Just Tattoo of Us

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I’d like to nominate a TV programme I never even knew existed for a cunting called “Just Tattoo of Us”.

The basic premise is that you get two friends or family members and have them pick a tattoo which best describes their friend/relative and have that daubed on them for eternity.

All in the quest for “light” entertainement.

Moreover they select the perfect chav hosts with some cunt from Geordie Shaw and some cunt from “Towie” (whatever the fuck that is).

I remember watching the 1986 classic RoboCop and seeing mock adverts for TV shows like “Climbing for Dollars”, etc., thinking: “Ha! The future what a cunt! It’ll never be like that!”

Alas the reality 30yrs later is far worse.

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

Sports Cunt of the Year

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Er… Who the fuck are these cunts?

Sports Personality of the Year – one of the most high-concentration gathering of cunts you’ll see ‘twixt this world and the next. I agree with many others who suggest the awards should be renamed – perhaps ‘De Facto Cunto’, ‘2017s Biggest Cunt who Runs on Grass’ or more simply ‘The Sporting Cunt’s Cunt’.

If you even care, the nominations for this year have been released (see how many you can identify in the above picture)

This is one of those seismic events where the cuntitude is exhibited on so many levels:

1. Hosted by the Al-BBC

2. A large hall packed with a vast array of overpaid, over-inflated egos

3. The title of the fucking award. The shortlist is always picked based upon achievement, so why the fuck argue semantics on it being the ‘sports personality’ award? What’s ‘personality’ got to do with big-mouthed virtue-signalling dour cunt Andy Mugray winning it three times? Alternatively, just make it genuinely about personality – nominate people like that snooker player who said all the Chinese are cheating cunts, or the pub-league darts player who can fire an arrow at the treble 20 directly from his arse.

4. Clare Balding wheeled out to bark her way through proceedings with all the finesse a Tourette’s sufferer on acid

5. Gary Lineker. A man whose cuntitude speaks more volumes than Franklin W. Dixon’s Hardy Boys entire back catalogue

6. The usual intersecting VTs foisted upon viewers affording coverage to the flids, the minorities, the wimminz and all the other sports which you either shake your head at in disbelief or laugh uncontrollably at the shiteness of

7. The annual mass-fellation of Usain Bolt

SPOTY is a an enormous festival of monumental cunt, by monumental cunts, for monumental cunts.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Middle aged ravers

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I’ve just recently had some new neighbours who have replaced a decent couple decided upon moving up the chain. Their arrival was announced when I was asked by an eager delivery cunt to take in a parcel which turned into half a housefull of furniture and boxes. I sat on them stacked out, awaiting collection from the newbs but nobody came.

The following morning I went up to introduce myself and tell them they had some stuff at my place, and was met with Sasha or John Digweed blaring out accompanied by a still “fucking ‘ell off ma tits” pregnant cunt. She was in no rush to get them though, no sirs, “I’ll send me fella down in a bit”. No thanks though.

Half nine in the evening captain pop eyes turns up wanting his shit. His introduction went as far as saying he plays bongos for some troupe that still accompanies Cream. I was most impressed, given he’s probably the same age as me, and I gave up the shitty club scene about 25 years ago. Leathery old looking couple with no decency or manners, and to this day still blaring out golden oldie tunes till the wee hours.

I had to be up for work at 5.am as usual the other day for a twelve hour shift. Removed my ear plugs and was ushered into a new day of shit with Voodoo Rey. Fucking cunts. And their dogs.

Nominated by Ernst Stavro Cuntfeld

Martin Lewis [2]

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I desperately want to nominate Martin Lewis, the so-called fucking “money expert” on that cunty paper The Express.

Every bastard morning when I read this paper this cunty face is ALWAYS bragging on how to save money on every cunt of a thing, like he’s the second coming of Jesus Cunty Christ.

I don’t need to be reminded every fucking day on how to save my money from my low paid shitty cunt of a job!

Nominated by Happy Cunt

Fabian Hamilton

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I’ve just seen that Labour gimp Fabian Hamilton on sly news and surprise, surprise, he thinks that we should tell the leader of the free world, most powerful man on the planet and president of one of our closest and most important allies to basically go fuck himself.

His job is: Shadow Foreign Minister.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Such is the intelligence and competence of comrade compo’s cabinet, that the man responsible for foreign affairs, relations with our allies and diplomacy in sensitive situations thinks that we shouldn’t invite the president of our most powerful ally to our country.

Sly news and Fabian cunt face decided to discuss the 1.8 million (Ha ha) twats that signed a fraudulent petition to say that he’s not welcome.
Firstly, it was more like 18,000 that signed it 100 times each.
Secondly, no one gives a fuck about lefty, virtue signalling cunts that quite happily support Islamic grooming gangs and Harvey wankstain (or at least until it became trendy to condemn him) and then go for trump because he shagged some groupies and grabbed some (willing) pussy.

To be fair to the old cunt he did eventually say that Trump is welcome after all as he isn’t a terrorist, although, as we all know, being a lefty he’s totally cool with terrorists.

He says that we shouldn’t give trump a state visit though.
So what are we to do with him?
A Travelodge perhaps?
A night in a b&b?
A cup of tea with the PM or the queen?

No. None of these things.
Fabian cunt face suggested that trump should come to comrade compo’s constituency and, yes you’ve guessed it, VISIT A CUNTING MOSQUE to get a real view of Britain.

When asked if it’s worth falling out with America he stated that falling out with Trump is not the same as falling out with America.
“There are many extremists but many have liberal values like ours.”
Like YOURS you mean.
“We’re not going to fall out with America, were going to fall out with those that don’t agree with our values.”
Agree with YOUR values, you mean.

In other words he will alienate and insult all those (extremists) that voted for trump and cause damage to a very important relationship just so that he can virtue signal and jump on the “I love killary Cunton” bandwagon.

Why can’t these leftist cunts just accept that he is the democratically elected leader of the good ol’ US of A, and whether you agree with him or not, he deserves the respect that his position is due.

No matter what you think of trump (and I’m not a huge fan) at least he’s not Clinton, who was a crook, a cunt, and got a child rapist set free by attacking the victim and manipulating the evidence, then laughed about it.
But he’s totally cool about that.

You don’t give the state visit to the man, you give it as a show of respect to the leader of a country and I think Trump should have all the respect that should be given to our strongest ally.

I don’t know if any of you distinguished cunters are planning to go, but I will definitely be on the welcome Trump march at the end of Feb to welcome the president and hopefully trigger some lefties in the process.
What better way to spend an afternoon than melting snowflakes, triggering phoney feminists and upsetting cunts like the ones that get cunted daily on this site?

One being that cunt Fabian Hamilton.

Nominated by Deploy the Sausage