Did anyone see that crock of crap foisted on us by Al Bbceera the other night? The remake of Watership Down. FFS!!

Not only were the CGI graphics two dimensional and the backgrounds reminiscent of the sets from Crossroads, but I am forced to conclude that whoever drew the bunnies had never actually seen a rabbit.

The noses are too pointed, the ears too long and the back legs the wrong shape and size. In fact, they were clearly hares. Still, for 20 million quid of licence payers money, it was near enough…it’s only kiddie shit so the little darlings will never know the difference.

But hang on a mo! Parental warning! It’s much too violent for children to be allowed to watch. They’re not used to such scenes. It’s even worse than that Fortnite game they’re all playing. Especially after their parents were traumatised by the original!

What fucking planet are these cunts on? I watched the first ten minutes – which was a struggle in itself – and then switched off.

Watership Down? Watered Down Shit more like it…

Nominated by Dioclese

Shitney to Hobart yacht race.
Three weeks before boxing day the tediously repetitive media onslaught about this elitist wank has started.
Hearing these old money cunts and their trust fund rent boys bleat about their $100 million dollar tax write off yachts shits me unto tears. I most sincerely hope their fleet and numbers are thinned by any or all of the following;
A tsunami,
An asteroid,
An old Axis Japanese / Imperial German sea mine,
Off course Somali pirates or,
The KRAKEN!
Vainglorious Cunts one and all.

Nominated by Shackledragger Cunt

Xmas Lightshows

Xmas – advisedly. The notion that this time of year might be in any way associated with religion, morality or even good taste, has long been lost in favour of any excuse to buy as much Chinese electrical tat as your overdraft will stand. Christ – mass, it isn’t. Christ on a bike, it is.

Cunt opposite has festooned his bungalow, and next door’s (though maybe he bought that to provide a bigger support for his cuntribution to light pollution)) with fucking intertwined ropes of multicoloured light-emitting diodes, and added grim insult to foul injury by placing an illuminated plastic smileyface santa thing front and centre. This will be up for the next month, if last year’s only slightly less migraine inducing effort is any indication. The cunt will leave it up because it’s so nice – thousands of little points of semiconductor engineering being the pinnacle of nice. Said cunt doesn’t even have brats as an excuse.

I am aware that far worse examples of mindless seasonal despoilation of the nightscape exist, and here’s your opportunity to cunt them as they deserve. If the cunts want the Blackpool Illuminations they should fuck off to Blackpool. Cunts. May they entangle themselves in the wiring and fry.

Nominated by Komodo

Just for the sake of balance I would like to cunt complaining about Christmas. Yes, there are certainly things I don’t like about it – the commercialism, the fact it starts earlier every year, the fact it’s been infiltrated by the diversity fascists, and I understand that it’s a very difficult time of year for some people because of mental health problems or family circumstances or tragedy – those people are very much excluded from this cunting – but that stuff aside I enjoy the food and drink, spending time with my family (something I don’t get to do as much now with a demanding part time job and a degree to study for), the look on my brother’s face when the day comes around and he opens his presents (as I’ve mentioned before he’s severely autistic so still has the mental capacities of a toddler), the giving, and receiving gifts which I know my family have thought long and hard about and have got me because it’s something I’ve asked for, something I need, or something I haven’t considered which they know me well enough to know I’ll like. Yes the commercialism and all that is a ballache but it always has been there to an extent, it always will be and if you ignore that and do a DIY Christmas then it’s perfectly possible to enjoy this time of year. Quite frankly, I can’t help but think that shitting on Christmas has in of itself become a bit of a trend and that’s just as irritating as the tendency for some people to go overboard with their love of the season. So lighten up you miserable grinches and enjoy it for what it is. I don’t imagine this one will be popular but if I wanted to be popular I wouldn’t say 95% of the shit I say. ?

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt