Rude Old People

Well, knocking on the door of “The Big 5-0” and being a cripple, I tend to look down on the young. I tend to think they have never had it so good. So today I had a little altercation with one of my elders over a parking space!

So, to cut to the short on this, said chap decided it was ok to park up in a disabled space (one out side my bunker at Beirut Terraces) and I challenged him on his lack of a blue badge (The space next to it was vacant).

He got a bit shitty with me and said his dad was disabled. I mentioned that Mrs B Mk III was and that he had lost his right to complain about people breaking the law when he does it himself.

Mind you if he lets his Dad rot here, he must be a massive cunt.

Nominated by lord benny

The NHS (5)

Yes, we know it needs more money to pay for more doctors, nurses and even more managers.

But throughout this election campaign they have been maligning the Tories. The latest being a kid on the floor at Leeds A&E. Apart from the fact that this was obviously staged for Boris’s visit, has it not occurred to these cunts that Magic Grandpa and his bullshit will inevitably lead to the collapse of all public services? Venezuela style.

And do doctors actually want to be taxed to fuck to make this happen?

The population of the UK has increased by 4.5 million since that cunt Blair opened the floodgates. We are living longer. The NHS should consider this before they aid and abet the destruction of the UK economy.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Scum Supermarket Shoppers

May I respectfully request an urgent cunting for the ignorant scum who choose to bury unwanted chilled or frozen food, previously selected, in with electrical goods, household detergents, jam rags or anywhere else other than where they picked it up from, so it can simply spoil or rot away. Another example of the “I don’t give a shit about anybody else”, amongst us.

Lazy, ignorant, cunts.

I once witnessed an obese, tattooed (big hearts and roses) slag who suddenly noticed that her snot-dripping sprog was carrying an item he’d nicked off a shelf, so she removed it from him and simply winged it through the air into the fruit and veg some 20 ft away.

Fucking slag.

Nominated by SpleenVenter

Metropolitan Police’s Christmas Gift List

We’re into what is known as ‘the festive season’, and as part of the celebrations, the Met has issued a list of the gifts that it would most like to receive this year:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/11/londons-wanted-criminals-time-christmas-11658723/

Yes, the nineteen beauties pictured comprise the list of those whose collars the scuffers would most like to feel before the end of 2019; they’re wanted for a range of offences from robbery, possession of weapons, kidnapping, drugs and GBH. Now fellow cunters are invited to peruse said mug shots carefully in an attempt to determine a common denominator. It’s not easy, so I’ll give you a clue in the form of a quote from our estimable capital’s Mayor, Sadiq Khunt; ‘Diversity is our strength’.

So citizens of Londonistabistan. Can you help by dobbing in any of these worthies to the Old Bill? I’d say that Londonistabistan politicians such as David Lammy and Dawn Butler, not to mention our illustrious Shadow Home Secretary Diane Flabbott, would regard this as nothing less than your civic duty. Keep your eyes peeled.

Evenin’ all.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Fairytale of New York

I would like to cunt that load of turd that is ‘Fairytale Of New York’…

Every fucking year this pile of shite plagues radio and TV stations. Not to mention shops, pubs and the rest of it. Two frankly awful voices in Kirsty MacColl and that toothless, spud-fucking pisspot, Shane MacGowan, whining their heads off to stereotypically bad ‘Diddly Diddly’ music.

Of course, the thick, chav masses love it. The same fuckers that love Ed Sheercunt’s crap and think that Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ is a hymn, or a Christmas record. Of course, anyone with a bit of savvy does not want to hear a song about bog-trotting smackheads celebrating Christmas in the Plastic Paddy capital that is ‘Noo Yoik’.

“But..But, it’s a Christmas classic!”…..

Fuck off!

Nominated by Norman

And anyway, Dio and Chas’ version was much better!