Hammond and his Treasury cronies are platinum, executive class, global ™ cunts.

Our strong and stable government has just sold 7.7% of its shares in RBS, at a loss to the taxpayer of £2 Billion. In April, RBS reported a profit for the first quarter of £792 Million. The mismatch between these figures is obvious. RBS, after all the problems arising from the fraudulent sale of worthless instruments leading to its financial collapse and its rescue by you and me, is now in profit. If the government retained its shares in RBS and collected the dividends on these, it could repay the loss to the taxpayer incurred in buying the shares in the first place, and maybe a little something extra to pay for the Forces, or infrastructure, or the NHS…and then if it liked, sell the shares at a price related to RBS’s recovery. But no. The government, incompetent in every department, has opted to return RBS to the private sector for what it can get, because private is good and public is bad. And it’s run out of money, again/still/for ever. And because the CEO is no longer content with being paid mere telephone numbers but wants a bigger slice.

Hey, cunts, RBS was completely restructured under public control, downsized drastically, and forced to pay gigantic sums of money to the US authorities (who are a lot harder on corporate fraud and malfeasance than our fluffy-gloved unregulators). But it worked! Now it’s back to business as usual, in profit, and likely to remain so.. And that without the government’s even bothering to get voting rights on the original share purchase! Pretty damn good for public.

So…It ain’t broken,we’re still out of pocket, let’s not wait to get paid back, but instead pay Morgan Stanley, Citigroup, Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan -all of them – an undisclosed wedge to lose this embarrassing success at a loss. (Not for the first time, either. The previous sale of shares in 2015 lost us another £2Bn)

If the global entrepreneurial types responsible for this crock of shit had appeared on Dragon’s Den, Shifty Sugar, the dodgy stereo king, would have told them to fuck off in short order. Your business plan is a load of old tut, and you are irredeemable, unqualified cunts.

Nominated by Komodo