A nomination for Mark Dolan. A supposed ‘comedian’ who frequently appears on the Sky newspaper review. A right on, sanctimonious male feminist type. He’s usually paired with Michelle Dewberry, who speaks sense. He just speaks total twattery.
Nominated by Mystic Maven
Congratulations to Prime Minister Sinister who has won the Dead Pool by picking the Lancashire wrestling star Tom Billington ‘The Dynamite Kid’ who has died on his 60 nbirthday fter battling health problems for many years. Nice shot PMS!
On to Deadpool 119
Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):
1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!
2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).
3. It actually has to be some newsworthy cunt that people have actually heard of!
Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.
David Miliband:
Following hot on the heels of the Princess Anthony, Banana Boy David Miliband, now a resident of the USA has popped up on The World At One (where else?) to give his little opinions on Brexit.
The Poundland Blair is nearly a big a cunt as his master, but why do the BBC insist n dragging every fucking has been out of their sewers?. Fuck the bastards.
Nominated by W. C. Boggs
Another day, another cunt. Ben Wallace, security cunt.
Wally today says ‘A no deal Brexit will cause a security risk to the UK’. How will it Ben? ‘Because we can’t cooperate with Europe’. Wait, what Ben? If we don’t have a ‘deal’ we can’t speak to Europe about criminals no more?
What the fuck……..do they……. I’m lost for words. He goes on to spew verbal diarrhoea about the necessity of cross border security, I say fuck what any other EU country does at their border, and concentrate on our own. Surely this could mean more border control and police officer jobs for British people? I don’t know if he realises through all his bullshit spreading, but what he’s actually saying is ‘we don’t spend enough money on security in this country’.
Wally you’ve quickly climbed the ladder of cunts for me. There’s going to be the secretary for every department on the cunt list soon though, prepare for education, transport etc. To have their own time in the cunt light, when they say no deal is bad for this or bad for that. I just hope those people who voted leave aren’t brainwashed by twats like Wally and Treason May, thinking all this is legit.
Nominated by elboobio
Powerpoint presentations and those who use them – fuck me, what a load of cunt.
Perhaps it’s just me, but every single meeting I’ve ever attended has involved some brainless gimp in a cheap ill fitting suit from ‘next’ reading out each slide to me.
This in itself is enough to cause my eyeballs to swell under the raised heart rate, but there’s a number of aspects to this bumfoolery that add to my frustration.
These events always begin with the illustrious host waiting silently and uncomfortably for everyone to arrive. No social pleasantries, they obviously don’t want to share air with everyone else. What a good start eh? Fuck you too. At this point, my brain begins to ache with the constant railroad chatter of the word “cunt” endlessly repeating along my tortured synapses.
Then, with the room filled to capacity, they break into smiles. The voice in my head is now shouting the word “CUNT” repeatedly.
Next is the attempt to disarm our defensive nature by pretenting they can’t login (single finger strokes of course) or can’t switch the projector on, or can’t find the presentation.
‘Ho ho what a wolly I am, what fun! ‘
Fuck off! Just fuck off! This is NOT breaking the ice or ‘touching base’ with us or me or whatever. You are just a shitting cunt.
Then the presentation itself.
Why are all the numbers meaningless?
Why are all the colours pastel? Is this an exercise in gayness?
Why are they reading this to me?
I’m not thinking of the rest of the room anymore. This is personal. A contrived attack. Succeeding, in fact, in raising my heart rate over 200bpm and causing me to dig my nails into my palms and drawing blood.
The irony is that I am being punished for being able to read. Just because I can read the whole page in the blink of an eye, they are slowly drawing it out.
Making fucking mistakes! How is this possible? The words are two inches high! Two bastard inches!
As the blood pressure succeeds in loosening my teeth, the over exertion begins to take it’s toll.
Any chance of me getting out of my chair and clubbing people with it is lost because this is a personal attack and these events have been foreseen.
This is why the heating is on, the windows are shut and the room filled to capacity to maximise the thermal effect. Combined with the fading adrenaline, I am strong-armed into an alpha brain state, struggling to stay awake, dimly aware of their judgement, desperately awaiting the hiss of releasing pressure that signals the door has been opened and we can now leave…..
Fucking cunts……