I’ve been using this site for a while now, but this is my first post, so please be nice. Basically, I want to nominate cliquey sports clubs. I’ve been a member of a few of these institutions over the years and have found that on the whole they comprise cliques of people who won’t give you the time of day. You’re new, you try to make the effort to get to know people, but always remain on the periphery of their little groups.

Tennis clubs are generally the worst for this and I’ve heard similar stories from other people in the same position. The last club I joined was a nightmare. There were even people who went along just to be seen and I don’t think I ever saw them pick up a racket. I lasted about 6 months before an incident saw me ejected. One night, this pair who always played doubles together (part of the main clique) were asked to split to mix everyone up, which sounds fair enough to me. One of them was asked to play with me and wasn’t happy about it from the off. Anyway, I was playing like a bastard and we were losing as a result and this prick starts berating me. It’s an unwritten rule that you can get annoyed with yourself (which I frequently do), but never your doubles partner even if they’re fucking shit which I was. As the set progressed, he was getting more and more pissed off to the point where he said “I didn’t ask to be partnered with you”. So, I proceeded to over to where he was standing and told him I’d wrap my racket around his head if he didn’t shut the fuck up. Needless to say; he told the committee and I was asked not to come back. I virtually had to threaten to burn the clubhouse down to get the rest of my membership fee returned.

Another club I tried was archery. I did this as a kid and was quite good at it. The club I belonged to back then was great so I thought why not get back into it? I perused the internet and found a local outfit who billed themselves as “a friendly club”, so I made some inquiries and got myself along. It wasn’t fucking friendly though was it?

The people there turned out to be a bunch of socially-inept fuckwits who I’d normally cross the street to avoid. Anyway, I persevered a for a few weeks until one fateful night. The field we used on a school campus had on this one occasion been double booked and we were relegated to a small corner behind the bike sheds. T

he person who made the error to their credit came over to apologise to us and the club’s treasurer thought he’d have a pop and sent this poor sod away with a flee in their ear. I was really embarrassed by this and followed this person to apologise and state that I appreciated their efforts to make things right and that this committee member had not spoken for all of us. When I got back, they asked me what I had said to this person and I explained that I had to apologise for that awful spectacle.

When challenged, I proceeded to explain to this committee member in front of his shit-caked friends that I deal with some awkward cunts at work most days, but am paid well for it and I don’t want to be doing this in my free time for no money. Needless to say, I wasn’t invited back.

From what I’ve seen and apologies if I’m generalising here; most people who become committee members in these clubs are those who’ve failed in their careers and either want a bit of power or the feeling that they’re contributing something. I manage both a team and projects at work and I’ll be fucked if I’m going to be spending my free time doing it!

Nominated by: Piss Chisel

Another sob story from the BBC today.

These 24 year old twins are being threatened with deportation to the West Indian islands of their parents. In care from the age of 13 when mother died and dad went back to Dominica, the twins have never applied for U.K. citizenship nor did the parents. The threat of deportation has arisen following convictions for GBH. One of them got 6 years at the age of 17 so it would suggest that the H was pretty serious.

The sister of these two jailbirds is ‘disgusted’ that they may be sent to islands of mum or dad. Their solicitor claims that they are British which I find surprising as he has no documentation to support this assertion.

Meanwhile,sister says that if this deportation goes ahead then any of the other 9 siblings could also be deported. Spend a year in jail and that is the option the Home Office has.

The U.K. national debt is over 100% of GDP, the citizens of the U.K. deserve to be protected. This pair have had 11 years of taxpayers’ money spent on them. What have they done to contribute to this country?

I hope that they are able to settle down in whichever island paradise they find themselves and find it in their hearts not to judge us too harshly.

Nominated by: Guzziguy 

Mohiussunnath Chowdhury is a cunt, isn’t he.

A jihadi who has been jailed for planning terror attacks wrote down plans for when he arrived in heaven as a martyr – including meeting wives and decorating his “main palace.”

Chowdhury pinned to-do lists for the afterlife to his bedroom door while plotting an attack on potential targets including a gay pride parade and Madame Tussauds. The 29-year-old chicken shop worker who slashed police officers with a sword outside Buckingham Palace in August 2017, but was acquitted of a terror offence at a retrial after claiming he was depressed and wanted to be shot dead.

After his release from prison he mounted new plots, and revealed his plans to undercover officers who posed as fellow jihadis in Luton.

On Thursday, he was jailed for life with a minimum prison term of 25 years for preparing acts of terrorism.

This prompts a few questions:-

I know Madame Tussards isn’t everybody’s cup of tea but does it really warrant this level of violence? Furthermore, had he already chosen the colours for his palace up in Paradise? Also, had he selected the names for his two favourite wives? Finally, he seems to have left meeting Allåh quite low down the list? Surely the creator of the Universe and all that is wondrous, peace be upon him, is slightly more important than a new coat of paint?

Psh.

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

No, I hadn’t heard of this creature until I read ,with ever increasing incredulity, about her most recent actions. A letter criticising intolerance amongst wokes has been signed by 150 ‘slebs’ and published in Harper’s Weekly. One of the signatories is J K Rowling until recently a darling of the libtards. Sadly, J K has blotted her copybook somewhat by pointing out the truth regarding the number of sexes.

Emily VD is up in arms about her boss , the co founder of some lefty website also signing the letter. Dear Ol’ VD now ‘feels less safe at work’ . VD in a gesture of goodwill (?) said that she did not want her boss sacked (sacking the co founder won’t be easy) as VD says that sacking would make him feel like a martyr.

Note to Admin- please wear a welders mask if you wish to find a picture of VD . I have refrained from referring to VD as he or she as I am clueless about that facet of the creature

Noted – admin.

Nominated by: Guzziguy

And added to with this:

I know there’s already a nomination for this, but I just have to add to it. The academics and writers such as J K Rowling, Margaret Attwood, Salman Rushdie and about 150 others who put their names to an open letter calling for an end to cancel culture. I mean, the sheer hypocrisy of these fuckers is staggering. Rowling in particular in one of the most far left assholes on the face of the Earth. In fact, she leans so far to the left that I’m amazed she can even stand upright.

And let’s not mince words here, she, like so many of her peers named on this letter, are only calling for cancel culture to be cancelled because they have been victims of it themselves. Where were these twats when Count Dankula, Stephan Molyneux and other so called far right commentators were cancelled from various social media platforms? Where were the calls for freedom of speech to be respected when Sargon of Akkad had his YouTube channel demonetized? Not one of them said a word about it. Some of them even celebrated. But now that THEY’RE on the receiving end of the anger of their demented fellow members of the Leftwaffe, they’re suddenly all in favour of free speech.

Well you know what? They can all go and fuck themselves with a lit stick of dynamite. I have NO sympathy for them. They helped create cancel culture, they can fucking have it. And I certainly have no sympathy for Rushdie, that whingeing cunt who cost the British taxpayer tens of millions of pounds over a number of years for round the clock armed police protection. And all because HE wrote a book that upset Muslims. Then he had the nerve to fuck off to the U.S. where he criticised the UK for not doing enough to protect him. What else did want? A fucking tank on his lawn? Cunts.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

“Clap for Nicola”
As The Iron Lady once said, “rejoice! rejoice!”, for July 19th will be a landmark in the history of our proud island. Yes, on that blesséd day, Nicola Sturgeon, SNP leader, First Minister of Scotland and Mother of the Nation, will reach her 50th birthday. Rejoice indeed!
In honour of this momentous occasion, one Siobhan McCann, presumably one of the Beloved Leader’s ardent devotees, has launched a “clap for Nicola” campaign. Yes, at 8pm on the 19th, Ms McCann expects a show of appreciation for Wee Jimmy, which she no doubt believes is owed by all True and Proper Scots. McCann gushes like a true sychophant “our First Minister has done an exceptional job throughout what’s been a strange year so far, to say the least. Let’s have ‘the full regalia’ on Sunday… Get the pipes and pots out for Oor Nicola, and make sure that Westminster hears!”.
Now I think that anyone with half a brain cell can see what’s actually going on here; the twee reference to “Oor Nicola” and the clunky “make sure that Westminster hears” reveal this to be just another cheapo attempt by the SNP to score a political point against the UK government.
Having said that, I’d add that there is something deeply cringeworthy, not to say a bit sinister, a bit North Korean, about the SNP cult of The Leader that’s developing around Wee Jimmy across the border. Did I say “cult”? Actually you could replace the letter “l” with an “n” and it would be equally appropriate.

Nominated by Ron Knee