Nicola Sturgeon (31)

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I love little Nic Nic. Like Corbyn and Davey, she’s one of those politicians that just keep on giving; a gift to cunters everywhere, so I make no apologies for sticking a size ten boot in again.

She’s not got her troubles to seek right now. Already up to her dirty thick neck in the scandal surrounding the SNP’s financial shenanigans, she’s now beset by accusations of trying to frustrate the investigations of the UK Covid-19 Inquiry.

The inquiry has been told that Sturgeon has deleted all WhatsApp messages relating to the handling of the pandemic, in spite of previously commiting to hand over all correspondence.

Scots Tory leader Douglas Ross has stated that ‘Sturgeon and John Swinney have huge questions to answer over their conduct’. Chipping in his two penn’orth, Scots Lib Dem leader Alex Cole-Hamilton made no bones about his belief that Sturgeon had destroyed vital evidence. He stated ‘this is rotten to the core. Everyone knew from the start that there would be a public enquiry, so to delete messages on an industrial scale is shameful. Even Nixon didn’t destroy the Watergate tapes’.

So first it was Salmondgate. Then it was Campervangate. Now it’s Covidgate. I’m really not looking forward with much enthusiasm to Legohead’s autobiography. Who wants to part with cash for a 700 page book, 600 of which are blank, and the remainder heavily redacted?

Sturgeon is about as much good as a nine-bob note. A Scottish one at that.

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Nominated by Ron Knee.

Below follows a beautiful piece of prose by Geordie Twatt.

I’d like to second Ron’s nomination of yesterday with a short parable entitled ‘The room at the top of the house’.

Once upon a time there lived a family called Mr and Mrs Albion and their daughter Nicola, who was born with a chip on her shoulder. Their house used to be very grand, in fact the grandest in the street, but the Albions weren’t so rich now and their house was falling down..

When Nicola became a teenager she started getting very stroppy and demanded to leave home. To placate her, Mr and Mrs Albion said Nicola could have the room at the top of the house for herself. So that’s where she lived, but rather than being grateful she became more and more rude to and critical of her parents, and always wanted more money from them which they gave her.

Her friends wanted to help, so they clubbed together and lent some money to Nicola for a deposit on a flat, so she could move out and live independently of her parents. But Nicola didn’t really want to move out, she enjoyed the comforts of home too much, so instead she spent the money on herself. Her friends were annoyed and told the Police who said they would investigate where the money had gone, but they were just pretending.

Rather than looking after the room at the top of the house, Nicola turned it into an unruly mess. She didn’t fancy clearing up her own mess, which she blamed on her parents, so she abandoned it and went back to her old bedroom.

Mrs and Mrs Albion were getting very short of money now, so they decided to rent the room at the top of the house to Mr Yousaf. Unfortunately he turned out to be just as bad as Nicola, and instead of contributing to the household budget he became a drain on it. One day he asked the Albions if a member of his family could came and stay with them, and being very kind-hearted they said ‘yes’. Later more members of the Yousaf family came to live in the Albions’ house, but this time without asking.

Eventually every room in the house was occupied by members of the Yousaf family, all of them living off the Albions, who were having to work harder and harder to pay for them all. Eventually Mr and Mrs Albion died from overwork and exhaustion, and Nicola was pleased because, truth be told, she had always hated her parents.

‘We can all live happily ever after now without my horrible parents’ said Nicola to Mr Yousaf. Unfortunately the Yousafs had other ideas. ‘This is our house now, and you’re not welcome’ said Mr Yousaf as he threw Nicola out of the house.

Nicola had lost her friends, her parents and her house, and in her mind it was all the fault of her parents. All she had left now as she wandered the streets alone was the chip on her shoulder.

54 thoughts on “Nicola Sturgeon (31)”

  1. Up to her neck in greasy finacial activities while preaching the opposite.

    After all the things she has “achieved” she’ll be remembered in history for borrowing a dreadful pikey campervan and making 600k vanish.

    Bless her.

  2. You have to admire the raw genius of wee kranky, telling the Scots that she would be taking all of the north sea oil revenue off of the English.

    Completely missing the fact that most North sea oil fields are owned by private companies who are based abroad.

    The thick cunt.

    • As per Ron’s parable, the coppers aren’t really interested. Senior plod too webbed up with the SNP hierarchy. They all know each other, probably through Masonic and Orange Lodges.

  5. A perfect example of how power corrupts the weak and incompetent.

    A screechy, ginger, militant mouse. A skilled rabble rouser, uniting many Scots in their hatred for the English and Westminster and thats where her talent ends. No more of a leader than Kermit the Frog.

    Fuck off.

    • The wife’s just peered over my shoulder and caught sight of the picof Der Krankmeister up top.

      Her observation?

      ‘Hmmm… I thought she’d have a bigger cock’.

