Psychology lecturer and psychotherapist, Dr Sonja Falck….

Just to underline how snowflakery-to-fuckery this country is heading for, some touchy-feely twat called Sonja Falck is making a big name for herself by claiming that the words “Nerd” and “Smarty Pants” are offensive, divisive and humiliating, and may cause life-long trauma!

It seems if you make any sort of derogatory remark about someone, it’s classed as a hate crime, because it is offensive and may cause distress, hurt, etc, etc.

Of course its okay to call Brexit/Tory supporters dumb, ignorant, stupid fuckwits, because they don’t count as “normal” people.

I bet Dr Falck would probably feel mortally offended if she was called ‘Ms’ or ‘Mrs’, rather than ‘Doctor’, Or better still, being called a useless, twattish, good-for-nothing cunt with nothing better to do!’

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/12/17/nerd-geek-insults-should-classed-hate-crimes-academic-claims/

Nominated by Technocunt

A top of the range, high-end cunting for “house names”.

I’m a locksmith, and obviously get called out to attend homes that need gaining entry to, or the door won’t lock etc. Usually, after being given the address (house number and street/road) I arrive at the address as promptly as I can. That is, until I receive a call from some cunt saying “ it’s Shangri-La” on London road. London road for example is probably numbered into high hundreds.

My response is, “what number are you? Or next to?”
Customer: “oh, I don’t know, it’s just Shangri-La”.
Me: “So you expect me to drive the entire length of your road, looking both left and right, until I find you?”
Customer: “Oh, it’s a blue door”.

What the fuck are these people thinking? Absolute cunts.

Nominated by Cuntington Smythe

I am very much a social drinker these days, quite happy drinking the odd pint of San Miguel down the local boozer, or if I’m being a tight-fisted old cunt, drinking from home.

However, Christmas is approaching, and am already ordering a shitload of groceries from Asda online, including their special offers of 3 x 10 cans of Stella for £21.

Compared to my irresponsible youth of some forty years ago, when I used to buy a 24-pack of Breaker, or Skol, or Colt 45, for £10 and end up getting pissed out of my face three hours later, I would like to think I am a more experienced, sober drinker these days, yet come Christmas and all that festive spirit bollocks, I cannot help myself but to crack open the cans and enjoy a good old fashioned piss up!

But the thing about beer is how it suddenly fucks up your sensibilities, and all of a sudden you think the likes of Jess Phillips and/or Jo Swinson are remotely sexy!

Moreover, the more you drink, the more bollocks comes out of your mouth to the point where you’re opening yourself up to all sorts of allegations, especially when you confess to sniffing the bicycle seat of your female French tutor during your days at comprehensive school!

Beer has a lot to answer for, especially with its ability of fucking up one’s mind and turning horrible bloaters into sex objects (although to be fair I still haven’t drunk enough to find Diane Abbott remotely fetching!)

You will no doubt be surprised to know I am writing this bollocks after consuming five pints of San Miguel (largely in celebration of winning a nice little contract supporting the local library with their IT kit!) Therefore, I will probably regret this nomination come the morning. I just hope I haven’t mentioned anything regarding sex sessions with a sweaty Diane Abbott in a g-string!

Cheers!

Nominated by Technocunt

Entitled Chavvy Cunts…..

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/damp-council-flat-south-shields-17281089

This particular Lovely has the lot, bar a special-needs baby (Give it time and a turkey-baster). Expects her arse to be decked with diamonds despite never contributing, and never will, a penny. Too fucking feckless to keep an appointment to let the Council fix the “problems” and certainly too fucking lazy to even wipe the mould off the walls herself. She has, of course, mental-issues, physical issues, lezzbianism and an unfortunate kitten (the RSPCA should remove it) so no doubt everyone’ll have to pander to the benefit-sponging Waster.

People like this seem to forget that someone else has to pay for every moment of their vacuous existence. They should show some self-reliance and gratitude instead of just wailing that everyone else should support them.

Fuck her.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler

Having perused the list of cunts, I’m staggered this cunt doesn’t appear.

He’s like that cunt “Chappers” – anywhere and everywhere, any two bob sport will do.

The main issues I have with him are, as follows:

1. He’s a cunt.
2. He comes from a kids TV background and suddenly gets thrust into some main sports presenting roles – on what basis? My dead cunt of a Grandma knows more about BDSM than Humphrey does about sport – and she wouldn’t even know what the fuck it fucking meant, other than being a good effort at Scrabble.
3. Your name’s Jacob mate, not Jake.
4. He pontificates on Twatter like he DOES know something about sport. Jacob, you cunt…you don’t.

Also…he just looks like a cunt, the classic face I want to cave in with a fuck-off snow shovel.

So, I present to you, Jake Humphrey – turbo cunt.

Nominated by GeneralZod