Stephen Fry [4]

stephen_fry_and_alan_davies_679705

The time has come to give arch cunt and “national treasure” Stephen Fry another major cunting.

First he publishes a book in which he admits (some might say “boasts of”) possessing and using cocaine almost continually between the mid-80s and the late 90s.

Then on Newsnight he suggests that the police have no business arresting him because the offences took place a long time ago and that the only person he ever hurt was himself, drawing a spurious comparison with Jimmy Savile as if to say “Look, I only snorted Bolivian marching powder, I never fucked kids”. Well, here’s something Quite Interesting, Fry – the law is quite clear about the penalty for possession of Class A drugs: a maximum of seven years imprisonment and/or an unlimited fine. And what makes you think you’re above the law, you smug, hateful, arrogant cunt?

Then, having warmed to the subject of historical sex abuse cases, Fry added “do we have to name the rock stars that we think almost certainly had sex with fourteen year old children? But those fourteen year old girls were so proud of it that they wouldn’t for a minute call themselves ‘victims’.”

The point is, you despicable ignorant wanker, fourteen year olds are not emotionally or intellectually equipped to make decisions or judgements like that – THAT IS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THE AGE OF CONSENT, YOU FUCKING RETARD: IT EXISTS TO PROTECT IMMATURE CHILDREN FROM EXPLOITATION BY ADULTS. Presumably the cunt Fry also imagines that all those eleven, twelve and thirteen year old girls in Rotherham were so thrilled by the attention of older Asian men with cars that they were “proud” to be gangraped in grotty rooms above takeaway restaurants? This cunt needs stoning to death outside the BBC. I fucking despise him.

Let’s hope Plod comes knocking on Fry’s door soon and he’s charged for fifteen years worth of Class A possession. With his latest utterances, the fat cunt has significantly expanded both the breadth and depth of his odious cuntitude

Nominated by: Fred West

Cyclists [2]

ctc_wingd11

Cyclists. Not the Joe average out in the woods with the kids for a Sunday afternoon peddling into heart attack country and a plethora of snapped ligaments, but the type called the “club riders” who congregate in packs in the local B&Q car parks like wasps around a discarded ice cream cone, or more aptly, flies around a steaming turd.

Clad in budgie smugglers, gaudy dayglo lycra tops, avacado helmets and rainbow glasses, they look for all the world like a pack of neon-nazis (which they are).

When enough of the pack have assembled, usually around the busiest time on the road, they fly off into the traffic and create a defence formation that Pardew could only dream of. Often five abreast to prevent anyone overtaking them, they will then proceed at a sedate pace creating a build up of pissed off motorists behind them. God help anyone who encounters them on a B road, expect scratches to your paintwork as they undertake you. Cream one of them, whilst trying to avoid driving into a ditch and they will always ensure there are plenty of witnesses to say it was your fault.

Don’t even think of getting out into the countryside to avoid them, guaranteed that a whole hive of them will apppear out of nowhere and force you off the road.

All in all, a bunch of selfish cunts.

Nominated by: Toadspanker

Sky News

Picture by Mark Richards-Brenda Leyland, troll who has alledgedly attacked the McCanns on Twitter.

If ever there was a bunch of cunts who deserve a proper good cunting, it’s the cunts at Sky News.

Ever vigilant for the opportunity to make up a good story out of fuck all, Sky sent it’s ace reporter Martin Brunt scouring the pages of the Leicester Mercury for a non-story and he came up with a housewife who, like tens of thousands of others, doesn’t like the McCanns. Unable to tell an internet troll from a hole in his arse, Brunt proceeded to handbag the poor cow on her doorstep on national TV.

Having been publically vilified for doing not a lot, she committed suicide the next day.

Well done, Sky News. Hope you’re feeling really proud of yourselves. It’s just a shame you don’t turn your efforts towards some real investigative reporting. Can I perhaps suggest the McCanns, their lucrative charity and what actually happened to their daughter?

Nominated by: Dioclese
A cunt who doesn’t want to end up dead in a hotel room tommorrow.

Kirsty Allsop

kirsty_allsop_fbbf_forum_0003

Kirsty Allsop! What a fat, horrible bastard she is.

I had the misfortune to be sat in front of the telly the other night while she patronised, rolled her eyes and generally spoke to the fucking idiots who can’t find their own new house like they were, well, fucking idiots. She strikes me as a right nasty, patronising cunt of a cunt.

I don’t know how that Phil resists from turning around and booting her straight in the gash.

Nominated by: Jimbob Cunt III

The Standing Ovation

despicablemee

I remember as a young lad hearing the old man come in pissed after a night out bleating on about how good the comedian was and that he received a standing ovation. A rare occurrence I was lead to believe. You had to have performed brilliantly, have the audience in the palm of your hand and be top of your game.

But now the standing ovation comes too easily. I’m sorry to say I sat through and suffered the Xfactor one night which deserves a cunting itself if it hasn’t already been cunted. I heard some of the so called talent on that show and to be honest in my opinion most of the cunts couldn’t shout coals up a back lane. But no – the audience think its fucking great. All a contestent has to do is wail like a gospel singer, throw a few dodgy trills in and they’re up on their fucking feet.

For fucks sake sit your arses back in your seats you easy pleased cunts.

Nominated by: Cuntface

My ol’ dad used to say “They’ll clap owt in London” but these days they’ll stand up and clap owt anywhere.

Especially at Party Conferences. and especially when told to do so by the cunt at the front, off camera.

Nominated by: Dioclese