Meghan Markle (6)

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I’m a famous actress you know


A Jumping On The Bandwagon cunting for the lovely, virtue-signalling Meghan, Scourge of Sussex, who has selflessly stepped back from obscurity to inform the world of her support for BLM and Choking George. It’s been ‘devastating’ for her apparently and she remembers the LA riots as a child, something of which I have no doubt, because she ain’t exactly royal stock – a classic biatch from South Central if ever I saw one. The sooner Phil The Greek hires her a driver, the better.

Nominated by The Stained Gusset

BBC Newsnight and Emily Maitlis (yes, yet again)

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Ok, one more, because the motherfuckers have asked for it, by not learning a fucking thing from the furore over Maitlis and her bullshit monologue.

Newsnight, once again, deserves a nomination. Aaand Maitlis is back on the show, coming out with fake statistics that purportedly show that the UK has suffered more deaths than the entire EU. Just one problem, the figures are complete and utter bollocks. The FT has already exposed the fact that reporting in EU countries, is flawed. In fact some of the data in foreign countries is so unreliable that, according to the FT’s data guy John Burn-Murdoch, if England had adopted Spain’s new ‘method’, it would have reported just 20 new deaths yesterday (3rd May).

Newsnight is supposed to provide in depth analysis of the headlines, but apparently, nobody on that poxy show considered the numbers to be in any way suspect. Apparently, Newshite got these figures from a site known as “Worldometer”, a site that even Wikipedia thinks is bollocks. The data manager for independent statistics website Our World In Data told CNN that “We think people should be wary, especially media, policy-makers and decision-makers. This data is not as accurate as they think it is.” There you have it, and expert speaks. So why the fuck has Newshite decided to ignore the scandal they found themselves in last week, and jump straight into another? Surely, nobody is that much of a cunt. Oh, wait. This is the BBC. Of course they are.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Chinky flu haircuts

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Corona cuts
The media seems to be alive with reports of “guerrilla hairdressers”. They come under cover darkness by appointment, do your hair and sneak out under the cover of darkness.
Living next to a nature reserve I get to see a lot of illicit meetings, the druggies going over to score or use, the alkies going for a quick drink and young girls going to meet men friends.
Obviously this drew my attention ( as a concerned citizen). I noticed that they travel in twos and do each others hair, sometimes with interesting results.
Today I was subjected to my first corona cut, how long has it been 3 months?
Well I have a beard trimmer, don’t use it much and somehow in the last move it became separated from its charging cable, at this point I imagine that you are rightly thinking “Cunt you brought it on yourself” but no I bought a new one from Amazon, so charging it up over night I let Mrs B loose.
Fucking big mistake I will tell you, I am not sure what happened but she is not very hands on; more “Tony and guy” with the clippers and they fucking ran out of charge! leaving me looking like an extra from “Braveheart” I was not impressed, not only did I have half a hair cut but after 3 months of lock down I had an appointment at the vets to have the dog’s anal glands squeezed (my life is great isn’t it)
So I had half a hair cut and had to go out!
Was not a happy bunny, The Amazon charger did not work and I ended up taking the house apart trying to find the original charger, which eventually I did in a box of defunct phones and phone chargers.
I have had a truly cunty day, and I had to open the door to a delivery man who kept a straight face.

Nominated by lord benny

Gordon Ramsey (2)

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Surely this weapons grade treble cunt must have been on here before? Anyway, if it is even possible the gobshite fuckmonkey is even more of a cunt than I thought he was, after pissing off all the slack jawed yokels in Cornwall, this cockwomble is back and is now using the government Covid scheme loopholes to lay off 500 staff so they can then reapply for their jobs on a lower wage. What a piece of dog shit this cunt really is. I dont know why this surprises. I suppose I didn’t think he could get any lower than whale shit but this stroppy cunt has managed it and deserves to have his nuts flambayed by his ex staff as if they haven’t endured enough of this cunt’s bullshit…..Ramsey you are a cunt…

Nominated by Fuglyucker

Woke channel 4 adverts.

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Well fuck me with a slowly rotating pineapple, i have just picked up my tablet to cunt channel 4,s latest fucking add, so picture the scene we have a motley crew of ethnic flavours riding on what looks like a raft landing on the beach at Dover, until it starts to walk out of the sea and its the giant channel four logo complete with a new batch of benefit, housing, healthcare claiming free loaders getting ready to jump off as soon as they touch dry land and scatter like fucking cockroaches to the nearest immigration solicitors office to claim their new life at our expense all fucking sponsored by channel four.
What a bunch of cunts channel 4 are, they are glorifying illegal immigration, that’s just fucking great, thank you channel four well done you cunts….

Nominated by Fuglyucker

Well fuck me sideways, so it does, maybe they are competing for the BBC audience?