Friends, Romans & Cuntrymen (and women), I beg your indulgence to launch yet another frivolous nomination – and indeed, competition.
(I note that the ADMIN(s) have not [yet] engaged in the awarding of some sort of `prize` for the best response for such light-hearted cajolery?)
(A plastic trophy of Diane Abbott’s used under-crackers awaits – Day Admin)
Anyway, back to song lyrics.
The other day I heard a tune on the radio called Africa by Toto
This is verse 2, with the most ridiculous lyric ever to appear in a song (fucking ever) italicized
“The wild dogs cry out in the night *
As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what’s right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I seek to cure what’s deep inside
Frightened of this thing that I’ve become”
Jon Anderson (him from that `Yes` progressive band) couldn`t have come close (To the edge – sorry) to `writing` even crapper prose.
Perhaps YOU can think of another ?
But I doubt it.
* My humble re-write, after this, would be …
As they grow restless thinking about bones
OK, maybe a bowl of Winalot®
And, as sure as shit, they`ll be howling for `doggy bix` later on, the greedy shitters.
Etc.
But then, I`ve actually thought about the words.
Unlike Toto
Nominated by: Sam Beau
I’ve been thinking about some lyrics that aren’t just crap, they seem rather dubious too. I’m referring to the Beatles song ‘I Saw Her Standing There’. It starts off
‘Well she was just seventeen
You know what I mean’.
Well yes, I know what seventeen means, it means older than sixteen and younger than eighteen. So why say ‘You know what I mean’? Unless what it’s trying to say is ‘You know what I mean, nudge wink’. We’re all aware of how bands in the sixties fraternized with under-age girls, and the writers knew that thirteen, fourteen and fifteen didn’t fit, they needed a word with three syllables.
Lennon / McCartney songs were written by one or the other and as one of them’s dead, I think it might be an idea if the other were to be investigated for possible historical sexual offences.
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`Twelve` wouldn`t rhyme.
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I don`t think there’s any room left after MNC`s contribution above.
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* See `older comments`.
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The Cranberries. Absolute dogshit.
‘I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong.’
‘Zombie’ is arguably the worst ever song about the Troubles in Ulster.
‘With their tanks and their bombs, and their bombs and their guns.’
‘What’s in your head. Zombie-eh-eh-eh.’
Absolutely fucking rank.
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And Fatty Capaldi is totally foul.
‘You said that I did everything wrong, and you’re not wrong.’
‘Cause I’m not ready
To find out you know how to forget me.
I’d rather hear how much you regret me.’
Fucking useless fat cunt.
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I also think that ‘classic’ ‘Angels’ by Blobbie Williams is also a load of crap.
‘Down the waterfall, wherever it may take me.’
What the fuck? It doesn’t even make sense.
And don’t get me started on that skank Adele.
‘We could have had it all, rolling in the deep.’
Someone should tell the choc cock loving chav that people drown in deep water, they don’t bloody ‘roll’ in it.
‘I set fire to the rain.’
How does that work exactly?
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White phosphorus?
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Nuclear weapons?
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The original chorus of Angels..” ‘ I’ve got a creaking closet, and run out of WD40’
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Adele’s Chasing Pavements should be renamed Breaking Pavements.
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Anything by that notorious k*ddie fiddler, Cliff ‘colostomy bag’ Richard! “Christmas time, mistletoe and wine!” Oh, just fuckoff you God bothering cunt!
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Another personal favourite;
‘I’m sorry that I doubted you, I was so unfair
you were in a car crash, and you lost your hair’
Don’t Pass Me By
R Starkey 1968
Byron or Browning couldn’t have done better
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Spawny get Ringo.
Got to jump a prime era Barbara Bach.
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Culture club – War is stupid and people are stupid written by Boy George age 3.
Duran Duran – people say you’re easy on me, you’re about as easy as a nuclear war.
Just a slight exaggeration!!
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Yes, that was in their Plasticine® era.
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First thing that came to my mind was:
What’s-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect?
What-a you t’ink you do, why you look-a so sad?
It’s-a not so bad, it’s-a nice-a place
Ah shaddap-a you face!
Then Get your freak on by Missy Elliot. For some reason I flashed further back to the vile KLF.
There are some right dregs in my brain. Don’t forget to wake me up before you go-go!
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Sorry but can’t/won’t check older comments but I’ve always loathed ‘Where is the Love’ by Blacked Mudshark or whatever they are called.
The whole song is garbage but the opening is possibly the worst;
“What’s wrong with the world, Mama?
People livin’ like they ain’t got no mamas”
I always thought it was the fathers that didn’t stick around.
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Never again will I take any truck about my lyrics being crap.
Compared to this lot I’m Shakespeare and Chaucer rolled into one.
Rock on, Tommy…
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Atomic kitten was the one for adjusting the lyrics, it’s easy to fuck up songs with just a few small tweaks… Baby your the one, take it up the bum, you can like my hole again…
John Denver…. Almost heaven, I’ve wet my finger
Oasis…. Don’t talk back ya wanker
You get the idea
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Here’s another horrendous pile of cunt I heard a while. Brain-dead nihilistic, modern yank crap.
Like a G6
‘Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right, gettin’ slizzard
Sippin’ sizzurp in my ride, in my ride, like a Three 6
Now I’m feelin’ so fly like a G6
Like a G6, like a G6
Now, now, now, now, now, now I’m feelin’ so fly like a G6
Like a G6, like a G6
Now, now, now, now, now, now I’m feelin’ so fly like a G6
Give me that Mo-Moet-wet
Give me that Cry-Crystal-tal
Ladies love my style, at my table gettin’ wild
Get them bottles poppin, we get that drip and that drop
Now give me 2 more bottles ’cause you know it don’t stop
(808) Hell yeah
Drink it up, drink-drink it up,
When sober girls around me, they be actin’ like they drunk
They be actin’ like they drunk, actin’-actin’ like they drunk
Whe, when sober girls around me they be actin’ like they drunk-unk-unk’
Music for cunts. The title refers to a non-existent variant of Gulfstream jet, which is what glamourous people fly about in, apparently.
Twats.
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