Banksy (4)

A quick painting by numbers cunting for Banksy – there’s only one colour to fill in and the colour is cunt.

Much like a children’s painting by numbers picture book, Banksy’s spraypaint by stencil ‘artwork’ is the most overrated political artwork in modern times. Consistently wanked over by media hacks and edgy teenage anti-authority minded cunts alike, it offers the viewer nothing significant and majestic. Not like say the surrealism masterpieces of Salvador Dali, actual fucking paintings, not this two-bit attempt at art by some super mysterious cunt who refuses to show himself.. how edgy.

His latest creation comes off the back of the George Floyd murder and protests. On his instashite page he stated, “People of colour are being failed by the system. The white system. Like a broken pipe flooding the apartment of the people living downstairs. The faulty system is making their life a misery, but it’s not their job to fix it. They can’t, no one will let them in the apartment upstairs. This is a white problem. And if white people don’t fix it, someone will have to come upstairs and kick the door in.”

This little wankstain, like other celebrities and bandwagon pushers, is happy to fan the flames from the security of their gated homes or in his case from the anonymity of not being known. People of all colours get shafted by the system, and the system is not ‘white’ either. It’s called the natural evolution of society towards civilization, which is messy and barbaric, and favours no one in particular except the cunt at the top of the pile. His skin colour is irrelevant, as is the colour of those under the cunt.

When his bell end is known I suggest someone spray paints a giant cunt on his front door, so everyone knows where to go, and kicks it in.

Nominated by: The Big Chunky Cunty

Dead Pool [164]

Congratulations to ChasCmusic who correctly predicted the passing of Ricky Valance.

Ricky was a Welsh pop singer best known for his UK No. 1 single, “Tell Laura I Love Her”. It sold over a million copies in 1960. A time when you actually had to sell a truck load of copies to have a hit. And have talent.

On to Deadpool 164:

The rules :

1) Pick 5 famous cunts who you think will be next to snuff it.It is first come first served. You can always be a cunt and steal other people’s nominations (Like Black and White cunt frequently does).

2) Anyone who nominates the world’s oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored.

3) It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

Prayer

Praying is a cunt, isn’t it.

If a family rocks up to the hospital to see Grandad and tells the nurse that they’ve all been praying for him, does that mean the nurse can give the ventilator to somebody else? He won’t need it, will he. Somebody without divine help could benefit from it.

Praying is a thought placebo performed by empty-eyed gullibles. Talking to yourself is acceptable, just don’t assume anybody is listening.

The only way putting your hands together during the Chinky Virus has helped, is if you use some soap and water.

Prayer: The Best Way To Achieve Absolutely Fuck All.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Justin Welby (10)

Just to prove I’m an equal opportunities cunter, let’s do a cunting for mine and your favourite bloke in a frock. Raise your glasses and give a big hand for Little Justin Welby aka the Archbishop of Canterbury.

It appears that Justine has taken time out from counting the money generated by his church’s vast estates to slag off all us white supremacists.

I can only apologise for being white.

Is your heart going to weep for the Christians currently being persecuted in countries where they are in the minority? I’m not going to hold my breath on that one.

I have recently come into contact with 2 of your vicars and they are top notch blokes and I think you are destroying all the good work they are doing.

And here endeth the lesson.

Nominated by SimmyJavill

Amen.

Fawlty Thinking

I want to nominate ‘Fawlty thinking’
Don’t mention the war. The race war that is. You know, the one they don’t want you to think is actually happening…

It’s bad enough that statues are being pulled down and vandalised all over the country, but now we can’t even have a laugh. No more watching that the stupid, bigotted Alf Garnett being ripped to pieces for his ludicrous outbursts. No more Sambo putting down the idiotic Jack Smethurst in Love Thy Neighbour. No more watching any of this ‘racist’ stuff that is actually anti-racist because of the sensibilities of the 21st century. Christ help us! Am I even allowed to say that in case it offends non-Christians?

And today the news that an episode of Fawlty Towers has been banned because it’s racist. Well, I understand the English language. It’s not racist. Arguably it might be seen as xenophobic, but as the Germans are white caucasians the same as us, racist it certainly isn’t.

Than there’s this thing about statues. Baden Powell’s statue threatened because he was racist, homophobic and had sympathetic leanings towards Adolf Hitler. What a load of old cobblers! Nelson’s statue to be taken off the top of his column because he was homophobic. Cecil Rhodes statue to be taken down because he was an imperialist. Fuck it – why not just burn all the history books as well and pretend it never happened.

And the piece de resistance (am I allowed to say that? It’s French) was the tearing down of Jefferson Davis’ statue in the USA because he was the president of the nasty southern states that owned loads of black slaves, followed by the removal of a statue of Christopher Columbus because he was a colonialist.

This is all absolute nonsense. The United States would not even exist if it wasn’t for colonialism. It was a British colony ffs! And as for Davis, I assume that we will be removing George Washington’s face from Mount Rushmore and renaming the capital? Why? Well, I’ve been to Washington’s home at Mount Vernon. Washington’s fortune and his estate were all based on the fact that he owned slaves. Lots of them.

All of these facts are, naturally enough, ignored by the fermenters of the current unrest. They have their own political agendae for wanting to see law and order overthrown. And it’s nothing to do with racism.

So let me leave you with a story about statues…..

A black man came into a lot of money and wanted a big house, so he commissioned an architect to build it. Asked what he wanted in his new palace, the black man replied “I want a statue in every room”. Several months later when the house was built, the architect was showing the proud owner around and there was indeed a statue in every room.

The black man was appalled. “What de fuck is all dis shit?” he demanded. The architect replied “But you said you wanted a statue in every room!” “No man” says he “one of dem t’ings where you dial someone up and say ‘Hi man. Is me, ‘s that you?”

I’ll get my coat….

Nominated by: Dioclese