  7. Sturgeon is a shining example of why devolution was a bad idea.
    You end up with regional tin pot dictators who in the old days would’ve been nothing more than local councillors, and two bob ones at that.
    She did her level best to defy Boris during covid, whatever our thoughts on the rights and wrongs.
    And after she and Salmond before her promised jocks a nationalist utopia, they’ve ended up with a park key in charge, and no fucker likes them, wether they’re Scottish nationalists or not.

  8. From the Tony Blair school of politics promise the world, line your pockets, fuck everyone and the country over then deny and ignore everything. In other words a CONSISTENTLY USELESS NARCISSISTIC TWAT in short a cunt.

    • I must say whoever picked out that header pic?

      Bravo👏

      Hahaha 😂

      Thanks Mis C.A.

  9. Good Morning

    Shakespeare reincarnated Paul, I couldn’t put it better.
    It is difficult to believe how she went unchallenged for so long. The only time I saw her put on the ropes was when Andrew Neill interviewed her during the 2019 election campaign other wise everyone who should have held the bitch to account were sycophants.

  10. The wicked little Cunt will never see the inside of a jail cell.

    Our own set of Cunts in Westminster would never allow it,despite loathing the seething commie bitćh,as it would be seen as undermining “the institutions of government”…which they pretend are beyond reproach.

    Krankie is just another turd on the filthy dung heap.

    Oven.

  11. geordies piece of text needs to be displayed on huge bill boards all over the country. Excellent work Sir.

  12. I am not sure what it is about top women politicians but I often find them to be hot and sexy creatures of fantasy. It doesn’t seem to matter how evil and corrupt they are, that just adds to their attraction. Nazi Nicola, Strict Auntie Ursula, Money Mad Rachel, Sword Wielding Penny. I suppose it all started with brush waving Maggie. I was at an impressionable age.

    Good morning, everyone.

    • Penny Mordaunt’s a strapping lass. As my Scots brother in law would say, ‘she’d keep ye arf the’ grass’.

  13. No wonder fatty blackford stood down as snp leader in the commons, he knew the shit was going to hit the fan.

    He was the treasurer for them ( 1 year ..! ) so he saw how dodgy their finances where.

  14. The irn Bru Ronnie Biggs.

    Her autobiography will be in the true crime section.

    She’s gone uncharacteristically quiet hasn’t she?

    For a gobshite like her to be accused and innocent,
    Think she’d be shouting foul from the rooftops?

    We all take things from work,
    Normally with the bosses consent.
    A tool , a hi-vis, office supplies,etc
    But 60grand?!!

    Fuckin ell!!!

      • £325k a week and he acts like that.

        That is United’s problem; paying shit players incredibly high wages then finding nobody will pay them when the manager wants them gone.

    • Belfast is not a great place to keep a low profile if you are of the sooty variety. Sooty is rare as hens teeth in those parts.

      Bet it was Belfasts only gay bar.

  16. Fandabidozee can entertain the lags if she does some chokey,can just see the razor cut ginger hardmen cheering enthusiastically to her in the Christmas panto 🥳…….’och aye wee Jimmy show us your cock’

  18. She finally got found out, after years of crying ‘independence’ and ‘referendum’ the vacuum that was underneath was exposed and Lego Head was replaced by P*ki Man who seems to like the word white or too white.
    The question, who will be next.

  19. To think that there were certain dimwitted cunts south of the border who said during the whole Covid debacle that oor wee Nicola, despite behaving like a power crazed member of the Third Reich, was showing “great leadership” and that arch tosspot Boris Johnson could perhaps “learn a thing or two from her” etc etc etc.

    Those quotes came from people I know, or at least I thought I knew anyways.

    They haven’t aged well.

    Good Morning

    • That cunt needs to fully step in front of a speeding train. I’m not going to qualify which cunt, they’re both deserving.

      • The irony is that in spite of all the SNP stink, the haggis and misty mountains brigade will still turn out in droves to vote for them come the election.

        They’ll excuse anything if it just gets them to the Promised Land.

      • I wish some cunt would force them into independence so they could just stfu. They wouldn’t last a week but that’s their fucking problem.

  21. I am amazed that the muppets in charge are allowed to use WhatsApp. This alone says a lot about their level of intelligence.

    Buy a burner like a regular criminal!

    Spatics.

  23. Being a jock myself , feel free to sympathize as I live in a third world rat hole, I can honestly say most people ,if not all, I talk to detest this little mackerel scented cunt more than any other living creature. Putin, xi xi pingpong,fatboy in North Korea, are all better received than krankie.

    She should be doing hard labour on that island bombed with anthrax during WW2 .

  24. Hang on a minute has anyone watched any of those 24 Hours in Police Custody type programs?

    Every time they bust a dealer they’re always able to recover deleted messages from any app.

    They’ve even been able to crack those encrypted phones that cost tens of thousands.

    Nah I’m not having that.

    Yet again the public are being taken for mugs.

  25. As our Edward Wallace would say, probably already said it, off with her head!

    I hope justice is served with this one.

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