Silva in particular for finally making an honest woman of Mrs daSilva.

Belfast Telegraph

You might think that this late entry into matrimony might signal the end of the slimy buggers political career, but don’t you believe it – prominent at the wedding was Anthony Blair, who can never resist a free piss-up,and of course both he and the blushing bride are great friends of the Blair wannabe Starmer. Ominous that both have clambered back into the limelight at the time when Starmer looks a show-in for the big job.

Meanwhile, I am sure they re enjoying a really bona honeymoon, inspecting each others rings, with the honeymoon suite smelling of roses, KY Jelly and hemorrhoidal ointment. What a pity it wasn’t a summer wedding during the cricket season and young (51) Reinaldo could have taken his pensioner wife up the Oval.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs