Life on the (Gareth) Wild Side.

Is there anything more boring or pointless than this cunt’s “achievement”?

He has taken 6 years to park in every space of his local supermarket car park. Over 200. In his Skoda. Now 20 years ago the fact that he drove this make of car would have been enough to condemn him as a cunt. (Admission: I once owned a Red Rapid Coupe which was a stylish little car. A poor man’s Porsche. Or Porch to quote one of the old Skoda jokes. The cabriolet version being a skip)

I mean honestly. He could have done it on a quiet afternoon but no he took 6 years. What sort of lack of imagination do you need to perform such a task and think it in any way interesting?

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/sainsbury-twitter-london-bromley-lidl-b932218.html

He must be a libdem voter. Goes to Margate every year for his holidays. Watches every episode of Emmerdale. Wears marigold gloves to do the washing up. Washes his wheely bin every week. Listens to Radio 2. Thinks Graham Norton and Rylan Clark are terribly amusing.

Fuckwit.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

(Scheduling of this nom is intentional as Man City could well be the Premier League Champions again in the next couple of hours – DA)

The fact that they are now acting like the Super League backstabbing never happened is diabolical. There has been no protest by their fans to remove their owners, and that utter cunt Pep Fraudiola saying the towelhead cunts have no need to apologise for anything. These cunts have no integrity and these blue bastards would arselick and welcome Hitler if he continued to buy them trophies and hired mercenaries like Sterling.

As for their fans? Well, apart from cunts like Liam Gallagher, how they think air crashes are funny, doing that stupid fucking Poznan shite and those stupid shark hats, this picture sums them up. Utter fucking cunts.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EzZzrc8XoAEXbDG?format=jpg&name=small

Nominated by: Norman

Youtube gangsters and self proclaimed “hardest bare knucle boxer,ex prisoner,doorman,library monitor,prefect” who get butthurt over TROLLS to the point they call the police lol.?
Search any of these planks.
Steve Wraith
Darren Gee
Sam Walker
Cody Lachey
Brian Hurle
Shaun Attwood
James English
Marvin Herbert
Decca Heggie

All self proclaimed hardmen, ex gangsters ,ex drug kingpins etc.
Yet their biggest upset comes from “trolls in the comments innit blud!”

Fuck me! What a bunch of clowns. Boasting about how hard they were in prison or standing on some nightclub door pretending they are Ronnie Kray and then when it comes to their Youtube videos they all make vids saying how they have “reported the trolls”
Lol ha ha ha fuck you all . Trolling is fuckin awesome!
And trolling gangsters is even more amusing than spiting on the food while working in a fast food kitchen.

Nominated by: Piccassio (King of Internet)

Shall I compare him to a massive cunt?
Yes I will.

I know that entertainment was a bit thin on the ground in the late 1500’s, but the fucking rubbish that this slap head used to churn out was awful. It seems like then, just like now, people would turn up to watch any old shit packaged as entertainment.

I remember having to read Macbeth in school.There was a few paragraphs of the actual play followed by half a page of explanation of what those few paragraphs meant. And then it was up to us, the students to try and decipher the nonsense for our O level.

It was the equivalent of watching an episode of 3 – 2 – 1 with Dusty Bin.

Nobody had a fucking clue what was going on.

William Shakespeare…. Bard (stard).

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

It now seems the norm for TV stations to show a warning before anything made before the year 2000 (sometimes later than this).

You see, we’ve got ‘outdated attitudes’. We’re the ones with the problem, not the fucking snowflakes under 30.

Listen you fucking soft cunts who agree with the warnings. There is nothing wrong with us. It’s you you fucking soft cunts. You’ve got ‘Soft as shit attitudes’. If Aladdin makes you want to protest against wayciiism or maybe hide under your bed and cry in shame, then guess what?

It’s you who has the snowflake attitude. Nothing wrong with my attitude, you cunts.

So well done. Now, it means the likes of Steptoe and Son, Alf Garnett and many other classic shows can never be shown (and seen) by our younger generations on terrestrial television.

Instead, enjoy every show featuring safe ‘jokes’ and a plethora of dark keys and gays. You may get the odd straight white honky. But he’ll be the bad guy. He’s usually the murderer on a modern ‘whodunnit’. Which means all shows like that are now ruined. I stopped watching ‘Line of Duty’ ages ago (overrated) and it seems everyone is hyped about who the bad guy is or something. Without watching it, I can tell you it will be the straight white male, probably middle aged with sexist and/or slightly racist attitudes as deemed by pussies. And there are probably very few of these straight white honky men in the show, so it should make it easy for you.

These warnings are for fucking snowflakes and they should only watch episodes of Playschool from now onwards, the fucking soft twats.

Well done on ruining telly you wimps. I’m off to watch my episodes of ‘Love thy Neighbour’.

Fuck off.

https://www.independent.co.uk/independentpremium/long-reads/sky-now-tv-streaming-political-correctness-racism-breakfast-tiffanys-b1225137.html

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks