I’m sure I’m not alone in this, I have ground my teeth down to fuckin stumps watching the endless procession of insulting PC adverts!! There are far too many to list so I will go on 3 that make me want to punch a hole thru my TV screen…….

1…. the Cadbury muzzie shop owner exchanging a bar of Britain’s favourite chocolate for some battered little girls toys!!, such is this Cunts generosity he even hands back her favourite one!! ??

2…. can’t think of the brand but the obviously Muslim family with their dog!! Seriously?? That’s utter bollocks ???

3….. the British army advert with the man taking off his helmet ( muzzie) and praying during manoeuvres!! ???

I’ve got an idea for these advertising Cunts , maybe they could do an advert for best of British pork, have a Muslim family all sitting around the dinner table troughing on pork whilst their dog sits licking his balls at the dinner table!!

Nominated by Quislings

Last week I organised a large beech tree dismantle and removal for a couple who have recently bought a house in the local area. It was a complicated job involving experienced climbers and a fair bit of machinery. It went well,as it should considering the price that the householders had agreed to pay.

Originally they had said that they wanted to keep the wood for firewood,but when they saw the sheer amount decided that they didn’t have room for it all and asked me if I could arrange for some of the larger bits of the stem to be led away. It was too gnarly for firewood so I rang a neighbour of mine and asked him if he would bring his Manitou loader and trailer down and take it back to my place where I was just going to dump in some quiet corner.

I told the householders that my neighbour wanted £150 to come down,load it and take it back to mine. They went fucking light accusing my neighbour of “trying to rip them off because they could afford to buy the house. Did all of us local-yokels think that they were made of money just because they’d moved from down south where he’d been a senior buyer for a large multi-national retailer?” etc.

I took great delight in explaining to them that my neighbour actually owns two farms and several cottages in the surrounding village and could undoubtedly buy and sell a “senior buyer for a large multi-national retailer” a dozen times over without bothering to go to the bank. That silenced them, I added the £150 to their bill and then told my neighbour not to bother going to remove the wood for a couple of months,that should get the Cunts frothing.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

I have recently been working from home so have inevitably been roped into the daily horror show shitfest of the school run. I have identified the prime vomit inducing cause of this evil phenomena and that is the School Run Mum.

To help you identify if you fall into this cuntish category answer these questions –

1. Do you drive a vehicle of such epic proportions that you find it impossible to perform simple manoeuvres? If yes then you are a cunt and possibly a School Run Mum.

2. If all that someone can see of you while you sit in your road going version of an M1A1 Abrams is a pair of eyes straining to see over the steering wheel and possibly a bobble hat thrown in for good measure? If yes then you are a cunt and possibly a School Run Mum.

3. Do you constantly talk drivel on the phone while you ferry your precious Darlings to the school gate? If yes then you are a cunt and possibly a School Run Mum.

4. Do you limit your focus to the two feet of road immediately in front of your car and frequently find yourself the cause of blocking the entire fucking road? If yes then you are a cunt and possibly a School Run Mum.

5. Are you a woman with school age kids? You are certainly a cunt and a school run mum.
If you have scored any more than 2 on this test then you are a monumental cunt, for the good of society as a whole, should prepare a bottle of whiskey and loaded revolver and do the right thing.

Nominated by Proper Cunt