A slightly leftfield cunting but one that I’m sure a few cunters can relate to and appreciate. Especially our own Miserable Northern Cunt who I believe, holds the garden gate very close to his heart.

People who don’t, can’t or won’t close a gate behind them are a Cunt.

I have a front garden and a back garden gate which are both wooden and built by yours truly.

Really quite solidly made (even if I say so myself) with with decent enough wood, hinges and the other neccesary accessories.

They both get a couple of coats of weather protection each year as well.

So why can’t cunts close them?

It’s more than a bit horrible and windy up here during the winter months and I’ve just carried out a few repairs to my front and back gates but these repairs aren’t due to the weather.

I have a fairly large extended family of in laws and the likes and about half of them seem incapable of closing a gate. Leaving it open and swinging wildly in the wind while they stroll down the path. Or they just walk out of the garden, fuck off and leave the gate swaying around like an abandoned tart on a street corner.

Not just family either but certain delivery drivers and Postie’s also don’t seem capable of making sure my gate is closed properly after they have fucked off.

I’ve even reluctantly placed a small sign on the gate saying “Please Close Me”
Maybe I should have “Cunt” on the end of the sentence.

I’ve tried those self closing springs before but I’m not a fan, find them quite destructive and they’re dangerous to inquisitive kids fingers. So they’re out.

Do I sound like a miserable cunt who needs to find something else to worry about?

Ok. Well fuck off then and don’t forget to close my gate properly behind you.

Struggled for a suitable link to accompany this but found this recent story from the good old Guardian. Try not to give them any money if they ask mind…

Grauniad Link.

Nominated by : Herman Jelmet

I am sure we have read the appalling headlines of how three innocent people were attacked and killed by paranoid schizophrenic, Valdo Calocane.

Now it wold be too easy to have this nomination aimed directly at Calocane. However, it would seem the medical authorities knew he was a threat to the public years before the attack, and yet was still left to roam the streets. And therefore if his medical condition is actually true, then the blame, and hence this nom, be aimed at him.

Instead, it is aimed at the usual suspects – the police, the local authority, psychiatrists, social services, and the Crown Prosecution Service. All of whom allegedly failed not only to protect the three victims, but the public at large and of course Calocane himself.

The Judge sentenced Calocane to life in a high security mental hospital rather than prison. These attacks were not premeditated murders, just the lesser crime of manslaughter. The ironic thing is that Calocane should have been placed in a secure institution right from the very diagnosis of his condition. But that’s a different story!

Anyway, just like with the current Post Office/Horizon scandal, everyone at the top is blaming everyone else. They’re all admitting failings to their respective systems and lessons must be learned, yawn! But these failings are happening far too often, and nothing ever seems to change for the better!

Meanwhile, families are mourning their loved ones, with lots of questions still unanswered. Calocane may well spend the rest of his life in a hospital receiving specialist medical care (courtesy of the TP).

But then again, knowing how fucked up our judicial system is, he could ask for early release after 10 years, declaring himself no longer a danger to society. And the dumb cunts in charge will fall for it and let him go. And guess what will happen next !!??

And let’s not go down the race road, as some of the Far Left Wing media are trying to contort!

Bbc news

Update – I said in my nom that Calocane could be released after 10 years!

My error – he could be considered after only 3 years!!

It just gets better doesn’t it!

telegraph

Nominated by Technocunt.

And on the subject of early release for nutjobs, here’s another example from Jeezum Priest

Humphrey Burke.

The lunatics ARE in charge of the asylum.

Two years ago, the delightful Mr. Burke, a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic was sentenced to be held indefinitely in a secure hospital, after kicking a female custody officer in the head so hard, she died of her catastrophic brain injuries two days later. He pled guilty to manslaughter by diminished responsibility.

After just two years, Mr. Burke is free and has been seen shopping and at a gym.

Is this reminding you of anything?
Valdo Calacane, a diagnosed schizophrenic, who pled guilty due to etc, etc.

The papers all expressed horror, saying Valdo could be released in as little as three years.

Got that wrong, didn’t you. More likely two years!

Why don’t you cunts try campaigning for murderous nutters never to be freed, eh? Instead of the soft shite you usually get all het up about.

Daily Mail

This isn’t going to make me popular, but I think it’s about time Brexit was nominated. Let’s be honest lads (and lasses) it’s been a disaster.

Our economy is in the toilet (albeit Covid hasn’t helped with that either). We can no longer turn the small boats back to France due to the fact we now lack an agreement to do so.

Trade checks cost an absolute fortune… Hell, we haven’t even managed to replicate all of our previous trade deals yet. I still maintain it could’ve worked had a solid plan been in place, but as of right now I fail to see how it has benefitted us in any way, shape or form. It hurts to say it but nothing is gained by refusing to face up to the problems it’s caused.

Bbc news

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt.

We like to think that we can accommodate many opinions on here O/C, yours is very welcome. my two pence worth is that lousy politicians fucked it up when they refused to implement it. C.A.

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s unsubstantiated and untrue myths in popular culture.

There are loads of them, and most of them are totally untrue ridiculous. Ones that spring to mind include…

Pete Best being a better drummer than Ringo.

David Jason being the Pete Best of Monty Python.

Marianne Faithfull and the ‘Mars Bar’ story.

The ’27 Club’ being more than coincidence.

Kit Marlow and/or that Earl of Oxford wrote the Shakespere plays.

Robin Friday was a better footballer than George Best.

Pink Floyd went shit after Syd Barrett left.

All the Paul is dead bollocks.

Walt Disney is frozen.

Some cunt saying some nameless guitarist they saw in 1966 was better than Jimi Hendrix.

Cunts only say/believe in this stuff to appear different to other people, and to make out they know something other people don’t.

‘But Robin Friday was better than George Best.’

Bollocks. Friday wasn’t as good as Stan Bowles, never mind Bestie.

BuzzFeed

Nominated by: Norman

In the old days, a 7′ or 12′ single record would have an A-Side and a B-Side.
And, in the 90s, a CD single had four tracks on them.

But now a single comes out with just one song on it. It emphasises how lazy and how greedy the music industry has become. And most of the big names are guilty.

In recent years the Rolling Stones, the Stone Roses, U2, and Liam Gallagher have put singles out, with a weak or substandard song on the A-Side and nothing on the other side. And the cunts charge well over a tenner for it.

They try to fob off record buyers by making out the record is unique and ‘limited’.
‘But… But it has an ‘etched’ B-Side.’ Who gives a toss about that? Where is the song on the B-Side? It’s a blatant rip off and a complete piss take. Over ten quid for a mediocre one sided one song record is ridiculous. Also, what artist worth their salt can’t muster up an extra song for the other side of a single? They simply can’t
be arsed or don’t give a fuck.

The Beatles have their faults and that overhyped ‘last’ record was tiresome. But at least the old cunts put a B-side onto it. But others don’t care about fans or ripping them off. The Liam Gallagher/John Squire one is but one example of this type of modern music industry robbery…

what records

Nominated by Norman.