The younger cunters on these hallowed pages might not know what im on about, but a “Ratner” is a colloquial term for making an error of judgment named after Gerald Ratner, a low grade jeweller who made a joke that pretty much said he only sold cheap cràp,

My Ratner moment came 18 years ago at a family wedding here in Blighty where I asked my cousin who the “blik” gentlemen was, and was he doing Zulu dances for the entertainment,

She said no that’s my son in law, married to my other daughter,

Lady Quimson scuttled off for a fäg and left me high and fucking dry to get nasty looks and comments from some of the other guests,

I have yet to be invited to any other family weddings, but I hate that branch of the family so ain’t missing much,

Have any of my fellow cunters had a “Ratner” at any time, it would certainly make me feel less of a stupid cunt!

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

Ratner Gaffe Lives On

The Smiths.
No, not the seminal 80s Manchester indie band,
Them I like!
No, big eared actor Will Smith, his daft missus Jada pinky and their puddled kids Willow and Jaden.
The Smiths are black royalty in the states, and beyond wealthy.
But you cant buy good mental health!
The kids are spoilt and puddled,
The missus is full crackers!
Shes just shaved her nut and making a big deal about it,
(Yawn)
The public image is crumbling and something bads going to happen,
Can see it coming.
Too much money, detached from reality, these people turn my tripe.

Jada Pinkett Smith reveals she shaved her head before her 50th birthday..

Nominated by: Miserable Northern cunt

Fuckmonkey slappers and the legal system and bad driving people are cunts, this cunting is a three for one special and cunts that have forgotten the rules of the road

First this drug fuelled ,snap chat slapper has been banned from driving before for drug driving, she has caused near death and carnage on the roads and survived mores the pity, this shit stain would have been a great target for natural selection to sort out, shame she,s still around to torture snapchat users with her worthless life experiences.

Secondly the legal system, how the fuck did the aforementioned slapper not get sent to jail, see the link, what the fuck do you have to do these days to get sent down, maybe she,s going to suck the judges cock until his head caves in or something, i dont get it.

Thirdly i am noticing this more and more all the time, cunts who jump red lights , i don’t mean on the change i mean fucking red, then cunts that speed up to junctions not intending to stop or even slow down and when there is something coming they have to slam on the brakes fucking hard and then you have cunts who cant seem to stay in a fucking lanes, especially around roundabouts, even when lines are painted on these cockwombles cant manage it, all cunts….

Snapchat mum filmed herself before crashing car

Nominated by: Fuglyucker 

Emergency cunting for HMG. Not so much a reverse ferret as a reverse skunk or wolverine this time.

In order to be eligible for EU aid (WTF? Thought we were going to stand on our own two feet) directed at prettifying retail areas to get the moron public back into spending mode, our principled and consistent leaders are insisting that councils wanting some of the lolly to fly EU flags from every mast, pinnacle and councillor’s arse.

It’s not a hoax, cunters. It’s the final rollover-and-beg admission that we are no longer a nation.

What colossal cunts we are.

Fly the EU Flag or get no government money

Nominated by: Komodo

Fuck the Olympics and fuck the names of these kids? Sky and Bombette? Surely the parents were pissed when choosing these names. Why do sports events take priority over COVID? It’s a piss take.

Does anybody really give a fuck about the Olympics and why is Sky news hammering this story? Is it because one of the kids is called Sky? The majority of people could not give a flying monkey about the Olympics. The games should have been cancelled months ago.

Fuck off.

13 year old skateboarder set to make history

Nominated by: Cock Blanket

Seconded of a sort by – Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

Has anyone seen the trailer for The Raspberry Games on Channel 4 ?….like a 3 minute promo for “The Abominable Dr Phibes’ Carnival Tent of Terrors”…all that seems to be missing is a bearded lady…he’s probably too busy strapping his cock and balls to his thigh before competing in the women’s weightlifting event..although,tbf. if mental illness can be considered a disability perhaps The Special Olympics is just the place for The Tranny Brigade…at least they’re genuine Nutters and not just some Cunt with a bong-eye or Jeremy Beadle-style withered hand.

” To be a Paralympian you have to have something wrong with you” indeed

“Tokyo Olympics: Team GB women’s football take the knee”….and so it starts..a bunch of Cunts managing to combine virtue-signalling with a standard of football that would shame the Byker Grove Special-Needs second Eleven to produce a truly unwatchable pile of utter shite.

I hope their dildos wilt.