The “Do As I Say”, Health Freak Cunts!

Pisses me off when you see so-called experts bang on about what you should and should not eat/drink. Don’t eat that because it’s bad for you, don’t drink this because you will die an early death; do more exercise, don’t sit on your arse and do fuck all because that is bad for you too!

Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit what these cunts say. Death comes to us all, and if I want to eat ten bags of chips and drink thirty pints of lager in one session then so be it!

I know plenty of health freak cunts who eat all the “right food”, go jogging and live the perfect lifestyles, and still face a good old heart attack at the ripe old age of 25. In the same breath, my grandparents lived well into their late 80s/early 90s while eating/drinking all the “bad stuff” for decades!

So to all those health-freak Nazis, kindly fuck off and die!!

Nominated by Technocunt

Fireworks….never liked ’em even when I was little.

Never gazed in awe at them. Thought they were a bit boring…more interested in the treacle toffee!

As an adult, I loathe the fucking things. Dogs are shit feared of them and it seems the retarded, antisocial and unemployed just cant get enough of them. Even grown men spunk money on something that’s basically pretty colours and noise!

I’m suspicious of adults who like them…something a bit gay and odd about them?!

The only thing that cheers me up about them is when reading where some twat’s lost his face fucking about with them. Should either ban them as a hate crime, or remove all safety regulations on them, so more idiots get a suntan and less fingers to count.

Nominated by Miserable northern cunt

John Bercow is a cunt!

This smug arrogant dwarf cunt struts around the House of Commons as though he owns the place. His bias towards Remainers and their policies is obvious and this pigshit thick twat is probably such a bullying little turd because his rancid Wife entertains herself by fucking anything in trousers (or tracksuit bottoms in the case of self proclaimed gypo king, Paddy Docherty..)
This obnoxious little bag of poncified, overprileged shite makes Jacob Rees-Mogg-Henley-Regatta-Russian-Trust-Fund seem grounded and likeable!

All in all, a cunt of the first order, order, order!

Nominated by Vernon Fox

The biggest cunt since Anthony Blair, the self-important shit-stain on the grubby underpants of the Conservative party has been colluding yet again with the President of the EU to prevent Brexit :-

https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1188524/brexit-news-john-bercow-EU-David-Sassoli-european-union

What can be said about this motherfucker that has not been said already? The cunt is due to retire on October 31st, but as he seems to make his own rules, who knows if we can believe the lying meddling stinking fucker.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Ryan-Mark Parsons – “Who the fuck is this?” you may ask.

He is one of the new intake on The King Of Wank Spanners – The Apprentice.

Please let me digress and tell you more about this Mark. Anyone with a double barrelled name is indeed a two Dad cunt. He explains more about himself as you can see below:

‘Two Dads’ describes himself as “a 60-year-old trapped in a teenager’s body”….

What the fuck?

A luxury Womenswear consultant from South East London, he has a passion for the finer things in life….

He said: “I like to think of myself like a handbag… this beautiful handbag embezzled in diamonds and the beautiful crocodile finish”…

If I see that bag, I will have a huge shite in it!

“But it’s actually concealing something inside – and that’s what I like to bring to the table”….

You are indeed a massive cunt.

“I’m concealing a fire and I’m not afraid to step on other people’s toes”….

Fucking Grenfell Tower survivors will have your card marked.

Another Apprentice Cunt.

Nominated by James McMahon

A nomination for the woke outrage over silly films.

The latest comic book film, ‘Joker’, has got the usual soy-licking culprits in a state because it sympathises with isolated, young, white men and romanticises their incel lifestyle and their rage at society.

One journalist from some clickwank site written for 12-year-olds says the film is ripe for the alt-right to turn into memes. Others say it is explicitly political, despite the director saying it’s not really. Who cares? It’s a silly comic book film, however well Joaquin Phoenix might play the role.

Why do these freaks only aim their sights at popular entertainment, especially these comic book films?

I suspect they lack the critical faculties and cultural knowledge to analyse the ‘problematic’ themes in great works of art, music or literature, because the learned will be on their case, laughing at their stupidity. Best stick to ‘Stranger Things’, eh?

We should pity these third rate sociology lecturers and their desire to write essay after essay on the male gaze in Adam Sandler movies, the misogyny of computer games, and their homoerotic ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’/’Doctor Who’/’Harry Potter’ fan fiction, or how Banksy is so subversive.

An industry of chimps, publishing claptrap for gibbons.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime