
I love little Nic Nic. Like Corbyn and Davey, she’s one of those politicians that just keep on giving; a gift to cunters everywhere, so I make no apologies for sticking a size ten boot in again.
She’s not got her troubles to seek right now. Already up to her dirty thick neck in the scandal surrounding the SNP’s financial shenanigans, she’s now beset by accusations of trying to frustrate the investigations of the UK Covid-19 Inquiry.
The inquiry has been told that Sturgeon has deleted all WhatsApp messages relating to the handling of the pandemic, in spite of previously commiting to hand over all correspondence.
Scots Tory leader Douglas Ross has stated that ‘Sturgeon and John Swinney have huge questions to answer over their conduct’. Chipping in his two penn’orth, Scots Lib Dem leader Alex Cole-Hamilton made no bones about his belief that Sturgeon had destroyed vital evidence. He stated ‘this is rotten to the core. Everyone knew from the start that there would be a public enquiry, so to delete messages on an industrial scale is shameful. Even Nixon didn’t destroy the Watergate tapes’.
So first it was Salmondgate. Then it was Campervangate. Now it’s Covidgate. I’m really not looking forward with much enthusiasm to Legohead’s autobiography. Who wants to part with cash for a 700 page book, 600 of which are blank, and the remainder heavily redacted?
Sturgeon is about as much good as a nine-bob note. A Scottish one at that.
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Nominated by Ron Knee.
Below follows a beautiful piece of prose by Geordie Twatt.
I’d like to second Ron’s nomination of yesterday with a short parable entitled ‘The room at the top of the house’.
Once upon a time there lived a family called Mr and Mrs Albion and their daughter Nicola, who was born with a chip on her shoulder. Their house used to be very grand, in fact the grandest in the street, but the Albions weren’t so rich now and their house was falling down..
When Nicola became a teenager she started getting very stroppy and demanded to leave home. To placate her, Mr and Mrs Albion said Nicola could have the room at the top of the house for herself. So that’s where she lived, but rather than being grateful she became more and more rude to and critical of her parents, and always wanted more money from them which they gave her.
Her friends wanted to help, so they clubbed together and lent some money to Nicola for a deposit on a flat, so she could move out and live independently of her parents. But Nicola didn’t really want to move out, she enjoyed the comforts of home too much, so instead she spent the money on herself. Her friends were annoyed and told the Police who said they would investigate where the money had gone, but they were just pretending.
Rather than looking after the room at the top of the house, Nicola turned it into an unruly mess. She didn’t fancy clearing up her own mess, which she blamed on her parents, so she abandoned it and went back to her old bedroom.
Mrs and Mrs Albion were getting very short of money now, so they decided to rent the room at the top of the house to Mr Yousaf. Unfortunately he turned out to be just as bad as Nicola, and instead of contributing to the household budget he became a drain on it. One day he asked the Albions if a member of his family could came and stay with them, and being very kind-hearted they said ‘yes’. Later more members of the Yousaf family came to live in the Albions’ house, but this time without asking.
Eventually every room in the house was occupied by members of the Yousaf family, all of them living off the Albions, who were having to work harder and harder to pay for them all. Eventually Mr and Mrs Albion died from overwork and exhaustion, and Nicola was pleased because, truth be told, she had always hated her parents.
‘We can all live happily ever after now without my horrible parents’ said Nicola to Mr Yousaf. Unfortunately the Yousafs had other ideas. ‘This is our house now, and you’re not welcome’ said Mr Yousaf as he threw Nicola out of the house.
Nicola had lost her friends, her parents and her house, and in her mind it was all the fault of her parents. All she had left now as she wandered the streets alone was the chip on her shoulder.