Category Archives: sporty cunt

The Commonwealth Games

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The Commonwealth Games starts today. Wowza! Mrs D is having an eye operation this morning, so she won’t we able to watch the opening ceremony. Literally. Frankly, I almost envy her…

I am forced to reflect on another recent sporting occasion – the Open. You know, the one where arrogant rich bastards like Tiger Woods get paid huge amounts of money to hit a little white ball down a patch of grass and then tap it into a plastic cup with a stick.

This led me to think that perhaps both events should really be called the Coon and Wealth Games?

Nominated by: Dioclese

I advance cunt the Commonwealth games. All will know why a week after it starts.

Nominated by: King Cunt

Andy Murray [8]

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I know he has been cunted many times, and also recently – BUT – there cannot be enough times for this one and Its going in advance :-

Andy Murray Crying at Wimbledon

Now at this stage we don’t know if its because the cunt loses, or wins. To be honest it dosen’t matter he is going to regardless. The fact the cunt is on every screen and newspaper already is enough.

Its time to take this cunt, and his mum, girlfriend as well for hanging around the cunt always wanting to know when he will propose on camera – and pack the cunts to Syria for target practice. Take all the cunts from the BBC covering it as well.

Nominated by: King Cunt

Joey Barton

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Joey Barton

Joey Barton is a multi channel world class cunt who has outlets on twitter, red tops, internet sports sites, and now available on tv via question time. If you have never heard of him, then lucky you, and search his name online, for the lifetime of cuntery that he has dedicated himself to.

He is the triple threat of thuggery, espousing ill conceived opinions, and mediocrity in his chosen career.

Nominated by: The Oncoming Fart

Joey Barton is indeed a cunt… Why he thinks that people are interested in anything he says, that he has anything interesting to say at all and that he thinks he is actually intelligent is anyone’s guess….

A horrible, whining little gobsgite and a substandard footballer: Barton has the nerve to call Ryan Giggs a “wrong’un”… OK Giggsy has got up to some extra-curricular shagging, but Barton (when at Man City) stubbed a cigar out in the face of a City youth team player.
And that’s not the only bit of nastiness Barton has got up to.

As for his Question Time appearance, firstly: What the fuck was he doing on it in the first place? Has the BBC sunk that low?! Second: Joey Barton calling anyone ugly is like Oasis telling another band that they shouldn’t rip off other acts too much…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Andy Murray [7]

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This dour, ugly, sweaty Scottish cunt must rank as the most unlikeable sports person on the planet. The cunt gives off an aura of “Fuck you all” to such a degree, it boggles the mind why any tournament organiser would want the cunt there. If he doesn’t win it’s because some other cunt cheated or he has strained his sphincter when smashing up yet another racket. If he does win it’s because he is a living legend and no one else is fit to even look at him.

The worst thing surrounding the whole carry-on is that the English adopt the Scottish cunt once a year, when he turns up at Wimbledon and proceeds to swear and sweat his way through the entire tedious event.

Fuck off Murray. Stop asking the ball boys and girls to bring you your rancid sweaty towel in between every shot, and at least show some humility to acknowledge that you play a poncy fucking game for a living.

Nominated by: KiwiCunt

Betting ads

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Every fucking sports programme on the box these days is interrupted and peppered with bloody adverts encouraging people to gamble… Whether it’s that cartoon cockernee buffoon, Ray Winstone (“Bet Free Six Foive! Naaar!”), that shouty Italian commentator twat, or those cunts in sombreros with that crappy Beyoncé music. Then there’s the commercials for casinos, roulette, online poker, William Hill, and ever other bookie in Britain… It’s just total overkill…

So telly here in the UK is not allowed to advertise fags, cigars (those Hamlet ads were ace!) or baccy any more. Booze is hardly advertised these days (unless it’s some pretentious Guinness ad, a twatty Strongbow ad, or that funny looking Grouse thing at Xmas!). But it is perfectly acceptable to encourage people to bet, gamble and get into possible debt or even an addiction?!

Anthony Burgess said “They took away our opium, and they gave us beer and football”

A 2014 version could go like this:

“It’s now frowned upon to drink and smoke. But, hey, it’s OK to gamble… Give us all your money that way, and dig yourself a potential hole into the bargain!”

Pure working class screwing, hypocritical capitalist cuntery…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

( Fancy a flutter on the EU elections, Norman? Ed. )